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Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2000-10-21 10:02 PM


  The Courage of Birds

The sky was smoky
like burning coal spreading
wisps around the top of the mountain
and the birds were acrobats
in formation against the charcoal air
where they would turn one way then another
one side white the other gray
a magic that turned them into sky
then back to bird

and the mountain was the color
of the bottom of the ocean
when green is almost black
and around it I could see the storm coming
felt it build as you turned away
turned with your needle
to stitch the sky to this minute
in sweeping threads of pain
and my palms were turned sideways
resting on a current of air
avoiding your desperation

And the tension exploded
in my path
where I saw your blue eyes
filled and erupting  
and your hair ruffled from doubt
and I watched you hold yourself together
with the smallest thread of gold
something that you found in desperation
that opened the sky
where I saw the birds whole and perfect
in a flash of clarity

and when you turned I wrote your wisdom
on my truth

To get out of the dark
takes a flash of insight
and the courage of birds.



[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 10-21-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2000-10-21 10:05 PM


Martie, I am definately in the dark now...thanks for the insight, as always
Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
2 posted 2000-10-21 10:13 PM


Martie-
"and my palms were turned sideways
resting on a current of air
avoiding your desperation"

"where I saw your blue eyes
filled and exploding  
...
with the smallest thread of gold
something that you found in desperation
that opened the sky
where I saw the birds whole and perfect
...
and when you turned I wrote your wisdom
on my truth
...
To get out of the dark
takes a flash of insight
and the courage of birds"

Incredible - just loved the way you did this

simply fantastic!!!

IP: Logged



© Copyright 2000  
< !signature-->

We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life.
But we can decide what happens in us... how we can take it, what we
can do with it


[This message has been edited by Wilfred Yeats (edited 10-21-2000).]

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2000-10-21 10:15 PM


Martie~
The storm passes and the clearing sky holds much light -

'I watched you hold yourself together
with the smallest thread of gold'


'To get out of the dark
takes a flash of insight
and the courage of birds.'


You're a remarkable woman !
~*Marge*~






~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2000-10-21 11:56 PM


passing shadows--darkness, light..I guess they are all a part of life.

Bill--I'm so glad you liked this...thanks for showing me the words that especially pleased you.

Marge--I have said before, it is YOU that is remarkable!

Daniel J D
Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471
Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia
5 posted 2000-10-22 02:30 AM


Martie,
Let not darkness shadow anything we have the courage to do. Well written.

Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love
(Daniel J D)

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

6 posted 2000-10-22 03:23 AM


Now I KNOW why I fill my birdfeeder, this is a great way of looking at them, I loved this one!!

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses
over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey.""
Laurie Lee

Kathleen



Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
7 posted 2000-10-22 07:32 AM


hmmmm, with just a moments hesitation and all huh?  Wonderfully written my friend and now I expect an e-mail in my mailbox when I get home from work tonight letting me know if you are okay or not.  Got it?  Good.   Hugs my friend.  Lots of them
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
8 posted 2000-10-22 07:55 AM


Martie, excellently crafted poem, this soared to new depths. An intense read, I hope all is well with you. take care.


And the tension exploded
in my path
where I saw your blue eyes
filled and erupting  
and your hair ruffled from doubt
and I watched you hold yourself together
with the smallest thread of gold
something that you found in desperation
that opened the sky
where I saw the birds whole and perfect
in a flash of clarity



"an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree
the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women".
Patti Smith

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

9 posted 2000-10-22 10:24 AM


a magic that turned them into sky
then back to bird

and the mountain was the color
of the bottom of the ocean
when green is almost black
and around it I could see the storm coming
felt it build as you turned away
turned with your needle
to stitch the sky to this minute
in sweeping threads of pain
and my palms were turned sideways
resting on a current of air
avoiding your desperation

And the tension exploded
in my path
where I saw your blue eyes
filled and erupting  
and your hair ruffled from doubt
and I watched you hold yourself together
with the smallest thread of gold
something that you found in desperation
that opened the sky
where I saw the birds whole and perfect
in a flash of clarity
=================
I wish I had the courage of birds ...
I wish I had your clarity ..
I wish I wrote like this ...
I wish you peace .. found in your poetry...
peace found in your moments of clarity.

>turned with your needle
to stitch the sky to this minute
in sweeping threads of pain<

what an absolutely genius metaphor ...
and its implications are astonishing.
it gave me a warm shiver when i read it.

what an amazing poem this is ...
as it the poet.
take care love ya
me



Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2000-10-22 11:18 AM


Daniel--sometimes it takes a shadow to find courage.

Kathleen--Yes birds are wonderful!

Mark--Thanks for the hugs...I am fine, don't worry!

Brian--thanks for the great response...sometimes life is a challange.

