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Open Poetry #10
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SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396


0 posted 2000-10-15 09:06 PM


Copper Pots Swirled Empty Through

Copper pots swirled empty through
and all things red aside,
with floors of wet secreted lies
from tile's pourous hide.

Away, away she drifted off
to lands of papered breeze,
to yellow stones and freckled earth
to leafless angular trees.

Sifting through the tempered skies
of cloudings of the past,
she's choking there on bellowed signs
of memories aghast.

And copper pots swirled empty through
litter limit's ties,
and echo tears of weighted fears
seeping from her eyes.




[This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 10-15-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2000-10-15 09:18 PM


I love the surrealistic images your work evokes---I've not seen you around as much and have missed you...and work like this is why...a thoughtful rendering...I enjoyed it much.
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

2 posted 2000-10-16 10:36 AM


~I got lost somewhere   .

~Thanks babe for always taking the time to read my words. Your reply has made me smile.   Take care S. *Peace.

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
3 posted 2000-10-16 12:23 PM


Hey there kiddo - we all get lost along the way sometimes, eh? You're not alone in that!

You've busted out with a good mix of metaphors and alliteration. It works well, tying the ending up with the repetitious statement which began it. I really enjoy the way this flowed off my mental tongue... smooth and unforced.

to yellow stones and freckled earth

This line really caught my attention!  

Peace,

C

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
4 posted 2000-10-16 12:25 PM


i didnt know you were a metalhead o well yuh great poem yuh
ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806

5 posted 2000-10-16 01:02 PM


this is outstanding ...
insect
Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014

6 posted 2000-10-17 08:30 PM


Hi SpitFire
Love Copper Pots……….
We wouldn't want to lose you again so
if you press this button "
A MAP "
will show up down there v
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"A MAP"
See! ^
He! He!
Well anyway I hope I gave you a smile
like this


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