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Open Poetry #10
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Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095


0 posted 2000-10-15 06:34 AM



The red hand
sweeps away minutes
over lonely roman figures
that stand
to attention encased
in a fortress round
and bold

the outside
lemon painted walls
resemble sandy
desert plains

but this wall
this floor
holds whispers of
"sadness
madness"
laughter and joy

bodies twitch
gums slap
eye's dance doing the
cha cha cha over the aroma
of coffee brewing
while golden piano favourites
stirs in the background
gently

entranced
I am seduced
lulled into serenity
as time goes by

my eyes
rise
to the lonely
time teller on the wall
12 Roman figures
stand to attention

still

Angel of Darkness
15/10/2000




"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

© Copyright 2000 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved
Robert Joseph
Member
since 2000-10-07
Posts 491
South Carolina
1 posted 2000-10-15 07:01 AM


Dark Angel, enjoyable reading! You painted a picture, drew me into your words, and caused me to reflect on what you were saying. Very Good!

Robert Joseph

[This message has been edited by Robert Joseph (edited 10-15-2000).]

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
2 posted 2000-10-15 02:49 PM


how those Roman figures rule our lives
standing and looking over all
looking
        knowing
                hearing

wonderful Maree. . . just wonderful. . .

-----------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Trew
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Ottawa, Canada
3 posted 2000-10-16 09:47 AM


I've said it before...
My favourite poems are literary snapshots.  The kind that stop time for a moment and look a little closer.
A wonderful example of this, Dark Angel, I'm glad I looked back and found this one!

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

4 posted 2000-10-16 02:16 PM


I tell you, music is alive here at Passions, wonderful poem, Dark Angel, just great.

Kathleen



Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

5 posted 2000-10-16 05:19 PM


RJ, thank you so much  

Rule our lives, indeed they do! Thank you Sven  

Thank you Trew, I'm glad you like it  

Kathleen, thank you hon  

"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
6 posted 2000-10-16 05:56 PM


An interesting picture of time captured solitude.  I particularly like the way you describe the clock.  Thanks for sharing.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2000-10-16 06:01 PM


Very descriptive writing of local and mood...James
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2000-10-16 06:02 PM


I know these slow nights well...I love your detailed flowing descriptions Dark Angel...you've a talent for bringing the reader with you into your mind...nice, nice work!
Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
9 posted 2000-10-16 06:21 PM


Maree

just caught this before i crash out!  ..lol

"The red hand
sweeps away minutes"

excellent excellent opening, nice to come back to  

later

night night

MP

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
10 posted 2000-10-16 10:30 PM


Glad I caught this one as well - not that I know anything about this...  

C

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
11 posted 2000-10-16 11:49 PM


great word play DA and you said you were the worst excuse for a poet on the forums this proves by far that yur not the worst. (ok you didnt say that and i love the poem and yur great yuh yuh yuh)
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

12 posted 2000-10-17 01:30 AM


Andrew, glad you liked   and thanks for reading  

James thank you so much  

Serenity, thank you hon   you pay me a lovely compliment  

hey MP Welcome back hon, missed you so much   Thank you so much for reading and your lovely reply  
MM

Thanks for stopping by and reading Chris  

Walty LOL, thanks buddy and you're great too yuh yuh yuh!  

"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

13 posted 2000-10-17 07:11 AM


Mmy, lately your work has incorporated a haunting quality into it that the melancholic in me adores...

yet I hate to know you are sad also.

Many warm hugs dearest AOL...

and this poem is awesome - the imagery, the topic.
You freeverser you....  

K




"He looked across the
silky surface of the Severn...
it was a famously difficult
river with fierce tides..."


From Jack Maggs


Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
14 posted 2000-10-17 07:18 AM


Dark Angel,
time took a backward step while I read this poem, which is great imagery. I can almost hear the clock ticking. Tick tock tick...click another minute passes.
Be well
Kethry


Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
Gail Sheehy

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