navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #10 » playing goddess
Open Poetry #10
Post A Reply Post New Topic playing goddess Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods

0 posted 2000-10-20 01:47 AM


This is the second version of something I am still working on... let me know if there need to be any revisions. Thanks! ~ Beth

(uhm, now the PG form... (sorry to bump))

Elizabeth sits inside the square…
swaps emotions with the ease of a personality disorder,
and it makes her interesting;
*Sneers at the patronage* but instead becomes engaging to her audience;
outwits herself for challenge in the one on one melodramas
She waits outside the public communion, when some immaterial subject abruptly
jumps her to sudden introversion:
"We'll explore space when we've wasted enough of the planet to not want to be here anymore: evolution is based on societies' necessity and profit."

Is it simple powerpleasure to adjust the resolution of the whole world,
to shut out mannequins at some nonexistent party with
flip of a slim white switch?
Between the porno prompts and invites of "Hi how r u?"
She is waiting for someone to solidify,
to escape her solipsist's window
And demand her attention…

I am Elizabeth.
I am Sybil logins:
Beth is delicateandmelancholy
Beth is her_laugh_is_infectious
Beth is Hard_Cor (ha ha)
Beth is lizzacreature
I post my emotions with vain name exemptures and declare my occupation as
'shadow'.
I am randomly.
I am the new age astronaut
who guides her fingers over the ascent of inter-space -
body embedded in planetskin.
I am the villain idol, when black and white threaten my sexual borders.
And if I chant Sappho to some invisible consort, I am divine.
Where I am Goddess,
my pictures describe soft candle light,
pedestal my prettiest poses.
Black outlines a perfect profile
and everything tells you, Oh, yes, this is me.
I give you poetry and prose, the perfect paragraphs,
share my mundane philosophies with final impeccable words...
I draft myself sexy, super-sharp: legs and brains, the ultimate wet dream.

As the Americanized, as the young,
I am invincible, fantastic, and should be loved for what I am
*screw* the World for its misunderstanding,
for their disbelieving that I am the twentysomethings' midnight goddess:
Perfect skin and flair,
Clever, liberal beauty with golden chestnut hair,
who sparkles her angel light only to the fancy of blank typeface people,
computer-composed.

God, when I am in their semi-realm, how Elizabeth shines.

The closet addict of illusory rooms… I must type myself remarkable,
must redeem my real life with these cut and paste conversations of
wannabe intellects.
I will seek them out nightly and hang them on my every word.
I write myself mysterious…  
And I can be contemptuous if I want,
I can act freely and not worry of consequence.
We are involuntarily accepting in our sub-reality,
Because we give birth to the chaos we fear outside of the box,
We open the bits of our souls too scared or drained to unsheathe themselves in daylight.
We become the impossible transients, escaping corporeal bonds, and transcend...

10 o 'clock, night settles unto its haunches.
Run my fingers over the miniature glass wall,
letting the pixel threshold inebriate me.
I sit in sickly blue and push --
with the anticipation of prom night, with the boredom of study hall --
the dull gray box (holding every universe I dare to create)
"Start Chatting".
< !signature-->

* are where more approrpiate words or phrases have been used to substitute profanities. note below...

Sorry, Elizabeth - I've edited out two profanities
Nan

No, problem  . Instead, I'm impressed by the attention you insist upon here to ensure each piece is admissible to common intrests. I didn't realize the peek-a-boo form of profanities was not allowed. Glad you caught this so quickly...

~ Beth


I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.






[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (edited 10-21-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Megs - All Rights Reserved
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

1 posted 2000-10-20 01:56 AM


"I can act freely and not worry of consequence."
How could I choose one line from such an amazing display of brutal honesty?  As far as revisions go, I would, since you asked, polish up the punctuation, other than that, I think it leaves nothing desired by the reader.
I envy you this sentence I quoted.   This is a journey of sincerity and honesty, filled with an unraveling of your soul. You're a brave girl, Elizabeth.



[This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 10-20-2000).]

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
2 posted 2000-10-20 02:04 AM


Irish Rose,
I don't know about bravery, but this certainly took an effort to write. I am terribly gratified to hear
that the honesty I compelled myself to expose is evident. (It took many restarts to clear my mind and just let sentiments flow)

I wish I was more capable to explain my gratitude for such kind, generous words.

Also, thank you so much for your suggestion...
that is certainly the area I left lacking in this piece   . When I have a final draft I'll seek you out ( and most likely Nan too   ) to ensure I've made the correct 'punctual' decisions.


~ Beth< !signature-->

I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.


[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (edited 10-20-2000).]

Broken_Winged_Angel
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994
Small Town, Somewhere
3 posted 2000-10-20 02:11 AM


Oh wow...    This had to have been hard to write.. Congratulations.
Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
5 posted 2000-10-20 02:20 AM


It was a definite test of boundaries...
Thank you, Angel.

~ Beth

I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
6 posted 2000-10-20 01:09 PM


A conondrum here - my favorite kind!!!    

Elizabeth - I commened you too on this incredible amalgamation of your cyber-soul! Duly impressed here - I could almost hear the beating rhythm as I read. That it required some effort is obvious. However - I think that many more can relate to it than just you, as it seems restricted to the "you" involved/invoked in cyber-space.

So - that leads me to question (since you prompted!) - the validity of the whole "argument." I see the precept here being that of anger at "them" not seeing who you truly are - but you also quote here that you don't show themthe "real" you... and neither do you show us - Perhaps I'm missing it - there is some intricate wording here (much appreciated btw) - but you tell us who you present, complain they don't see you, and wonder why. I have to say that given the content here - it's no wonder they don't understand you!     Perhaps another thing to look at might be including some of "you" in there, not just who you can be... knowwhatimean?

Either way - I did enjoy this particular rant - a rare treat!

Chris

ps: ms sexy & super-sharp: look me up if you want to chat!     HAHAHAHA< !signature-->

Read my Words.
Read my Face.
Don't just look at either.
-C





[This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 10-20-2000).]

Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
7 posted 2000-10-20 05:41 PM


quote:
let me know if there need to be any revisions. Thanks! ~ Beth


i will BUT ...only if you re-post in CA ....LOL   .... or a new one ..or something ....or anything ....

really excellent poetry beth - impressed here  

Philip

oh geez i nearly forgot the health warning ... here ya go ......:

FRATERNIZATION WITH CHRISTOPHER WARD MAY SERIOUSLY DAMAGE ANY REMAINING SANITY YOU MIGHT PROFESS TO POSSESS          


[This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 10-20-2000).]

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
8 posted 2000-10-20 05:46 PM


ps - Philip thinks you're cute...  
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
9 posted 2000-10-20 05:48 PM


hehe - I was writing that at the same time as you were editing... Elizabeth - as you can tell, if you look elsewhere - Philip's just jealous.  
Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
10 posted 2000-10-20 05:51 PM


Philip---missing a chance to shred someones use of english??---something is amiss here.



Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".



Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
11 posted 2000-10-20 05:53 PM


time was christopher i would've hotly denied that charge ...but this isn't "time was" ..heh .... yeah she is cute ..... but then so are:

