»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #10
»
Best Laid Plans....
| Open Poetry #10 |
|
Best Laid Plans.... |
|
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
|
She was sure her man was cheating though she didn't have a fact So she designed a plan that would help catch him in the act. There was a ball for Halloween that they were going to And she said, "Dear, I'm feeling ill and I can't go with you." He offered to stay home with her but she said, "That's alright. Just go on and enjoy yourself and have some fun tonight." So he dressed in his costume and he kissed his wife goodbye As she stood there and watched him leave with daggers in her eye. As soon as he drove 'round the bend and she was all alone She pulled a box out that contained a costume of her own. She put it on then called a cab and to the ball she went... (When someone said HELL HATH NO FURY.....THIS is what they meant!) His costume had been quite unique, specifically designed. She knew that he would stand out. He would not be hard to find. She checked the house from room to room - she opened every door Then saw her husband out there with some blonde on the dance floor! He never once had danced with her! He didn't like that stuff Yet there he was entwined around some bleach-blond piece of fluff!! He had a tall drink in his hand and acted like a fool... She wanted to just shoot him but she had to keep it cool. She walked up quite seductively and gave her man a glance. He reached and pulled her close to him as they began to dance. He ground his body into her and squeezed her half to death And she was almost overcome with liquor on his breath. He led her glance up to the bedroom on the second floor Then took her by the hand and led her through the bedroom door. She had to keep her costume on to save identity So, dressed, she lay down on the bed and, smiling, so did he. For one full hour she let him have her, hating that man so And, when he finished, she jumped up and said she had to go. So she slipped out and grabbed a cab and got home real quick... The thought of what he'd done to her had made her feel sick. A short time later he came home and slipped into the bed. Armed with a script she had prepared, she smiled at him and said, "How was the party, honey? Did you manage to have fun?" He said, "No, it was boring...." (here she wished she had a gun!) "But, sweetheart," she said coyly, "did at least you get to dance?" "With someone else besides you, hon? No, never! Not a chance!" "But surely there were pretty girls who tried to catch your eye?" "They'd waste their time", he said. "You know that I'm a faithful guy." She almost had to be restrained to not shoot him right then But, calling on the strength of gods, composed herself again. "Poor dear," she said, through gritting teeth, "it really is a crime To go to such a lavish ball and not have a good time. "Oh, well", he said, "when you're not with me I just can't have fun 'Cause I'm just a one-woman guy and you're the only one. I stood there for a little while and listened to the band And barely even sipped the drink that I had in my hand." "My buddies, Peter, John and Bill were feeling that same way So we went to the study, found cards and began to play. Going through a night without you, baby, makes me sad But the guy I loaned my costume to - WOW! What a night he had!  [This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 10-22-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Balladeer~ OMG!! It serves her right!! You tell a story soooo well. Enjoyed.  -SEA |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Balladeer your very clever writing makes very interesting and enjoyable reading..James |
||
|
Poet's Sister Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 80North Carolina |
You really know how to tell a story...and what a punch line! Enjoyed this a lot. Thanks for the chuckle. |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Gawd, yer too funny...and all my plans are best, laid! |
||
|
Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Bal-- this hit the old tickle bone. thanks for the laugh. no one tells a story-poem quite like you. enjoyed the read. take care. amy |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
ROFL ... wonderful punch line Balladeer! What a marvelous story ... you weave the tale so well, excellent writing Michael! Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
Rainydays Member
since 2000-10-21
Posts 324 |
Oh my goodness you had me til the very END! A wonderfully told tale, Balladeer! Thanks for the silly giggles! Rainydays |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Balladeer~ What are you wearing this Halloween ? I'll be sure to look for you ! ! Too funny ! Just too, too funny ! Love you~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
But did he win at poker?...probly so.. um... never mind..  |
||
|
WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
You had me wondering at the title, and drew me in the whole way through, But man the ending had me, who woulda knew. LOL deer, you're something else. |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Balladeer--You got me smiling...thanks! |
||
|
doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
well, i provided a little oral interpretation and read this piece to my enterage of visitors tonight and y'know what??? they laughed out loud and stood and applauded!!! you write somekindaocoolfunnyawesome poetry, 'deer Poet-friend... it was YOU that wrote this, write? *g ...this one cracked me up...! [This message has been edited by doreen peri (edited 10-22-2000).] |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Sea..yep, sometimes it does! Thanks for enjoying James...I always appreciate your comments. Poet's sister...and thank you for chuckling! serenity...You're a trip!!! Yep, I believe ya!  Amy...your funny bone is always a great target! Thank you... Kit...heart is warming again from your comment. Thank you, Kit. Rainydays...sill giggles are the best kind! Thank you! Marge...I have to put on clothes? NUTS!! Nan...lost to a girl...she had a better pair dovey....who indeed? She didn't!! Thank you, my dove Martie...putting a smile on that face is special to me |
||
|
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
ROFLMAO, I knew something was coming but I did not see that one. What a wonderful piece of work. I love it when you go full force. Excellent penning once again. I read it twice as I enjoyed it so much. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Doreen...thank you very much for the oral interpretaion. I'm sure that my words presented by your voice made for a good show...my appreciation to the audience Mark...thanks for stopping by and for allowing the ending to put a smile on your face |
||
|
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
OMG! Stunning work here Deer. Loved it all the way to the end and beyond. I love when justice is poetic. Keth Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. Gail Sheehy |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
kethry...yep, poetic justice can be a wonderful thing! Thank you much |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Sometimes we don't know what we think we know. Very clever writing, Balladeer! Very enjoyable. Love those surprise endings! Denise |
||
|
Alle'cram Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816Texas |
LOL!!! I mean to say, this (you) are something!! cough! cough! ...I was getting real mad at that lying, cheating husband to...good one Ball, your the best. Marcy |
||
|
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
ROTFL!!  This was just as good as your work always is if not better. I can usually count on you for a smile if I happen to need one. Now why do I picture you always sitting around with this terribly mischievious grin on your face, hmmmm?? |
||
|
Ron K. Fox Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925 |
This is the best...really funny. makes me wonder what to do for halloween. Ron |
||
|
Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
You never fail to put a smile on my face... now that is a rare talent!! |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I'd heard the story before... which just leaves me more impressed. Someone like me... who can't even tell a joke well, watches you and LJA and Toe keeping the integrity and humor of a story as you tell the tale with perfect rhyme and rhythm, and thinks such talent should be declared a sin. *S* For it sure inspires another - envy. *G* |
||
|
peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
Just absolutely great!!! It certainly surprised me entirely!!! Thanks for a lesson on how it's done when it's done right Peppermint Life is a Wheel |
||
|
Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
What a storyteller you are! I read this to my mom, who was visiting earlier today & I have never seen her laugh that hard in my life...LOLOLOLOL!!!! |
||
|
LoriJaye Junior Member
since 2000-10-23
Posts 34Massachusetts USA |
OMG!! You reeled me right in and then, WHAP! This was truly great! =) LJ "A smile is when your inner beauty comes outside." |
||
|
Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
Bump...Bump! |
||
|
Toddles Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396New Orleans, Louisiana |
Bump...Bump! "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind!"...Dr. Seuss |
||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
it sure beats bobbing for apples, and I loved the ending!!! "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."" Laurie Lee Kathleen |
||
|
Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
my my indeed Balladeer, This really was very sneaky. I loved it! |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Denise...and I LOVE your responses! Marcy...sometimes you never know!! Thank you Temptress...the grin never leaves Ron...forget the tricks..go for the treats! Butterflies...your smiles are woth it all! Suthern...I've been called a sinner before..you, on the other hand, are saintly Peppermint...glad the ending amused you. Thank you for reading... Toddles...my thanks to you and your mom...and the bumps! LJ...I'm REEL glad you liked it! Rose...well, bobbing for apples can be fun, too Rosebud...I LOVE being called sneaky! Thank you!! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
