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Open Poetry #10
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God, Please don't let it always be this complicated...
| Open Poetry #10 |
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God, Please don't let it always be this complicated... |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 
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Asinine Elaboration < !signature-->Krissie S. I had an unforgiving heart with an obnoxious disposition. Who could not drive away from memory all that sorrowful retention. I had a habit of forming redundant perceptions of touch, Writing maddeningly sad rhapsodies on my paper mache heart. Dreams drift drowsily about me. Chant casually to totally sedate me. The grip on my subconcious begins to frighten me. And he had a name ...oh, did he have a name. I had dreamt this name before! My soul had feigned that romantic label upon two lonely lips. Even Cassandra, that Pythian palmist of portents, could not envision the Callaesthics involved with pressing his fingertips. Yet my solemn sigh of sweet suffering- Never breathed in his direction... Still he found me, tired and broken, standing soaked through to my soul. Lost in that wild storm of intumescent hearts. Savoring it's short life in the sky. Hell-born light racing across the stars, shattering Heaven to rain down upon my head. Then gently it succumbs to the purple night. In all that charismatic chaos- Still he found me. Sadly I shook- security scared away. This feeling... Of being alive for the first time! Such innocuous, uninhibited tenderness seemed a phony, foriegn wile. I remained the undeserving unbeliever. Insecure, with lowered head, awaiting judgement... Yet his affection survived forthright and unbiased. Still, my unkempt assurance of unworthiness never swayed. I couldn't discern how to initiate my surrender. There I stood, bound by trivial misgivings and masochistic melancholy. Consideration comes too close to craving... Omniscent obsession obliterates observation. When I only wanted to hold you... To press my palm upon your chest, abound in the rhythm of your heartbeat. To rise and fall within your breath. Inundate in you... Swim in the serene security of your smile. I was dazzeled by your cadence. The calm of your wake leaving me utterly fascinated. Undulating in a pacified state. His earnest desire beget new beginnings. Could you believe acquaintance had such auspicious audacity? I can... because he showed me- That we didn't need all those complex words or emotions. Just me and you, and the promise of us two. I'm sorry for telling u love was unnecessary... making you lose ur way I'm sure I'll be as sad as u feel ~Touch and Go [This message has been edited by AniKay83 (edited 10-27-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Christine Straka - All Rights Reserved | |||
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
 Is it wrong of me to move this back to the top? |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Even if it is I am glad you did, else I may have missed this wonderful piece. Loved the way it was chock full of alliteration also. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Ahh the doubts, lovely lovely poem, I really like this one. Almost explains that feeling of un deserving of love, that seems to haunt a soul. Mmmmm I remember, takes some walking away from too. Really good poem great write from you. Take care Marsha Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I can dig it...a kiss is just a kiss...James |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I had an unforgiving heart with an obnoxious disposition. Who could not drive away from memory all that sorrowful retention. I had a habit of forming redundant perceptions of touch, Writing maddeningly sad rhapsodies on my paper mache heart. ======================== I had dreamt this name before! My soul had feigned that romantic label upon two lonely lips. Even Cassandra, that Pythian palmist of portents, could not envision the Callaesthics involved with pressing his fingertips. Yet my solemn sigh of sweet suffering- Never breathed in his direction... Still he found me, tired and broken, standing soaked through to my soul. Lost in that wild storm of intumescent hearts. Savoring it's short life in the sky. Hell-born light racing across the stars, shattering Heaven to rain down upon my head. Then gently it succumbs to the purple night. In all that charismatic chaos- Still he found me. =========================== When I only wanted to hold you... To press my palm upon your chest, abound in the rhythm of your heartbeat. To rise and fall within your breath. Inundate in you... Swim in the serene security of your smile. I was dazzeled by your cadence. The calm of your wake leaving me utterly fascinated. Undulating in a pacified state. His earnest desire beget new beginnings. Could you believe acquaintance had such auspicious audacity? I can... because he showed me- That we didn't need all those complex words or emotions. Just me and you, and the promise of us two. ===================== ===================== damn girl ... WOW ...again I say WOW and also WHEW!!!! first of all let me say thank you for that amazing reply to my Paint Me Blue poem.. and then let me say Im apologize for taking so long to get here ...I am a week behind on my life and my poetry...  