navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #10 » How Can I Say Good-bye
Open Poetry #10
Post A Reply Post New Topic How Can I Say Good-bye Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2000-10-14 10:17 AM


How Can I Say Good-bye

Would you have me say good-bye
On such a night as this
With rings of love strung round the moon
And into star’s abyss

The winds are warm, the evening young
The moment’s right for love
And little stars are flirting with us
In the sea above

The cricket chirps, the night owl hoots
The earth goes round again
How can we stop life’s yearning
With a word of sudden end

Good-bye is such a heavy song
To ooze from out this heart
A requiem to mark the tides
That force two souls apart

How can my lips voice sorrow’s wake
Through yearnings of a kiss
How can you have me say good-bye
On such a night as this

Elizabeth Santos

© Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2000-10-14 10:22 AM


Elizabeth, my friend~
What a lovely, lovely write.

'Would you have me say good-bye
On such a night as this
With rings of love strung round the moon
And into star’s abyss'


Oozes with the beauty of the night
and wanting to hold it forever.

*Hugs* to you, sweet poet.
Love you~
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2000-10-14 10:30 AM


Liz--there is no perfect time for goodbye is there...there will always be something too beautiful to be missed by two...Beautifully written, dear Liz...as all your poetry is.
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
3 posted 2000-10-14 10:31 AM


"Good-bye is such a heavy song
To ooze from out this heart
A requiem to mark the tides
That force two souls apart"

What a beautiful, flowing read Liz ... you've painted such an exquisite night, and indeed, it would be difficult to say good-bye amidst such wondrous sights and emotions. Beautiful theme!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

4 posted 2000-10-14 10:39 AM


This is beautifully done, very touching, Elizabeth.

Denise

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2000-10-14 11:50 AM


Elizabeth,
An exquisite good-bye. Sy

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
6 posted 2000-10-14 11:56 AM


Never should there be a good-bye when the beauty around you can still be seen.  That alone tells you that the good-bye is wrong otherwise you would never see between the tears.  Excellent write.
Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho
7 posted 2000-10-14 12:07 PM


Heartrendingly beautiful.  My prayers are with you, as I wonder how it's going.



The spiritual wind that holds survivors aloft, plants the seeds from which bloom new hope ... R.J.G.


Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
8 posted 2000-10-14 01:30 PM


You shouldn't even try, my friend... Such words aren't necessary - Perhaps - "Until later..."?
The Lonely Stranger
Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 361
Upstate, NY, USA
9 posted 2000-10-14 01:45 PM


Liz,


BRAVO !! This is a wonderful poem with picturesque description and wonderful meter.

This gets my special tribute to poems that conduct emotion like electricity from one heart to another. My heart to heart award:


To

[This message has been edited by The Lonely Stranger (edited 10-14-2000).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2000-10-14 04:29 PM


This is trademark beauty from you, Liz...
gave me little chills...sad, and sweet and brimming over with love!

lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
11 posted 2000-10-14 04:40 PM


Love and Prayers,
dale



Writing isn't just something I do, it's something I am.
To write of feelings that touch all hearts in some manner is my delight.
-Marge Tindal

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
12 posted 2000-10-14 04:43 PM


Lovely writing...James
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

13 posted 2000-10-14 04:58 PM


This is lovely, I like the way it was expressed and everything about it.  

Kathleen


EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
14 posted 2000-10-14 05:42 PM


I have always found goodbye to be the hardest word to say, wonderful writing.

"The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest"
~ My Angel.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
15 posted 2000-10-14 06:44 PM


I can almost hear Robert Goulet singing....

Mrs. Santos...you are an amazing woman..

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
16 posted 2000-10-14 07:05 PM


Thank you all very much for the remarks.
Actually,  Balladeer, I env1sion Ricky Martin singing that refrain
Your comments were all very kind
Thanks
Liz

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
17 posted 2000-10-14 09:06 PM


Good evening Elizabeth,
Very well done, and very touching. I'm glad I came by, to read and enjoy what you have written.

Bill

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
18 posted 2000-10-15 12:20 PM


That you can be so heartfelt AND do wonderful meter, flow and rhyme - never ceases to astound me - whatever truth lies in these words - You have my prayers - there's no easy answers

~You have to have a dream so you can get up in the morning.

~ Billy Wilder

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

19 posted 2000-10-15 01:00 AM


Would you have me say good-bye
On such a night as this
With rings of love strung round the moon
And into star’s abyss

The winds are warm, the evening young
The moment’s right for love
And little stars are flirting with us
In the sea above
==============
oh Lizzie what gorgeous, wonderful imagery..
all dressed up in your gift of cadence
and perfect rhyme flow..
and the bittersweet emotions tug at the heartstrings with poetic grace..
poetry in motion my sweet friend ...you are
jm

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
20 posted 2000-10-16 01:26 AM


This is has such a wonderful rhythm... and Liz, your imagery! A few favorite lines:

Would you have me say good-bye
On such a night as this
With rings of love strung round the moon
And into star’s abyss

A requiem to mark the tides
That force two souls apart

Very heatfelt.

~ Beth

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
21 posted 2000-10-16 06:30 AM


Bill, Thanks for reading and for your kind remarks

Wilfred, Your comments are warming. Thanks you so much

Jm, Thanks, dear, For all those kind words

Elizabeth. I wish I had an ounce of the gift of imagery from your poetic mind. Thank you so much for your comments

Liz

Broken_Winged_Angel
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994
Small Town, Somewhere
22 posted 2000-10-16 06:34 AM


The first two lines had me hooked...and I loved the whole poem... Once again you've created a masterpiece...  

With a little piece of tomorrow,
You'll have to kiss yesterday goodbye.
Because today won't last forever,
And the past will only make you cry.

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
23 posted 2000-10-16 10:20 AM


Elizabeth--

this is beautiful! stunning images and feelings you have captured here. i love the peace and traquility of the poem. but i also like the quite intensity that is echoed with each line. wonderful job. my favorite stanza is below...but the whole piece was wonderful!Good-bye is such a heavy song
"To ooze from out this heart
A requiem to mark the tides
That force two souls apart

How can my lips voice sorrow’s wake
Through yearnings of a kiss
How can you have me say good-bye
On such a night as this"


suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
24 posted 2000-10-16 10:34 AM


This is beautiful, Elizabeth...
Trew
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Ottawa, Canada
25 posted 2000-10-16 10:45 AM


One almost hopes for pathetic fallacy at times like the one you describe.
Be it a funeral on a sunny day, or a goodbye on a perfect night, it seems to hurt a little more.
Such a melodious and graceful poem!

FlyHigh
Member
since 2000-06-21
Posts 84
Bekkestua, Norway
26 posted 2000-11-06 04:44 PM


So nicely written. And it brings tears in my eyes.. I have said goodbye, and it's to darn hard.

gJ

--
"Luck affects everything. Let your hook always be cast; in the stream where you least expect it there will be a fish."
Ovid (BC 43-18 AD)


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #10 » How Can I Say Good-bye

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary