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Open Poetry #10
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LoriJaye
Junior Member
since 2000-10-23
Posts 34
Massachusetts USA

0 posted 2000-10-29 04:10 PM


snowflakes
idly browsing
midst sparse golden hued leaves
mussed by wind’s ardent affection
falling




"A smile is when your inner beauty comes outside."

© Copyright 2000 LoriJaye - All Rights Reserved
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
1 posted 2000-10-29 04:13 PM


WOW.....do you want to send some my way...this is lovely. You have penned much in such short verse.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-10-29 04:28 PM


very lovely ...
this is a cool piece of work..
unique and creative
its beauty is in its brievity and its imagery created with well chosen vocabulary
very nice indeed,
welcome to passions from me if i have not yet done so
I look forward to more of your work
take care
jm

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
3 posted 2000-10-29 04:33 PM


this is beautiful. you almost
make me want snow, almost lol.
in all seriousness, this was
lovely both in its form and in
its choice of words. looking
forward to reading more of your
work. take care.

~amy~  

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-10-29 04:44 PM


LoriJaye~
This is very lovely.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

LoriJaye
Junior Member
since 2000-10-23
Posts 34
Massachusetts USA
5 posted 2000-10-29 06:47 PM


Mark - Thank you. You're welcome to all the snow you want. I hate it and winter with a passion usually reserved for my poetry... short can be quite sweet depending upon the message wished to convey. =)

Janet Marie - Thank you for the welcome and kind words. I was struck by the beauty outside my window this afternoon and a few words simply seemed to sum up the experience. =)

Amy - Thank you!  I hate what those lovely lazy snowflakes portend but it was a beautiful scene begging to be captured poetically. =)

Marge - Thank you... =)

Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925

6 posted 2000-10-29 06:51 PM


A lovely image, but truthfully I miss the beauty of a freshly fallen snow. But then again i never have to shovel it again, thank you for the wonderful image.

Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
7 posted 2000-10-29 06:55 PM


How lovely this is...you captured the
feeling of the first snow to perfection.
I always love the first snow...now if it
were only the Last snow  



Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
8 posted 2000-10-29 07:34 PM


All righty then UptoNow we've not had any snow... Don't be wishing it on us too soon here...

This is nicely done, though...

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
9 posted 2000-10-29 07:35 PM


I did see a couple of your strays here today, though..
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

10 posted 2000-10-29 07:42 PM


your words were chosen exquisitely!!

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses
over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey.""
Laurie Lee

Kathleen


Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
11 posted 2000-10-30 07:16 AM


Lori Jaye, what a lovely cinquain. I'm shivering at the thought of it. Beautiful
Be well
Kethry


Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
Gail Sheehy

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