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Open Poetry #10
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Two Sonnets (with kind permission of Janet Marie)
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Two Sonnets (with kind permission of Janet Marie) |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware 
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Recently Janet Marie posted "Fantasy Poet" - I was immediately enamoured of the poem - and saw it as exceptional - but also as a sonnet - so I set to work - it turned out to be two sonnets - with a few words leftover - I e-mailed her the results of my effort - and she liked and suggested I post it. Remember first the words are hers - I merely 'sonnetized' them. #1 Your words dance and rise with grace upon the page, Your invitation for desires to engage. Their promises to entice and linger, Your phrases slide rings of love round my fingers I long to see love - through your poetic, eyes, To share your vision, to see where my future lies To know your secrets - touch your soul's essence, To be consumed by the grace of your presence. To know the gifts of your passion's pleasures, To touch, to taste - your sensual treasures. Your rhymes enchant me - to my heart beckoning The core of your dreams - gifted gentle golden rings - Should fate grant this chance - your fantasies I'll fulfill, Would my dreams come true - overtake my will? #2 By your words conceived - I am captivated, Your offerings transfix - I'm fascinated. Baptize me in the depths of your cascade, I surrender to all - my resistance fades. Drawn to your promise - I offer on my knees. An invitation to ease - to dance with ecstasy Temptation, fascination - born of desire To just be touched like this - to be taken higher Will the mist of morn whisper?- Will I find me? Will there be anything left for me to see? I look to night skies for answers - do stars know where my heart lies? Will I survive - once I drown in your eyes? Does the sun know the secrets ... know what I should do? Can I still find me - should I fall into you? [This message has been edited by Wilfred Yeats (edited 10-22-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Wilfred Yeats - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sun knows many secrets, but this post, beautiful as it is, won't be one of them. Janet Marie, Mr. Yeats...this is lovely! Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Wil, Im so pleased you posted these ... as I told you in my e-mail ...I was so complimented that my poem inspired these in you..and also how much I adore sonnets.. but also it was VERY COOL to see my poem thru another poets eyes ... Thank you so much for sharing these .. we love sonnets in poetry land .. and thank you also...your the first person to "sonnetize me"  and I LOVED IT *smile*later-cool-sonnet-gator jm |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Wow ! Sonnet heaven I loved them both. Keth Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. Gail Sheehy |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Wilfred, a wonderful idea and it made for beautiful reading. loved this. Take a bow Wilfred and Jan. "an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women". Patti Smith |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Wilfred, Beautifully done and an excellent job in taking the words of one of our queens of poetry land and turning her already beautiful words into something more beautiful. The both of you need to take a bow. Now I say, a duet is in order don't you? |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Bill--love the way you did this! |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Karilea- Secrets? I know no secrets - Only transpose words - Thank you ~S~ Janet Marie - As I said - the words are YOURS I only was granted the gift of seeing them in a different arrangement. Thank you for your gracoius permission to post this. I sincerely hope you 'see' how this transposition was accomplished and give a sonnet a try.  Kethry- I will confess at times this was a bit of honest 'work' but for the most part Janet made it easy - all I really had to do was reduce lines to 9 to 11 syllables by eliinating extraneous words. These I 'stored' at the end of the page, then made extra lines from them so I'd have a total of 28. Finally rearranging to have the Sonnets 'resolve' in the last two lines. Probably no more 'work' than writing an original sonnet. The true beauty came from Janet's effort! Brian- We'll see if Janet attempts a sonnet or two on her own now - ~S~ Thanks Mark- Any additional beauty I may have contributed - came from the sonnet form - Every single word is Janet's. Thank you Martie- These words were so beautiful - speaking to me as they do - I felt compelled to attempt this - Thank you. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Wil...just wanted to say thank you again so much for this... and thank you to all who replied to this.. and saw the wonderful sonnets Wil created. I am very honored my words inspired you and it was a real treat to see my poetry thru your poetic eyes .. and I will try this someday soon when time and me mooody muse allows thank you so much later-sonnetmaster-gator jm |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Sir Poet Bill* Jan has inspired a lovely set of sonnets from you and I must say that you did an amazing job with each of them...I'm in a fit of poetic envy over these as they are so delicate and beautiful...my favorite form of all...I've never tried them...think I'll leave it to the masters, such as yourself~ |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Sir Wilfred,(how easily that rolls out of one's mind unto the page... Were you some glorious knight in your last life?) Your absolute mastery of sonnets leaves me breathless. My congratulations to you and to Janet – both of whom have combined sweet declaration with stunning style… BRAVO! ~ Beth I hate quotations. Tell me what you know. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
 Feels like Im dancing with truth and wisdom |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Wow - so beautiful. Melissa~ |
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