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Open Poetry #10
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Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief

0 posted 2000-10-26 03:09 PM



As you may have well guessed,
i didn’t want to deal with you.
Contrary to popular belief I
don’t need you.

i just wanted to be alone.

Ahh…
But those dreams start coming,
You and me…
and my thoughts are flooding.
Visions run rampant through
narrow hallways, worn tunnels in my mind.

you wouldn’t let me sleep tonight.
you wouldn’t let me out tonight.

Now it is all said and done.
i just want what you are.
i just want what i am.

You wouldn’t let me sleep tonight.
wouldn’t let me out tonight.

You couldn’t tell when to stay away.
How stupid you must be.

Now you’re looking at me, all vague,  & empty eyed,
or are you just staring off into space?

You wouldn’t let me sleep tonight.
wouldn’t let me out tonight.

i wish you would go away,
cause I don’t need you anymore.
Never really did.

Now take your money and go.

i just want to sleep tonight.

© Copyright 2000 wes wiggins - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2000-10-26 04:17 PM


Effigy~
"Ahh…
But those dreams start coming,
You and me…
and my thoughts are flooding.
Visions run rampant through
narrow hallways, worn tunnels in my mind"

Powerful.....great write.   -SEA

jonmcm
Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 222
England
2 posted 2000-10-26 05:22 PM


Effigy, a nice poem - it reminds me of the times that I have tried to convince myself that I don't have a dependancy upon someone close, yet deep down I really do: -

'You wouldn’t let me sleep tonight.
wouldn’t let me out tonight.'

I'm just too weak to declare it.

Thanks
Jon

peppermint35
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106
Texas, USA
3 posted 2000-10-26 07:30 PM


This is a powerful piece!!!  Do you write music as well???  It would make a great song

Peppermint
Life is a Wheel

Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief
4 posted 2000-10-26 11:53 PM


Thanks I'm glad you enjoyed this.

No I don't right music, allthough I have tried.

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
5 posted 2000-10-27 01:55 PM


Yes a very strong write...one I can relate to
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
6 posted 2000-10-27 02:07 PM


Very powerful. Liked it much.
Sandra

forne_marin
Member
since 2004-04-13
Posts 140
Spartanburg, South Carolina
7 posted 2004-05-04 10:54 AM


I like this one. I don't have any real critique except to say that I'm not 100% sure I understand this one. I want you to reply to this. WHO or WHAT is the speaker referring to? Is this a woman? I like this one. I like it a lot, but I'm a little puzzled by it.
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