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Open Poetry #10
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ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727
Wisconsin

0 posted 2000-10-12 01:10 AM


The way it makes me feel
the trembling within
my twisted fate revealed
to pure to not be sin

The way it makes me shake
and quiver with the thought
my senses overtake
the boundries they were taught

Such powers now entangled
in this mind of endless life
where darkness once was strangled
and dreams were those of light

I shudder at the churning
the sound that silence makes
I lay before the yearning
where once there was a quake

The breath between two teardrops
connected by a blink
reflection in the mirror stops
then gives an earie wink

Lay down before my shadow
as it walks the other way
then stops before the plateau
and kneels down to pray

A light shown down upon it
yet never did it fade
then I saw reflections on it
of me in my past days

I walked up close to touch this
as it turned and looked at me
then took me down and placed a kiss
and said "Look... you will see..."

I joined my shadow with closed eyes
and said a little prayer
to send a blessing in disguise
...re-teach me how to care

Open my eyes, my shadow shown
upon the ground before me
a warm and gentle breeze had blown
within the light around me.

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.



© Copyright 2000 B.J.Howe - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2000-10-12 01:26 AM


Thunderkyss~ LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!!!! Fantastic.   -SEA
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2000-10-12 04:12 AM


I love the spirit in this,,,and you've a natural flair for meter...well done, m'friend.  I think a sonnet would suit you so well...*winks* luvie
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
3 posted 2000-10-12 07:32 AM


This is pure perfection! So soft and beautiful with a quiet sadness...

The breath between two teardrops
connected by a blink

I loved this line...excellent work~

ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727
Wisconsin
4 posted 2000-10-12 03:30 PM


SEA ~ Thank you so much.

Serenity ~ Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it  

Butterflies_dont_cry ~ Thank you so much    I wanted to write something a little different, something off my normal beaten path... a bit twisted, a bit weird, with a funny turn at the end.  I dont know, have to try some more maybe    LOL  Thanks again.

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.



Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

5 posted 2000-10-12 03:33 PM


loved it Thunderkyss..very nice rhythm too..

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)

ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727
Wisconsin
6 posted 2000-10-13 06:28 PM


Victoria ~ Thank you    I am glad you enjoyed.

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.



Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2000-10-13 08:48 PM


ThUnDeRkYsS~
Quite a nice write, my friend.

'Lay down before my shadow
as it walks the other way
then stops before the plateau
and kneels down to pray'


I particularly liked this.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
8 posted 2000-10-13 09:49 PM


Bravo.....Hats off to you ThUnDeRkYsS.
Not only did this piece have good meter it spoke to me in multitude!
Excellent work, and I even love your quote!  


~Sheri

"The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first"

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

9 posted 2000-10-13 10:23 PM


I don't think I've replied to your poetry yet, what's wrong with me?  The meter is wonderful in this one, very nice flow.

Kathleen


Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
10 posted 2000-10-13 11:59 PM


Wow! I loved it!!! So many fabulous lines here... But I believe this is my favorite:

my senses overtake
the boundries they were taught

Quite a new take on "chasing shadows"... I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this.

ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727
Wisconsin
11 posted 2000-10-14 07:33 PM


Marge ~ Thank you very kindly for your kind words, much appreciated.

Irie ~ Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it  

Irish Rose ~ Thank you, probably because I haven't been around for a while :P lol

Elizabeth Cor ~ Thank you much, I cant tell you and everyone else how much your kind replies mean to me as well      Thanks again.

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.



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