               YOU......... heh

and btw she writes stunning poetry as well......LOL.....       

~~~~~~~~~~~

beth ...er ... about that post in CA ..... i can assure you that you won't suffer this sort of nonsense in that civilised forum...  

[This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 10-21-2000).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2000-10-20 05:56 PM


Hello, Elizabeth, I see that Heckle and Jeckle have found you....don't worry, they're harmless and actually quite fun...

I enjoyed this torrent quite a bit. And yes, the travels in "innerspace" bring out more than a few questions.  Do check out the philosophy forum or the alley--but in the meantime, I am no critic, but I thought this fabulous, and I have been impressed with your work since your entrance to the forum.
Awesome.

Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
13 posted 2000-10-20 05:57 PM


jamieeeeeee long time no see

"a miss" ......you mean beth ..yes?     

Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
14 posted 2000-10-20 05:59 PM


sheesh ......you as well MS S ..the whole gang descends ...lol ...and here was i doing a little innocent poetry readin' ...

(hey ..which reminds me ...you never did give me that second "smooch" either  )

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
15 posted 2000-10-20 06:02 PM


philip... PAY attention!!! quit looking so hard... i mean... please, philip

she posted it in CA already... long time ago... i responded to it at 8AM or somewhere around there... lost in cyberspace? *wink*

hehe   < !signature-->

Lo que eres hable tan fuerte que no oigo lo que tu dices-


[This message has been edited by doreen peri (edited 10-20-2000).]

elisaseyes
Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 196
fort worth texas
16 posted 2000-10-20 06:21 PM


i want my presence known
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
17 posted 2000-10-20 06:22 PM


hehe oops that was my wife's cookies set in there o well talk about irony


i want my presence known

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
18 posted 2000-10-20 06:26 PM


See? I told you he's jealous! He's been after me for some time now... *shaking head*

Seriously Beth - This is awesome - please don't think of our goofing around as any slight to your poem or person!

It's just so hard to find good help these days... I pay him enough.. mumble mumble...

Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
19 posted 2000-10-20 07:08 PM


yes ...sorry beth (thanks doreen btw) finally caught up with the plot and realised you are already in CA ..silly moi ... teach me to spend too much time foolin' around ..

philip

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
20 posted 2000-10-20 09:52 PM


Beth -

another male chiming in - who thinks he understands - and like Babe Buth strikes out a helluva lot - but I see a liberated - seeking female - frustrated with her choice of medium - and the lack of an equal or better challenge (I'm too old to volunteer and would be rejected anyhow seeing solipsisms like many saw Descartes as one who put 'de carte before de horse')
to summerize briefly - Like Doreen Peri (I hope she doesn't mind the comparison) I LOVE how you write. (ever if I interpreted it far from your intent)

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
21 posted 2000-10-20 10:06 PM


Beth--I think this is fabulous, personal and feeling writing...very much enjoyed!
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

22 posted 2000-10-20 10:15 PM


Beth, this is fantastic! Wonderful piece of writing!

Denise

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
23 posted 2000-10-21 03:42 AM


                             


ohmygosh... well as soon as I stop blushing I'll tangle with my replies. geees.

Okay, time for the real respone:

Christopher, I don’t mean this -- at all -- in a condescending way, but your explication is really quite far from my motivation! This is not a rant of anger (the whole screw society splurge was a sarcastic jab at young American ideals, although with undertones of frustration at misrepresentation) … simply my view of myself from a removed point of view.
  I’m amazed at the ‘personalities’ that have developed through my exploration of the cyber-semi-realm, and the truths about myself I have discovered. So this is a bit of reflection (and, I admit, a bit of self-loathing… or perhaps simply personal humbling) upon myself and others who have experienced similar effects. Especially in the respect that once you absorb yourself far enough into an area you can lose sight of what you were before your preoccupation begun – or indeed, sight of yourself! Particularly when the ‘area’ allows one to create a sub-personality different from or more glamorized than oneself.  
   This could also be summarized: internet relations can be liberating to a sometimes frightening degree.  Whew! Now that I’ve gotten that profuse spill off my chest….
I’m glad you enjoyed it… oh, and about that chat… if I’m free…catch me if you can    .

Philip, I did! I did! Sheesh…     In regards to your health warning: I don’t believe fraternization with either of you will seriously damaged any remaining sanity I profess to possess…
UNLESS you’re in the same room together! Why don’t we map out visitation rights or something?

Next four posts: ~holds face in hands and sighs~

Serenity, thanks for the encouragement     Gosh, thank you for the generous answer.

Doreen, thanks for keeping everybody in line    .

Wilfred, ~sigh~ Oh, thank you. And the diverse interpretation of poetry is its blessing…
SO happy you liked it.

Martie and Denise, thank you for your time, attention, and kind words.