Janet--thank you for your kind words, my friend...made me smile.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
11 posted 2000-10-22 11:26 AM


Martie,
The thread of your needle has sown a golden web and I found it difficult to get out. Every day in every way you get better and better. *L*

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
12 posted 2000-10-22 12:09 PM


Martie, you do it again and again, this is an amazing write. Still it would be from an amazing person such as yourself. I really love this, I do. Oh and Martie, look after yourself, not only do you deserve to do so, you need to do so.
Take care
                      Marsha
                              


Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
13 posted 2000-10-22 12:19 PM



Wow, Martie, your words and images are phenomenal.  You just keep perfecting your craft and each poem by you is better and more captivating. I'm printing out a copy for myself to keep, I really enjoyed this piece, you should be very proud of your talent to pen poetry and tell an amazing story  

Take care,
Melissa Honeybee


The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams



Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

14 posted 2000-10-22 01:55 PM


Another fabulous piece, Martie!

Denise

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
15 posted 2000-10-22 02:11 PM



Martie-
   WOW!  what can i say...i love this.
   such a wonderful write  

   "and when you turned i wrote your wisdon
    on my truth

    To get out of the dark
    takes a flash of insight
    and the courage of birds."

    you are truely an incredible poet.  

    -vicky


    


"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho
16 posted 2000-10-22 02:48 PM


A wonderful, deep poem, strongly worded and woven with delicacy.  You have painted powerful emotions with the colored brushes of your exceptional imagery.

All the lines the others pointed out, are also the ones which grabbed me most.  Especially the ones "and my palms were turned sideways resting on a current of air avoiding your desperation", and " I watched you hold yourself together with the smallest thread of gold".

Your gift is a rare one, my friend.


[This message has been edited by Rosemary J. Gwaltney (edited 10-22-2000).]

lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
17 posted 2000-10-22 02:50 PM


Darn,

Bill got all the good lines..... Does anybody know when he sleeps..?



Writing isn't just something I do, it's something I am.
To write of feelings that touch all hearts in some manner is my delight.
-Marge Tindal

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
18 posted 2000-10-22 09:57 PM


Sy--I've got some sissors that cut that thread, snip...just cause you're so nice!

Marsha--I'm so glad you liked this...and thanks for your concern and e mail...I do look out after myself..I'm fine really...life can just be challanging at times...ya know?

Melissa--thanks for your kind words...and printing a copy...I'm flattered.

Denise--thanks for the fabulous!

Vicky--you said alot with a wow and incredible...I'm so pleased you liked this.

Rosemary--thanks for your friendship!

Hi lucky--he never sleeps and that's okay...cause I know what you mean.  

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
19 posted 2000-10-22 10:22 PM


This was incredible Martie! I read it so fast, I had to go back and start all over again just to force myself to slow down. Your words just came across with such impact ... wonderful imagery and flow in this, simply beautiful writing!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

20 posted 2000-10-22 10:28 PM


~Martie,...you and your words here,...perfectly poetic. You take me places. I enjoy. Thank you for sharing this. Take care M. *Peace.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

21 posted 2000-10-22 11:32 PM


Oh Martie...I saw that mountain so clearly...and those birds, wheeling...

wow

description lady - you've so done it again...

hugs
K

"He looked across the
silky surface of the Severn...
it was a famously difficult
river with fierce tides..."


From Jack Maggs


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
22 posted 2000-10-22 11:39 PM


Martie, the courage of birds pales beside your own. You are quite a lady....
Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
23 posted 2000-10-23 10:07 AM


Martie

you are a total master/mistress (?) of imagery y'know.  i love birds so i'm biassed towards this but in any event the closure was just beautiful.  

thanks yet again

philip

Robert Joseph
Member
since 2000-10-07
Posts 491
South Carolina
24 posted 2000-10-23 11:21 AM



Martie, I enjoyed the ''frenzied'' sense of arrival to the light...great read!


Robert Joseph

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
25 posted 2000-10-23 11:26 AM


You are an incredible woman...and it shows in your poetry
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
26 posted 2000-10-23 02:16 PM


Kit--Thank you for all the nice things you say in this reply...I appreciate it greatly.

Thank you spit fire..and peace to you too.

Kamla--I'm glad you liked the description..it was wonderful to see.

Balladeer--You say the nicest things.

Philp--I'm glad you liked the closure and the imagery..they are both important to me, as is your opinion.

Robert--I enjoy the unique way you reply...thanks.

Paula--What a wonderful thing to say...thank you so much.  

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
27 posted 2000-10-25 04:49 PM


"where they would turn one way then another
one side white the other gray
a magic that turned them into sky
then back to bird"

I love your descriptions, Martie... your words paint a picture... inviting the reader to watch as your discerning heart finds and shares wisdom.

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