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Open Poetry #10
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SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396


0 posted 2000-10-10 08:40 PM


Shadows Dancing By

I rubbed my eyes awake enough
to see the shadows dance before the dawn,
to see the whispers float on silkened air.
I stretched the peace
from muscles reddened weak,
from bones now old and frail.
I felt enough of that frozen life
although it had just begun.
Winter breath cloudy white
rolling while I speak,
fogging room with shy,
and empty cries lost on their way,
forgotten before their time,
slipping from the real in here,
this hollow cave of dampened fires,
this plastic photo frame world
in which I've found relies on the taste
of ten thousand lies, I've found you
and the reasons why and lie alone
and rub my eyes and force the sleep
for the visions follow trails of now
and somehow find a way, begging me to stay,
and the wishes never came true
and islands fade away and
I've found the skin I was in
to be much too late to fly,
but I rubbed my eyes and saw again,.....
the shadows dancing by.



© Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2000-10-10 09:35 PM


Spitfire~ WOW! This is amazing........
"I've found the skin I was in
to be much too late to fly,
but I rubbed my eyes and saw again,....
the shadows dancing by"

Loved this   -SEA

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
2 posted 2000-10-10 09:44 PM


SpitFire,

Hey you!!!  So nice to see this one.  This is simply lovely writing my friend . . .

I rubbed my eyes awake enough
to see the shadows dance before the dawn,
to see the whispers float on silkened air.


You have much talent.  The images were spectacular.  

Lone Wolf


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
3 posted 2000-10-11 04:47 AM


Spitfire  
Oh how you have grown in your writing, this is superb...well done.
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



insect
Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014

4 posted 2000-10-11 06:48 PM


Nice work SpitFire!
They should change a day to
36 hours then we could get more
done and we wouldn't be as old and…
well maybe not, it would take to long
for the weekend to come but at least
we could party longer on the weekend
and write more poetry.. but I was just
thinking about the numbers and it doesn't
really add up and everything would be all
messed up and we would have to change to
many things like clocks and calendars and
the sun would be in the wrong spot at 12:00
and…….ahh! Just forget what I said except
the part about nice work because your poems
are cool!

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2000-10-11 07:25 PM


Beautiful writing, Spit fire...I tried rubbing my eyes but just made them red  
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

6 posted 2000-10-12 11:26 AM


~Sea,thank you kindly for the wow, the words, and the time you took.
~LW, you're so sweet. Thank you for reading and for your reply.
~Tracie, what a nice thing to say, thank you.
~Insect, I was hearing what you were saying...I can follow. Thank you I for reading.
~Martie, oh in the dead of the night the rubbing is used to try to wash away the shadows dancing by. Don't hurt yourself there. hehe. Thanks for your time M.
*Peace all.

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
7 posted 2000-10-12 01:27 PM


Fire,
spectacular!
Keth


Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
Gail Sheehy

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
8 posted 2000-10-12 02:57 PM


great imagery....superb.
enjoyed reading it  

Charisma

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

9 posted 2000-10-12 08:55 PM


of ten thousand lies, I've found you
and the reasons why and lie alone
and rub my eyes and force the sleep
for the visions follow trails of now
and somehow find a way, begging me to stay,
and the wishes never came true
and islands fade away and
I've found the skin I was in
to be much too late to fly,
but I rubbed my eyes and saw again,.....
the shadows dancing by.
=====================
AWESOME SPIT!!!!
wow --this is so cool,
yes, your poetry had grown and its so cool to see the evolution we all go thru after coming here and learning from each other..
fantastic read my friend
later-shadow-gator
jm

Jeffrey Carter
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!
10 posted 2000-10-13 03:29 PM


I just gotta say   "DUDE"

This is excellent writing....you have really grown in your work  

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
11 posted 2000-10-13 07:28 PM


Wow! This is great, I LOVE the title.  

"I rubbed my eyes awake enough
to see the shadows dance before the dawn,
to see the whispers float on silkened air"

Some of your best work, in my humble opinion.  




"The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest"
~ My Angel.

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