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Dead Roses
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Dead Roses |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven 
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My love can you see the roses are dead I'm left with the thorns on which I did bleed I had nurtured them each day since you fled Unknowing was I of what they did need The fallen leaves in which stand the black ghosts Gather in piles as if hiding the deed Which broken colour will spring miss the most should no rose fragranced air be there to blow no warm soft petals to bumblebees host The mourning moon will miss making them glow the morning sun will miss kissing their dew sharing of light so their beauty could show Like me they did die while grieving for you The only true love this heart ever knew. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wonderful!! I love the rhyme scheme you used. But Jamie tis so sad! I think you need to plant a new rose bush in your garden!  |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Jamie...oh how sad...like Ms. deVine...I think you should plant a new rose...with your heart you will know what to do to make it bloom again |
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Ron K. Fox Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925 |
this is very touching. you express the pain so well... Unknowing was I of what they did need The fallen leaves in which stand the black ghosts Gather in piles as if hiding the deed Such a visual poem. i see the withering garden. very good. |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
Oh so sad! Don't let your garden die! Hope springs eternal- bring it back to life! Much love all, Krissie ~*Those words... Oh, how I long to hear ...those words Tell me...*~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Jamie--don't keep those dead roses in your heart...take them to the compost pile...they will make new ones more beautiful. You expressed your sadness well in this poem! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Prometheus~ The roses may be dead, but your poetic talent is very much alive in this piece. The rhyming form is excellent and unique. I really enjoyed it and reading it out loud is a wonderful treat. ~*Marge*~ < !signature--> ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com [This message has been edited by Marge Tindal (edited 10-27-2000).] |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
i was just sitting here writing a terza rima..what a coincidence..i find it harder to do than most other sonnets..this was great jamie..well back to work haa..  ~Victoria~< !signature--> A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) [This message has been edited by Victoria (edited 10-28-2000).] |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Jamie, I always think of roses dying in relation to loss of love. It is so fitting, somehow. How long have you been so devastated? I hope the pain gets better soon. Take care. Sandra |
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Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
May I say... simply "BEAUTIFUL POEM?!?!" And...Wonderful Imagery too! Todd-Michael |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Such exquisite sorrow....this is extremely well done, I really enjoyed it. *Krista Knutson* "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." Helen Keller |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah Jamie....sometimes, with loving care, they will spring forth again...in the most odd and unusual places...do know, it can happen... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Quietly said, so sad and beautiful, and I love the structure of your poem! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
This is so beautifully written Jamie, though sad. I agree with Martie, take those dead roses to the compost pile, they WILL make the new ones more beautiful indeed. I enjoyed Jamie Maree "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this won't be enough" "Maree Russo" |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
Loved it!!!!!!!! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very sad, very beautifully expressed! Denise |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
PDV- What variety/color would you suggest? Paula- You are very perceptive to notice my good heart...lol Ron- Thanks for the great compliment AniKay- Perhaps more sun and less fertilizer?? Martie- Thanks for the advice and the nice reply Marge-I don't care for my own voice when reading aloud...lol,,, thanks dear! Victoria-- Can't wait to see it. catalinamoon- I suppose it is a common analogy.... --much too long.... Toddles-- Thank you very much.. I am glad you thought it was so nice. alwye- Much thanks! Karilea- Think so??? One can always hope. Debbie- Thanks, It is a form I enjoy writing in. Maree-- Thank you dear,, I am happy to try... vandana--Thank you, Loving is so much better than liking! Denise-- Thanks for the kind reply. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
~~~ Jamie ~~~ Roses die, just as love sometimes does. Both have a way of leaving the thorns behind, long after the memories and blossoms are gone. Beautiful, and sad.......  Follow your dream! |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
Jamie~ bury the old and bring in the new! Sad poem you write, but somewhere out there I am sure there is a new love for you, just keep and open mind and heart. With each spring a new rose sings the joy of a new heart that will kiss the morning dew after it's presented by you |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
SunnyOne--- Thanks-- and what a fitting graphic! Rosa Blooming - Thanks, Very nice thoughts. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Jamie, what a sad sweet poem. Btw did you not water them  Kethry Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. Gail Sheehy |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
The War Of The Roses With warmth of touch and sweet caress this rose appears for you. Almost perfect, without flaws, except for thorn or two. Light of sun on petals rests as bloom begins unfold. This almost perfect rose stands tall to share it's beauty, bold. It's crimson color, dark and deep with many shades and hues, is dampened with the eyes of mist and covered with the dew. Tempting all who catch a glimpse, inviting them to sip and taste the sweetest nectar, as the moisture from it drips from overflowing blossoms dew, that's reigning from within, desiring just the eyes of touch to drink, to savor sin... *coudn't resist wanted to give you a wink and a smile~Wynter Bliss "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
I have used this rhyme scheme, which I find very interesting, but your poem is so fluid.You make it look so easy, as only a talent of your caliber could. In addition, it's a very beautiful poem Liz |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I, for one wish roses did not die. This is very sad, and I agree, it was very fluid. "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."" Laurie Lee Kathleen |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Kethry-- You mean they have to have water???/. Thanks for the reminder..lol nakdthoughts-- Now that is a lovely poem--- back at ya!Liz-- I really enjoy Terza Rima,, and thanks a whole bunch for the compliment! Kathleen-- I would imagine you would....and i love the verse you have in your signature! Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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