now...that being said... this poem is AMAZING...YES you did indeed find the words and THEN SOME.. Krissy..this is really atonishing work... the DEPTH of your expression and your thoughts.. the intensity of it all.. the way you define your confusion and hesitation...and then the way you build the attraction and the intensity...and then as you make your discoveries... you bring the reader full cirlce. and back to the clarity and sweet, honest simplicity of those last anticipaion kissed lines...and those last lines are perfection of closure. >>I was dazzeled by your cadence. The calm of your wake leaving me utterly fascinated.<< what a way cool statement that is.. and oh how well I KNOW... really suberb process here.. outstanding writing.. you went deep for this.. and you took your poetry to a higher level in doing so... and its a very cool thing for a fellow poet to get to see ... Im so glad your back and shared this with me your poetry is as unique and poetic as are your replies thank you for sharing those with me as well we find our inspiration in the light of each other...the gift of poetry and this place. take care wise poet... JM |
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Ron K. Fox Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925 |
through the maze of tangles we see clearly. Love and be loved. Nice way to say it. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
THIS is a fantastic piece of writing, I am very impressed and I don't remember if I've read yours before or if I welcomed you so welcome and it's a piece I read over and over, because it is very deep. Keep it up. "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."" Laurie Lee Kathleen |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
This is AMAZING!! I am almost at a loss for words. That doesn't happen very often, I can assure you. This poem is full of such poetic perfection, the way you formed your thoughts took my breath away. The flow and rhythm of the entire piece came together, in a way that is very unique. i have not had the pleasure of reading your poetry prior to this piece. but i am very happy that i did this evening. "I was dazzeled by your cadence. The calm of your wake leaving me utterly fascinated. Undulating in a pacified state. His earnest desire beget new beginnings. Could you believe acquaintance had such auspicious audacity? I can... because he showed me- That we didn't need all those complex words or emotions. Just me and you, and the promise of us two." EXCELLENT! this is what i call poetry in motion and it is a true honor to post beside you and the other fine poets at this forum. i sit in awe of your beautiful poetry. looking forward to reading more!  take care. ~amy~ |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
AniKay, I hope that it's not always this complicated!!! Great poem! ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
The title says it all. Very Very Good!!!!!!!! |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
Prometheus~ Yeah, me too. It's been awhile since I've heard from ya. Thanks for the reply. Marsha~ Doubt is a sad and scary thing. It makes us hold back a lot of things. Thanks for the reply. jmlee12345~ But it comes with so much more... Janet Marie~ First, you're welcome for the reply- you deserved it. Now, thanks so much for your amazing reply, my friend! I too, felt like my poetry has grown with this one. I kinda impressed myself. I'm really proud of it. I had to bring the reader in a circle, cause I felt like I was running one. Being 17 can be so taxing on one's heart! With age comes wisdom or persevearence? Love to read your replies. Thanks. Ron K. Fox~ I love the romantic way you reply to poems. Thank you. Irish Rose~ Ah, thanks for the welcome. Glad to see you read it over. I know when I'm truly taken by a poem, when I feel the need for repetition. Thanks. Aimster~ I'm glad you were introduced to my poetry with this piece. And you can present no better compliment than speechlessness! Poetry in motion? That's a great compliment, too! Thanks for the kind words.Sven~ Me too, although it does make it interesting! Always great to hear from you friend. inot2B~ Yup, I'm praying for it! Thanks for the reply. Thank you all for the kind words. I'm always impressed by the beautiful replies, as well as the poems found here in Passions. Much love all, Krissie ~*Those words... Oh, how I long to hear ...those words Tell me...*~ |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Krissie Outstanding!!!!I particularly like I had a habit of forming redundant perceptions of touch, Writing maddeningly sad rhapsodies on my paper mache heart. Be well Kethry Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. Gail Sheehy |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
*bows* Ah, thank you, thank you. You're too kind. Much love all, Krissie |
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