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Open Poetry #10
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Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas

0 posted 2000-10-28 02:49 PM


And the sun, the sun rose on the dew
As sprouting ash poles came into view
A cadence rolls out for men on the move
Onward to battle, their valor re-prove

And the sun, the sun rose on the dew
As ranks of archers came into view
A saber went down, the arrows went up
A message miscarried to a life abrupt

The English knew not their Saracen foe
And suffered a short, sharp rain of arrow
Eyes went up while bodies went down
Porcupine soldiers on the ground

Heathens swarmed over the dew laden hill
Eager to have the Infidels killed
And with the sweep of a curved, wicked blade
White heads and hands went rolling away

Just another skirmish in Acre that day
'Fore the siege, battle, Crusade went away
History still lives if you know where to look
Pinned like a butterfly, trapped in a book


Alicat


If I were any more laid back, I'd be in a coma.


© Copyright 2000 Alastair Adamson - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 2000-10-28 02:57 PM


'History still lives if you know where to   look
Pinned like a butterfly, trapped in a book'

Excellent writing, Ali! Fantastic!

Denise

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
2 posted 2000-10-28 02:59 PM



Alicat-
   WOW!  this is awesome...very powerful.

   'Eyes went up while bodies went down
    Porcupine soldiers on the ground'

   'History still lives if you know where to look
    Pinned like a butterfly, trapped in a book'

    i like this alot.
    a valuable reminder here.  

    -vicky




"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

3 posted 2000-10-28 04:26 PM


Loved your writing Alicat..

                  ~Victoria~

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2000-10-28 04:32 PM


"History still lives if you know where to look
Pinned like a butterfly, trapped in a book"

Excellent Ali! Incredible image-filled writing with great closing lines!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925

5 posted 2000-10-28 09:15 PM


i would have picked a favorite line...but then it would be the whole story told...excellent job!
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

6 posted 2000-10-28 09:18 PM


ah, yes the English, my mother's side is English, my father is Irish, this one did me in, I absolutely loved every word.

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses
over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey.""
Laurie Lee

Kathleen


Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2000-10-29 03:01 PM


Great poem Alicat!

A tale well told. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


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