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Open Poetry #10
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Charisma
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lost in blue pages

0 posted 2000-10-11 08:42 AM


WHY?

Why,
can't I leave it behind,
searching for answers, that I never will find,
allready released the heartpain in me,
only these questions are teasing me frequently.

Why,
have you abused my ability,
were you playing a game with my naivity,
while I trusted you with every sence in my heart,
and never aspected this awesome reward.

Why,
haven't I seen the lies in your eyes,
can't understand that my suspicion weren't arise,
would never know, if you ever been probity with me,
doubting about it, would never know that certainly.

Why,
was I a fool, and being so blind,
and let these why's still teasing my mind,
should it help or should it really matter,
knowing the answers, could that make me feel better.

why,
should that be an open question for me,
can't I release it, somehow I must set me free,
hope that the truth will come out another day.
but life doesn't stop, so I must follow my own way,

Still don't find a reason, still don't know why,
can't find the answer, why you made up such a lie,
So I made my decision and will tell you the true,
will stop looking for answers, and that I stop... loving you.

Charisma

© Copyright 2000 Theresia A. Makatita-Poortman - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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with you
1 posted 2000-10-11 09:27 AM


Charisma~ this is very sad, I always want to know why too, but sometimes the knowing hurts more than the questioning. Loved the poem.   -SEA
inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
2 posted 2000-10-11 10:35 AM


Don't worry about the Why.
Just start living for yourself.
Very good poem filled with emotion.

Temptress
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since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
3 posted 2000-10-11 05:03 PM


Don't dwell on why. YOu will never have the answer until it wants to come to you. And it may never come..trust me. Nice work here.
Though provoking.


My name isn't Baby, and I don't want to cyber.

Sven
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East Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2000-10-11 07:20 PM


I agree with Temptress. . . don't ever wonder why. . .you'll never find the answer. . .just let go. . . it's hard. . .

Excellent. . .

-----------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


White Wolf
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since 1999-09-18
Posts 371
Somewhere in the vast wasteland
5 posted 2000-10-11 08:27 PM


I must say that I slightly dissagree with the rest.  I admit that sometimes the question "why?" may never be answered but sometimes it is that by knowing why we can the heal ourselves more effectively.  It may hurt more to know why but the answer always comes to us whether we like them or not.  For me I would rather have more pain and know why and start the permanent healing process than to not know why have the pain subside until the answer comes to us and it hurts us even more.  Trust me when I say I know from experience.  Too many of them if you ask me.  So if you look hard enough and sometimes long enough you will find the answers you are looking for.  Anyway this is enough of that.  One last thing is that if you remember my response to your poem about your daughter, I wrote a poem, I found in the last couple of days, that describes my feelings and discoveries regaurding my situation with my father.  I hope you enjoy it.  I will be reposting it in Open 10 in a few moments with the name "My Life(Repost for Charisma)".  Stay well and have a wonderful day.

The White Wolf

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
6 posted 2000-10-11 10:32 PM


I can indeed relate to this one quite well
as I look into the "why's" of everything
deeply...knowing there must be a
reason...great writing!!!

Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
7 posted 2000-10-11 11:34 PM


Charisma-I understand the hurt that can come from the why, but sometimes you do need to ask so you can go on and heal.  The answer may not always be the appropriate one, but so as long as you ask you know you can still feel and sometimes that is better than apathy.  You write a very profound question with heartfelt emotion.  I liked.
Rosebud1229
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since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813
North Carolina
8 posted 2000-10-11 11:40 PM


we sometimes never do know why someone could hurt someone who gives so much love unselfishly and then they turn and lie as if it's so easy to do maybe that is it, it's just so much of that kind of person it comes easy to them, the only thing I can tell you is your better off without them.
Daniel J D
Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471
Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia
9 posted 2000-10-12 01:18 AM


A wonderful poem clearly showing the will to find reasons. My heart goes with you.



Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
10 posted 2000-10-12 05:01 AM


Sometimes it "IS" best to not no why but instead focus on the why not for your future happiness and just go make it happen.
Charisma
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11 posted 2000-10-12 05:04 AM


Thank you all for your reply, I wrote "why", cause the last two years several things happenend with me and my family, several times my naivity was abused by different persons.
And well I am always trying to find a why, so that we can learn from it.

Sea: thank you for your kind words, I know what you mean, and probable you are right.

Inot2B: I will do, but I always try to learn from a why too, thank you for your reply.

Temptress: thank you, I will not dwell on why, and I will wait for the answer, it will come when the time is there, Im quit positive in that. but for now, I will leave it behind.

Sven:   thank you, I will let it rest, for now.

White Wolf: I agree with you, when time is there, the answers will come, and even if it hurts more than the why, you can start to heal.
and yes I remember your post quit well, cause it gives me hope for the future. I will certainly look out for your poem "my life"
(((hug))) and thank you for your reply.

Butterflies don't cry: thank you for your reply.

Gemini:thank you, and I will ask, when time is there, I will ask, that's the way I am.
always wanted to know the reason if there is a reason uberhaupt.

Rosebud: I agree with you, with some people its easily to turn your back either, but with some persons who are near to you, its hard to do.....so it depends who and what they mean for us.
thank your for your reply  

Daniel: thank you for your kind words.



tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
12 posted 2000-10-12 05:14 AM


I sympathize hon...I've been there and many years later I still don't know why...but I got on with my life and found the love that is my life and don't care why anymore...still doesn't mean that I still don't think about him but he no longer eats away at my soul.
HUGS
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



Charisma
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13 posted 2000-10-12 06:55 AM


Mark: thank you for your advice, and I will not focus  on the why, I have written it because I had to deal with it, and will leave it behind till the time right is there.
and I will find some future happiness.

tracie66: you are right, maybe we find answers, maybe not, time will learn...but I will going on with my life too. thank you for your kind words.



Broken_Winged_Angel
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994
Small Town, Somewhere
14 posted 2000-10-12 08:29 AM


I agree with White....Sometimes it makes it easier to heal knowing why.. sometimes not, but what the hey..    I prefer to know.  Well written.

With a little piece of tomorrow,
You'll have to kiss yesterday goodbye.
Because today won't last forever,
And the past will only make you cry.

Robert Joseph
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since 2000-10-07
Posts 491
South Carolina
15 posted 2000-10-12 09:06 AM



Charisma, finding solace through your pen can be a great reward, I wish you peace.

Robert Joseph


Charisma
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16 posted 2000-10-12 02:41 PM


Broken_Winged_Angel: I agree with you, thank you for your reply  

Robert Joseph: thank you for your compliment

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