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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2000-10-16 04:41 PM


(from Adult and cleaned up a bit for Open   )


Toe entered in the doctor's room,
His face was pure despair.
He held his hat tight in his hands,
His eyes glanced everywhere.

He said, "Doc, this is hard for me
To stand in front of you
With hopes to find a remedy
Or see what you can do."

"You have to make a promise first
For you and all your staff
Regarding what I show to you,
That none of you will laugh."

"Toerag", the kindly doctor said,
"There's nothing here to fear.
We're all professionals, we are.
Pray tell, what brought you here?"

So Toerag then undid his belt.
His pants fell to the floor.
He stood there, naked from the waist,
Embarrased to the core.

He had the smallest aperture
That the doc had ever seen!
Short-microscopic- in its size
With little jelly beans!

A vienna sausage was monstruous
Compared to Toerag's thing.
Don't get me wrong, but that small dong
Could wear a pinky ring!

The doctor tried to hide his smile;
His face began to break.
He tried to act professional
But knees began to shake!

It finally was too much for him.
He shed his calm disguise.
He let out with a cackle -
Tears came streaming from his eyes!

He doubled over, hit the floor,
And then he started rollin'.
He managed to say,"So, what is wrong?"
Then Toerag said, "It's swollen."


© Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
1 posted 2000-10-16 04:51 PM


ooh.... that one was below the belt....     rofl

[This message has been edited by Local Rebel (edited 10-16-2000).]

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
2 posted 2000-10-16 05:20 PM


Rollin... rollin... rollin... on the floor... laughin... laughin... laughin.  And here I thought is was something serious like cranial rectaltitis.  You know Toe has a plexi-glass stomach so he can see out.     he...he... he

Nice shot Sir Balladeer... just let me know if you need any help against the fruit... always willing to fight a produce war.  This is General Andrew Scott... roger and out!

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
3 posted 2000-10-16 06:47 PM


I'm sure this was very funny but being the
lady that I am I couldn't bring myself to
read past the third line....ROFL....ya right
Loved it!

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
4 posted 2000-10-16 07:48 PM


I had to come out of my sabbatical long enough to say that no only was it swollen, but it had never been UN-swollen.  Great TRUE story, 'Deer.
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
5 posted 2000-10-16 08:09 PM


ROFL!!! You're baaaaack, and in fine form Balladeer ... glad I didn't read THIS one at the office, oh Lordy, LOL!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

6 posted 2000-10-16 08:29 PM


ROFL   Gasping for breath, tears streaming from my eyes! Hilarious!!

Denise

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2000-10-17 12:51 PM


Balladeer !
Now that was a low blow -
even for poor TOE !  

*Snicker*
*Snicker*
~*Marge*~




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
8 posted 2000-10-17 03:14 AM


'deer,
you are the limit which is apparently more than you can say about Toerag. Maybe that makes him the limit-less. ROFL.
Kethry


Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
Gail Sheehy

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2000-10-17 03:21 AM


OMIGAWD!!!! THIS IS FUNNY, FUNNY, SH,ER-- SHIRT.....YEAH, THAT'S IT.  Just when I thought it was safe, to enter the forum, frowning....LOL...y'made me literally laugh out loud...sigh...now I'm gonna be in trouble...(but it is SO MUCH fun...)
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
10 posted 2000-10-17 06:55 AM


I'm never gonna eat another jelly bean again without laughing...ROFL

HUSG

inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
11 posted 2000-10-17 11:18 AM


Balladeer, I'm in shock, I didn't think a man would make fun of another mans private parts. Besides, us women know it's not how much you have as long as you know how to use what you got.  
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

12 posted 2000-10-17 12:59 PM


"He said, "Doc, this is hard for me"

This was very funny, good to see you here again, this was my favorite line  

Kathleen



Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston
13 posted 2000-10-17 07:36 PM


Though months might keep me from the halls of the forum.. I see that not much has changed.. giggle.. sorry Toe.. it was funny.

Just what I needed to see on my return visit. Hope all is well with everyone ..

Hugs
Lucie

Poet's Sister
Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 80
North Carolina
14 posted 2000-10-17 07:51 PM


     Just sitting here grinning.  Funny and well written with the LITTLE twist at the end!!!
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
15 posted 2000-10-17 08:04 PM


Lt Lucie... Well my oh my!  How wonderful to know that you are still running about the halls.  Truth is, Toe just recently resurfaced and took a few pot-shots at the 'Deer.  Mr. B is just returning the favor.  Will it turn into the great produce war of Forum 2 & 3... who can say. But I'm ready to raise the flag and charge the mellon patch should the call come to squash that fruit lovin' Toe.  Hope to see you around. Out!

PS.  Yo Bro Toe... ya know we love ya, so come out and play!  

[This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (edited 10-17-2000).]

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

16 posted 2000-10-17 08:12 PM


OH MAN!!!!!LOL...
talk about your poetic low blows...
you boys of banter are BAAAAAD
and its SOOOOOO  GOOOOD    
well ya know if were gonna take the forums down..
we might as well do it with a moderator in the lead LOL ....
thanks for the laugh Deer... I needed one tonite ..
they say paybacks are hell.. or is that SWELL

later-hitting below the belt gator
jm

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
17 posted 2000-10-17 08:23 PM


From tears of joy after reading of a mother's love to laughing my cowboy "arse"(can I say it that way Mr. Moderator?) off.  You my friend came back in style and I feel the forums will never be the same after this piece settles in.  
Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
18 posted 2000-10-17 08:43 PM


some go from bad to worse - but 'deer goes with verse to bad  rotflmaoprdml
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
19 posted 2000-10-17 08:52 PM


I'd say he had this one coming.

Nuff Said.

Corinne

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
20 posted 2000-10-18 02:14 PM


I remember this! *S* And how I miss the days when retaliation was instant! *S*
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
21 posted 2000-10-18 06:26 PM


Yes, yes Lady Suthern... How I miss them too.  Ya think there's any way you can drag the menace back into our midst for a game or two of "toss the melon?"  It tis the season and the pumpkins are feeling neglected.    
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
22 posted 2000-10-22 10:19 AM


Lucie? Andy Scott?....old timers! Now isn't Balladeer just special!! Kinda like passing gas when ya got a terrible stomach ache!...Okay, I remember this.....can't imagine why, but I can recall sometimes yanno....but you will get yours again, (and again and again and again).....LOL
Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
23 posted 2000-10-23 06:42 PM


OMG.....almost missed this one....LMAO

oh my..my...still laughing.....a great one to end the night here...
thanks for sharing this with us.....



take care *giggle*

Charisma


Dee
Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia
24 posted 2000-10-23 06:54 PM



Looking forward to the reply to this one!
Dee

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
25 posted 2000-10-23 08:07 PM


OMG! ROFLMAO!!  This was hillarious!
Sorry Toe buddy, but I'm laughing, laughing, laughing!  

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
26 posted 2000-10-23 08:35 PM


Ho-ho-ho... good friend Toe, how good to hear from you... rest assured that I always get mine... but don't go thinging you'll ever be the one giving.  
Best you just "stick" to your pumpkins.  Peace!

[This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (edited 10-23-2000).]

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