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Open Poetry #10
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catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

0 posted 2000-10-22 05:34 PM


Last sad poem, I promise...


I offered you my cup of wine,
brimming with desire.
I offered you my sweetest love,
candy coated fire.

You drank of it, yet I was full
my hunger nearly cured.
The sweetness of your burning lips,
the all for which I yearned.

I offered you a taste of love,
no longer just a dream.
So sure your hunger was as mine,
That's surely how it seemed.

You suddenly turned bittersweet,
no sugar anymore.
You handed back my love to me,
and then you slammed the door.

Yet still my cup does overflow,
love spilling from the top.
Why did you change so suddenly?
How could those feelings stop?

Oh man of sweetest heat and flame,
how did it come to this?
You left me starving for desert,
with just a goodbye kiss...

© Copyright 2000 Sandra - All Rights Reserved
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2000-10-22 09:23 PM


Exceptional writing Sandra! What wonderful comparisons and images you've drawn in this piece ... so tender and wrought with emotion. Beautifully written!  

Best wishes and hugs to you,
/Kit

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2000-10-23 12:03 PM


CatalinaMoon~
Ahhhhh !
You write the sad ones so well.
Lovely and tenderly done !
~*Marge*~
< !signature-->

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                       noles1@totcon.com       


[This message has been edited by Marge Tindal (edited 10-23-2000).]

AniKay83
Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388
Missing Since 1999
3 posted 2000-10-23 12:05 PM


I always love your poems. You write so well. Keep it up.
Krissie


I'm sorry for telling u love was unnecessary...
making you lose ur way
I'm sure I'll be as sad as u feel
~Touch and Go

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
4 posted 2000-10-23 12:11 PM


'Yet still my cup does overflow,
love spilling from the top.
Why did you change so suddenly?
How could those feelings stop?'

Great lines!  Very nicely written, Sandra.  I like it a lot!

sp  

Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'it might have been.' -John Greenleaf Whittier

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2000-10-23 01:04 AM


catalinamoon methinks this man only wanted a cup of coffee....
but rest assured many men desire this cup of wine that you offer...
hold on to your dream...James

Daniel J D
Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471
Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia
6 posted 2000-10-23 01:29 AM


CatalinaMoon,
Well done, WOW! You got me thinking!

Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love
(Daniel J D)

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
7 posted 2000-10-23 03:56 AM


Sandra...
       I can feel your heart cry out in this one, my friend.........there will be one to answer that cry.....


Follow your dream!


Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
8 posted 2000-10-23 04:12 AM


My favorite line:

I offered you my sweetest love,
candy coated fire

Oh, what images that brings! And the ending was very sharp and conclusive (a good thing! ). Catalinamoon, very nice job!

~ Beth

[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (edited 10-23-2000).]

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
9 posted 2000-10-23 05:32 AM


you have penned this with such an elegance sadness....love your poems, keep on writing,
sad or happy, it flows all from the heart.

hugs

Charisma

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
10 posted 2000-10-23 06:35 AM


This is penned from your heart and your
soul...believe me I've bled my share of sad
poems here and it has allowed me to move
past alot of that pain...so if you need to
get it out....Write and we will read and
support you...great work~

peppermint35
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106
Texas, USA
11 posted 2000-10-26 08:41 PM


Sad it is, yes, but it just shows how much you have to give and yes....surely, there will be someone wonderful enough to deserve all that you offer and will be thoughtful enough to provide the dessert as well!!!!

Peppermint
Life is a Wheel

Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925

12 posted 2000-10-26 09:12 PM


this is a sad poem, very thought provoking. Food for thought.(dessert?). No pun intended.
But a glass of Chardanay sounds fine.

Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
13 posted 2000-10-26 10:14 PM


Sandra, great metaphor!  It's sad when we're left wanting for more.

Take me as I am or watch me as I go

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