Martie: Still praying for you and your situation… my heart goes out to you.
Denise: replies like this do more to encourage me than anything else. Thank you!


Thank you kindly, and those of you (and you know who you are) that need to conduct yourself
less you scare new members: BEHAVE!               

~ Beth

Beth, please note I have edited the expletive from your post, see note below. PdV




[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (edited 10-21-2000).]

Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
24 posted 2000-10-21 05:13 AM


ok ..ok..enough of the fooling around ... i'm serious now ....this is excellent poetry ..... see ya in CA where i see you've posted a pretty impressive reply  

p


[This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 10-21-2000).]

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
25 posted 2000-10-21 05:17 AM


Beth, use of asterisks to mask expletives is not allowed so Nan edited them out of the original poem and I edited one out of your last reply. If you have any questions, please contact me. Thank you!  
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
26 posted 2000-10-21 08:23 AM


I am the new age astronaut
who guides her fingers over the ascent of inter-space -
body embedded in planetskin.
I am the villain idol, when black and white threaten my sexual borders.
And if I chant Sappho to some invisible consort, I am divine.


Beth, I am not the best at summing up my feelings about poems usually relying on words such as excellent and amazing to express how much I enjoy a poem, and this poem is all of those things. but I will attempt to drag some personal thoughts out, firstly I think you have covered most of the major aspects of exploring ones inner self, there are so many layers and trying to figure yourself out is like chasing your tail. Thank you for taking us on a voyage deep into your soul, I found myself relating to all the fears and hopes,

"As the Americanized, as the young,
I am invincible, fantastic, and should be loved for what I am *screw* the World for its misunderstanding,
for their disbelieving that I am the twentysomethings' midnight goddess:
Perfect skin and flair,
Clever, liberal beauty with golden chestnut hair,
who sparkles her angel light only to the fancy of blank typeface people,
computer-composed".  

This part especially spoke to me, ok I give up I can't express fully what this poem made me feel, but thank you for sharing this stunning piece of poetry. Another for the library.

"an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree
the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women".
Patti Smith

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
27 posted 2000-10-21 11:44 AM


darn - and i was doing so good at looking like I was smart or something!   It's ok Beth - seriously - I believe there is no such thing as an incorrect interpretation as long as someone takes the time to read it. Obviously I read this colored by my own experiences. Either way - I still maintain that your word choice and usage alone would make this worth reading - the implied or exact meaning is merely icing on the proverbial cake!  

note to Philip: hahahaha Visitation rights.. hehehe - you'll be asleep when she's up and vice versa - hahahahahahahahahahaha  

Read my Words.
Read my Face.
Don't just look at either.
-C


Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
28 posted 2000-10-23 11:31 AM


Is it me or do I sense something in here. Hmmmmm.... Though thee suppress in calliope's cope, of polyhymnia in disguise.  You are Iris. You are Hera. You are aphrodite. Beauty pine their eyes.

Hmmmm. ... Maybe I'm wrong about what I've sensed.  I deeply apologize to whom I've offended.

But you Elizabeth, you never cease to amaze me.  Your words flow like the Amazon, strong and forceful(said in a good way).  Words flow like the Danube, beautiful in any way.  

Maybe I should start calling you Mrs. Webster...you are a walking encyclopedia, a walking thesaurus, etc......

I'm going to the book store to buy one, need to check on some of the words you use...I don't know what they mean....My vocabulary is not the wide, dumb me  

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
29 posted 2000-10-23 08:55 PM


If I may add Elizabeth, I just came back from the bookstore  

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
30 posted 2000-10-24 04:33 AM


Brian, if you expressed it any more finely, I wouldn’t be able to conjure up words for a reply! THANK YOU!

Chris, It’s okay, I didn’t think you were all that smart in the first place  … glad you’re so excited about the quality time issue   Does that mean you’re like the live-in parent and philip gets me on weekends?  
p.s. icing on the proverbial cake? Exactly what would THAT taste like? Heheheh

Acire, MY vocabulary is certainly not the wide… gosh, thank you for such resolute, explicit metaphors… But I wouldn’t say my writing is like the Amazon in any way except that it never seems to stop..  
p.s. Are you going to start keeping a journal in here?   (i.e., Hi, Beth! Just got back from the grocery store; I bought PEANUT BUTTER! … just wanted to let you know.)


And as much as I appreciate the comments, attention, and genuine reactionary responses, you guys are killin’ me!     OOOoooo I know I'm going to get stoned for this, but I swear you guys are turning this into a chat room! ~ducks~

~ a very playful Beth

                

< !signature-->

I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.



[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (edited 10-24-2000).]

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #10 » playing goddess

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary