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Open Poetry #10
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azure
Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 52


0 posted 2000-10-17 02:48 PM


vacant, curled-up, shrouded sobbing wearily
locked in your room shades pulled drinking
in bed all night long
devoured by your strange dreams your
door flung wildly open screaming fading out sleeping
days on end terrified of the moon her careless ways
and could not change you suffocated
me crying draining waiting for the end waiting
for you to -

please god something other than this
common dim house dishes piled in sink checkered tablecloth smell of sadness on everything on your
shoes in my hair I
sleep rocking huddled on the couch alone & still see you
misery coming through the ceiling so delicate it
makes me love you this precious mess know you're
still somewhere on this sinking ship
clung to the memory of
it wasn't always this -

your endless silence love one day changing
causeless lost your mind forced into
an absract version of yourself
retired slowly into your eyes
abandoned by ghosts you're not over

you sung your agony in open choirs weeping hysterical
struggling between who you are, who you have been

© Copyright 2000 azure - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2000-10-17 03:59 PM


Azure~ this is amazing, I wish I could write like this.....   -SEA
azure
Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 52

2 posted 2000-10-17 04:12 PM


SEA -
Wow, thank you.  That's the best kind of compliment a writer can get.  I appreciate it.

Azure
"I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much" - Sandra Cisneros

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2000-10-17 04:12 PM


I wish I didn't know about this one---a poignant powerful read---still trying to get my breath back---this is stunning.
Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

4 posted 2000-10-17 05:19 PM


wow, this is incredible, love your writing, this reeks sadness, but so beautifully so powerfully...great work
ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727
Wisconsin
5 posted 2000-10-17 06:43 PM


Well, I'll tell you one thing I have learned from reading these couple from you so far...  You structure your work in such a fashion that the reader really has to concentrate to read it all the way through and be able to understand it, which makes it all seem so much real because it requires your full attention.  I really like this about your work, contrary to what you thought    very nice

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.



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