You Said My Mind Was Walking Away

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SpitFire
Member Elite

since 2000-04-19

Posts 2396

0 posted 2000-10-25 10:54 AM

You Said My Mind Was Walking Away

I slipped again
from the stage,
I snuck out the back
when it came time
to face up and be,
alive,
for all of you,...
why did I have to live for you,
where did the meaning go?

See, it's me in here,
surrounded
by the beauty
of created ways,
of your life on stage,
with me, down here
in skies flying
but grounded.

I've uncovered
the face,
the words swallowed
in script, of plays on when
and slid out of skins
far too congested to be
alive,
for all of you.

All I asked for
was a weakness,
taken,
exorcised from cavities
aloud no control,
finally alive,
for me.

You said my mind
was walking away, and
that I,
wasn't right behind.
I eluded myself when
I lived like that,
I captured your outside.

And you told me
that times, they always change
and that I,
was always a step ahead
or behind, never there
where it all took place,
a new face, worn,
washed for the minutes.

Acknowledging you,
only made it Real, I
allowed it to be, serene
for you, not me, and
now, it's a storm,
surrounding my silence,
a vortex, twirling.

All those nights,
when waters were high, I
screamed for you and I,
for purging and boulders,
for throwing it all, down,
away, taken by the current,
so strong, tired,...
of living this way.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2000-10-25 01:35 PM

SpitFire~ It seems to me someone does not appreciate you at ALL!! this felt very sad to me...but definately a great write!

-SEA

Ron K. Fox
Senior Member

since 2000-10-24

Posts 925

2 posted 2000-10-25 01:38 PM

I feel that lost connection. the narrow miss of the heart. Well done. Ron

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

3 posted 2000-10-25 01:40 PM

This is such a powerful piece...and like Sea says...you sound unappreciated...

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

4 posted 2000-10-25 01:49 PM

Hey there, want to join me in beating our heads against the wall?
This is one of your many poems that gave me chills as I read it. The further in you go, the deeper it gets. Great writing.
Hope you are ok..I know these feeling inside out..
Sandra

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

5 posted 2000-10-25 03:44 PM

Indeed...I think there's something going around...loved it, lady...More later...want to think on this some more...

peppermint35
Senior Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 1106
Texas, USA

6 posted 2000-10-25 04:57 PM

Well, they do say that that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!!

This is so well done....never settle for less than you obviously deserve.

Peppermint
Life is a Wheel

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

7 posted 2000-10-25 05:22 PM

taste of a bittersweet love.
hear you, your sadness and your
unappreciated feelings, as other told here earlier.

take care Charisma

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

8 posted 2000-10-25 05:23 PM

A - ... <-- an ellipsis, 'cause I don't know what to say. This is so powerfully sad that I want to reach out and hug you!

The layers in this piece are many, and I'm sure I've not seen them all. I'll partially agree that you should never settle for less than you deserve... but I also think that there's an ending to every storm.

(((HUGZZ)))

C

SpitFire
Member Elite

since 2000-04-19

Posts 2396

9 posted 2000-10-25 08:33 PM

~Thank you sweet people!
*Sea, thanks for thinking and saying.
*Ron, nice ta meet ya, and thank you for your time. You pretty near nailed it. Thank ya.
*Paula, thank you gurl for stopping in on me and for the powerful.
*Oh Sandra, didn't you know I've been here doing that with you the whole time? hehe. You're awesome. Thanks for understanding.
*Serenity, ok...and thanks for peeking.

.
*Peppermint, nice to meet you, and thank you kindly for your words.
*Charisma, thank you for hearing me.
*Chris, YOU for once DON'T know what to say? Hmm. No sa! Thanks for coming by and for your theory 'bout the storms.
*Peace People.

Alle'cram
Senior Member

since 2000-02-28

Posts 1816
Texas

10 posted 2000-10-25 09:15 PM

SpitFire,
Excellent writing! emotions & situations expressed and felt. Charged!
..think this is my first time to read you & wow! Marcy

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