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Open Poetry #10
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Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA

0 posted 2000-10-22 09:43 PM


When the stars lose their luster,
And deserts are kissed with morning dew
When the faithful stop believing
That’s when I’ll be over you

When all the world stops laughing
And the oceans cease to roar
When my heart stops beating
Then I’ll love you no more

When the sun stops shining
And night is no longer dark
Then I’ll know for certain
My soul has erased your mark

When I stop memorizing
Every word you’ve ever said
That’s when I’ll finally know
The love I have is dead.


© Copyright 2000 Tara Simms - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2000-10-22 09:57 PM


Tara~
This is so beautifully written
and yet so very sad ...

'When the sun stops shining
And night is no longer dark
Then I’ll know for certain
My soul has erased your mark'


Reminded me of The Twelfth Of Never
with Johnny Mathis crooning his heart out.

'I'll love you 'til the poet runs out of rhyme,
until the twelfth of never ...
And that's a long, long time.'

~*Marge*~
< !signature-->

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                       noles1@totcon.com       


[This message has been edited by Marge Tindal (edited 10-22-2000).]

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2000-10-22 09:57 PM


Tara~ yes..this is beautiful.......I liked this best:
"When I stop memorizing
Every word you’ve ever said
That’s when I’ll finally know
The love I have is dead."

Great write.   -SEA

[This message has been edited by SEA (edited 10-22-2000).]

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
3 posted 2000-10-22 10:07 PM


Tara--

beautiful!! this is so breatakingly beautiful
yet heart-breakingly sad. your writing
always moves me in ways i can't explain.
and while you and i are on different
pages of love currently, i certainly
can relate to the pain you penned here.

"When the sun stops shining
And night is no longer dark
Then I’ll know for certain
My soul has erased your mark

When I stop memorizing
Every word you’ve ever said
That’s when I’ll finally know
The love I have is dead."

YOU said it girl! Excellent poem!

Take care.
Amy  




[This message has been edited by Aimster (edited 10-22-2000).]

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2000-10-22 10:22 PM


When the stars lose their luster,
And deserts are kissed with morning dew
When the faithful stop believing
That’s when I’ll be over you
=========================
When the sun stops shining
And night is no longer dark
Then I’ll know for certain
My soul has erased your mark
=========================
Tara this is indeed excellent...
you have wonderful metaphor driven imagery
and the intensity is perfect
as is the rhyme and cadence ...
I relate so much to these emotions...
the intense need to always FEEL the love... not just remember it as a memory...
OH HOW I RELATE...
and you captured it well in this piece
very well written
take care girlie girl
JM


Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
5 posted 2000-10-23 12:32 PM


Why are we never able to get over them?

And why are they never able to understand why we can't?

Beautiful my friend. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
6 posted 2000-10-23 06:22 PM


than I'll be over you,
love is so full emotion,
and also full with pain,
I feel and hear it in and
through your words.

Charisma

Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
7 posted 2000-10-23 07:16 PM


Marge, to quote another song "breaking up is hard to do."  The twelfth of never. I like the sound of that.

SEA, thank you.  Right now my mind is stuck on instant replay, going over every word we exchanged.

Amy, thank you so much for your praise.  It brought a ray of sunlight to my day.

Janet Marie, such a glowing review to receive on this rather gloomy poem.  Thank you!

Sven, if he knew I wasn't over him, I think he'd understand.  Pride prevents me from saying anything.  What would be the point?  The issues are still there.  Sometimes love isn't enough.

Charisma, poetry is meant to be felt, not read.  I'm glad I accomplished this task with you.

Thank you all for reading this and understanding.  The grieving process is long and painful.  I think we've all been there a time or two.


Take me as I am or watch me as I go

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
8 posted 2000-10-23 07:17 PM


So painfully beautiful, Tara!  I can definitely relate to this one.  Great write!

sp  


Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'it might have been.' -John Greenleaf Whittier

Jeff Osborne
New Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 2

9 posted 2000-10-24 03:02 AM


"I love you": a warning, an apology, an interruption, a plea for attention, an objection, an excuse, a justification, a reminder, a trap, a blessing, a disguise, a vacuum, a revelation, a way of saying nothing, a way of summarizing everything, an attack, a surrender, an opening, an ending.

when?... never - I do understand ...

- wonderfully written; your heart put to words and images that are beautiful in their sadness. Wouldst that you could have different inspiration for your writing talents...  
                        jo  )


Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
10 posted 2000-10-24 03:16 AM


I too can relate to this very much so.  Very sad yes, but so well penned with your heart stretched out.  Loved the read and send hugs to help comfort and as for the good-bye you spoke of on you other piece, yes, I do understand the need for closure...it never seems to come easily does it?  
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
11 posted 2000-10-24 12:37 PM


But it should be, shouldn't it Tara?

Had to come back. . .  

-------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
12 posted 2000-10-24 07:20 PM


Mark, it's rather strange for me to post my pain all over the internet for all the world to see.  Thank you for reading, understanding and offering comfort at this time when I need it.  It does help.

Sven, in a perfect world, love would be all that's needed.  In an imperfect world, such as this, sadly, it's never enough.  

Jeff, "I love you"--a reason for being, dreaming and wishing.  It's promises unspoken, answered prayers, silver linings on storm clouds. Using "I love you" as a goodbye is probably the hardest thing to do.  
< !signature-->

Take me as I am or watch me as I go

[This message has been edited by Tara Simms (edited 10-24-2000).]

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