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Open Poetry #10
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Pungent Swells of Summer Rain
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Pungent Swells of Summer Rain |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments 
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~*~I was bored, so I made up my own rhyme scheme here...and this is what I came up with. < !signature--> ~*~Pungent swells of summer rain Disperse on tranquil air Sparkling soft with mild grace And lighting pathways fair... Lord, let me possess no disdain. I listen here to a calm forebear Who’s wisdom molds this place Of him, a mortal God, I dream And into eternity I’ll chase... Yes, to dance on the edge I’ll dare. On diamond waters I see his face Azure blue within the gleam I wonder if he’ll ever know But in his eyes he does, it seems... And looking ‘pon him, my heart does race. “Darling, you are as the moonbeams, For with a tender light you glow.” A whisper of his melodious voice Lifts me quietly from woe For now our love has been redeemed. But then my heart felt a crushing blow For once, he had made a tragic choice To surrender himself to darkness... And no longer may I rejoice For our love is not free to grow. The pungent swells of summer rain Through my heavy spirit flair Thoughts hang heavy, like bloody lace Because a soul mate is so rare... But Lord, I will possess no disdain. *Krista Knutson* "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." Helen Keller [This message has been edited by Alwye (edited 10-16-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Krista Botterill - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
I have to admit that I was not ready for the ending as the first verses really had me smiling for you and them the walls of joy just seemed to collapse around me. Wonderfully penned and so full of great imagery and emotion. |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
This was a beautiful poem, Krista! I love the story you've woven here. A great tale with your ever present and exquisite imagery. Loved this muchly, precious Abrahm Simons "Drained and blue I bleed for you You think it's funny, well You're drowning in it too" - Alice In Chains |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Alwye, a splendid write and especially like the way you spun the tale... Coco |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
On diamond waters I see his face Azure blue within the gleam I wonder if he’ll ever know But in his eyes he does, it seems... And looking ‘pon him, my heart does race. “Darling, you are as the moonbeams, For with a tender light you glow.” A whisper of his melodious voice Lifts me quietly from woe For now our love has been redeemed. ======================= well my bored lil genius... your rhyme scheme rocks.... read this one aloud... its got melody kissed cadence... and the waft of your weave ... wondeful   AWESOME write K ... had to just smile while i was reading this... you must be rubbing off on me ... when you read my new one.. you will understand .. later-sweet-queen-of-imagery-gator jm |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
"queen of imagery" indeed! awesome poem here Krista, I just love to read you Maree "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this won't be enough" "Maree Russo" |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Thank you all so much, you've got me smiling! *Krista Knutson* "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." Helen Keller |
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