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Open Poetry #10
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Jhonbus
Junior Member
since 2000-10-12
Posts 25
Sheffield UK

0 posted 2000-10-15 08:32 PM


For some reason, I really like rain. Although most people say it makes them feel depressed, it makes me feel happy.
----

Slabs of stone
once square and true
over time,
worn down by rain and foot

Here and there pools of water collect
in hollow bowls carved
by the sculptor that is time
beauty in agony

I walk on looking down,
stepping over a slab worn through so far
the bowls joined to form a crack
the stone dead, its beauty shattered

As the rain falls it flows upon the stone
forming pools here and there
a stream flows among the gaps
polishing smooth the edges

And there, a pebble
a time-smoothed sliver of a larger stone
rests awhile upon a beach of rock
catching its breath, its journey paused

But the rain pours down
the roar of water
drowning out the pebble's plea
afraid to move from its dry sanctuary

The stream rises, as i watch
a flow contained within a footpath's cracks
to the pebble, a raging torrent
the water hits it, the pebble moving once more

Its fate, like that of a myriad existences
to be worn away completely
by the gentle caress
the savage buffeting of time

The pebble's destiny sealed
reluctantly i break my own brief interlude
and continue along the stone-bed path
wearing it away with my steps as i go



http://www.geocities.com/i_love_you_so_much_c/

© Copyright 2000 John Ratcliffe - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2000-10-15 08:37 PM


reads like a guided meditation--very peaceful and soothing...I enjoyed the view through your mind's eye...and I wouldn't mind a bit of rain myself right now...lovely work!
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
2 posted 2000-10-15 08:46 PM


Definitely the mark of a poet here...it's a terrific idea for a poem and then to be able to write it out so deftly is very impressive....well done.
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
3 posted 2000-10-16 04:19 PM


Wow J, you've really broadened my perspective on the beauty of stones....this is excellent work as it would bring a smile to Mother Nature's face.
Take care,

Nathan

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

4 posted 2000-10-16 04:25 PM


I love the rain too..mostly when i dont have to go out and can just listen to it dance outside my window.. enjoyed

                       ~Victoria~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)

Jhonbus
Junior Member
since 2000-10-12
Posts 25
Sheffield UK
5 posted 2000-10-16 05:42 PM


Serenity - Peaceful and soothing? I think that is the same reason I like the rain, the sound of it falling is exactly that. And i'm glad you liked it.

Balladeer - Well, the words "Definitely the mark of a poet here" and "impressive", coming from you, someone whose poetry is well loved and respected by me and many others, is flattering indeed   Thanks a lot!

Nate - I hope it brought a smile to your face as it would to mother Nature's, thanks for the comments

Victoria - Yes, listening to it dance outside, in the trees and on the gravel, is nicer than being out in it  

http://www.geocities.com/i_love_you_so_much_c/

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2000-10-17 12:46 PM


JhonBus~
What a wonderful perspective you have.
I'm quite impressed with the imagery here.

'Here and there pools of water collect
in hollow bowls carved
by the sculptor that is time'


and then this -

'And there, a pebble
a time-smoothed sliver of a larger stone
rests awhile upon a beach of rock
catching its breath, its journey paused'


Very, very well written.
~*Marge*~




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

7 posted 2002-09-04 12:35 PM


Jhonbus,
Bloody excellent writing. I love the rain,
too.

Mike

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2003-01-14 02:47 AM


awesome write!
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