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startin_fresh
Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 137
US

0 posted 2000-10-28 09:18 AM


      Silent Suffering
        

In the darkness of my bedroom
Where I go once all are gone
I lay there awake and tears flow
No sobs fill the room, No tears
are noticeable; they are internal.
So careful I am to never reveal
Just how much pain that I feel
Words of supposed loved ones
Cut deep and expose all the
Ugliness of my life.
For years I've felt no love
Caring or kindness from them.
I speak of those who should be
Near and most dear to me.
Yet, they are distant and hurl
Words of hate and disrespect.
I lie quietly here and dream
While inside my inner spirit
Cries out for love and freedom.
This inner voice is so loud but
Isn't heard outside of myself
Where's the child that's within
The child is sheltering and is afraid
To come out to face the cruelty of some.
Soon I must make the break and live
My life for me and not those that
Bind me with invisible chains.
I have served my time and only want
To live in peace and contentment.  
I must muster the strength to make
The journey...Take that first step
And end the silent suffering.
< !signature-->

Beacon of Hope! Your guiding light during life's troubling moments. www.yourbeaconofhope.com


[This message has been edited by startin_fresh (edited 10-28-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 startin_fresh - All Rights Reserved
BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
1 posted 2000-10-28 09:29 AM


Silent suffering makes us feel so alone, yet there is so much beauty in life waiting for you, on the other side of pain. Take that step, you won't regret. Never look back on an unhappy past. Venture forward knowing from that point on, life is what YOU make it.
Great poem, hope to see more of your writing.
Deb

Poet's Sister
Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 80
North Carolina
2 posted 2000-10-28 09:42 AM


Sonds like you might be living up to your name...leaving the silent suffering behind and Startin Fresh!  It takes a lot of courage to share this much pain.  Well written piece.
Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925

3 posted 2000-10-28 08:38 PM


let the tears flow, release the dam. then you will feel free. there's no shame in crying. crying is a natural way to relieve the pain. when you cry we all cry with you, so don't feel alone.
startin_fresh
Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 137
US
4 posted 2000-10-28 09:46 PM


BloomingRose---The stage is set and plans are in the works. I have a few things to do before taking the big step. Thank you for the encouragement. I am glad you liked the poem I have others here at Net Poets.

Poet's Sister ---- Yes it took all I had to press the submit button. It's been a 7 yr journey out of the darkness. Thank you for the compliment on how well the poem was written.

Ron K Fox---- I am sure the tears will come soon. The dam is in place for now. While now we are told there's no shame in crying, it was not that way 30+ yrs ago. I am re-scripting so I know I will get there eventually. I do know I am not alone as my poetic family is always here when I post.

Thank you all

Startin_Fresh


Beacon of Hope! Your guiding light during life's troubling moments.
www.yourbeaconofhope.com

Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
5 posted 2000-10-29 01:39 AM


"bind me with invisible chains"--that even sounds oppressive.  I'm glad you are taking the steps to liberate yourself from the situation.  Good luck!

Take me as I am or watch me as I go

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2000-10-29 02:13 AM


re-scripting...I like that.  Let me know how it all turns out.  Hugs and love because I DO understand.
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
7 posted 2000-10-29 02:20 AM


startin_fresh, so glad you are re-scripting and starting fresh. Loved your poem, it moved me in ways I can't even begin to describe.
Be well
Kethry


Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
Gail Sheehy

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
8 posted 2000-10-29 06:27 AM


Know that you are not alone...we all share in your pain.

~Wynter Bliss

startin_fresh
Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 137
US
9 posted 2000-10-29 09:22 AM


Tara - It is oppressive. It has been a long journey and you have been there to support me thank you my friend.

Serenity - Rescripting because the past I cannot change. I can only start again and try to learn as I go. To continue to dwell in the past would surely not get me to the point I hope to be. Thank you for the hugs. They are greatly appreciated.

Kethry -Thank you. It is good to know that there are those who truly understand.

nakdthoughts- Very interesting name. Nice to have met you and have you comment on my work. It's nice to have the additional support.

startin_fresh

Beacon of Hope! Your guiding light during life's troubling moments.
www.yourbeaconofhope.com

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2000-10-29 11:25 AM


StartinFresh~
The trip out of silent suffering begins with the first step.
And that is realizing the need for the journey.
You seem ready to begin - best of luck to you.
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Julie Jordan Scott
Member
since 1999-09-19
Posts 146
Bakersfield, CA USA
11 posted 2000-10-29 09:14 PM


I really enjoyed how you expressed the depth of emotion, free flowing and vibrant amidst the deep sadness.  I can almost hear the chimes ringing in the background, announcing your upcoming reappearance.

I am a Life Purpose Coach who specializes in assisting
men and women to clarify their Life Purpose and then in turn
live true to their purpose. After 5 years working with the
Severely Mentally Ill in County Mental Health, I gave up the
bureaucracy (and safe, secure blanket) of this environment
to pursue my own purpose and passion.


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