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Open Poetry #10
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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2000-10-10 01:11 PM


My why of rhyme

I've been told the limit of rhyme
And asked to try free verse some time.
Write of close and personal flings
In other words of worldly things.

And I would fill this simple plead
But I've been shell shocked from the deed.
I'll offer you some clear vermouth
And the slightest sip of my truth.

Would you hear of my Isabel
The rapper of my life time hell?
Or would you out privy dragons
And sip some fire from those flagons?

Or would you hear my crimes of war
The haunts of demons that I store?
Of holding death close in my arms
The short of breath the tears the psalms.

Why would you dare so close to me
Why would I give this hell to thee?
I cannot solve this paradox
Ever though I am orthodox.

I rhyme to hear a soft of shoal
A tranquil whisper to my soul.
It dulls the razor edge of why
This childish rhyme like lullaby.

I'd rather this then feted spit
To rock my cradle in this pit.


© Copyright 2000 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
1 posted 2000-10-10 01:23 PM


I agree - I've gotta rhyme to, Sy..
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2000-10-10 02:08 PM


From you, yes...

quote:
I rhyme to hear a soft of shoal
A tranquil whisper to my soul.
It dulls the razor edge of why
This childish rhyme like lullaby.





always...


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ



Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
3 posted 2000-10-10 02:14 PM


Seymour-I understand.
A rhyme to ease ones pain.
Of lifes' tearful game.
Peace my friend, and I liked this one.

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
4 posted 2000-10-10 02:17 PM


From the one who couldn't rhyme if her life depended on it!!!  I like this a lot..SY!! The mix of free verse and rhyme was good!!

"I rhyme to hear a soft of shoal
A tranquil whisper to my soul.
It dulls the razor edge of why
This childish rhyme like lullaby"
I liked this part expecially too  

I sometimes cannot read rhyme cuz, it seems to structured or something...strange huh  But, then I always seem to be in the minority in my abilities...be it writing, drawing, etc.  I cannot usually do what the majority can....does that make me strange??  Just a thought!!  Well, no more rambling...so I shall go!!  

Bridgette  
< !signature-->

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again.  To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown


[This message has been edited by Justbleu (edited 10-10-2000).]

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2000-10-10 05:00 PM


it 'tis a need ... to bleed in rhyme
to be freed of curse ... write rhythm in verse divine
**************
and few do do it better than you SY-guy
and you KNOW I crave rhyme...
and yours suits me fine...
LOVE this cool poem!!!!
later-king-of-cadence-gator
jm

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
6 posted 2000-10-10 05:39 PM


Seymore, I like this I really do, there's reason in your rhyme. (sorry couldn't resist)
Very well written, and rhymes so well!!
                 Marsha
                XXXXXXX

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
7 posted 2000-10-10 06:13 PM


Sir Tabin... For the most part my work falls in rhyme, but there are those times when it just falls all over the place... sort of a semi-structured chaos.  It is at those times I write some of my darker themes... and I for one have had very little darkness in my life to draw upon.  I believe if I had ever really had to live amongst the hinted shadows of your life, I would probably only write in rhyme as well. May you find and always keep peace at your side.  I bow to you and yours.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2000-10-10 08:24 PM


Nan,
I'm with you all the way. *L* Sy

Sunshine,
Thank you karilea. *L*

Gemini,
THank you for the read and nice comment.

Justbleu,
Thank you for the nice rambling.

JM,
Thank you my talented later gator.

Marsha,
Thank you for the nice comment and the XXXX's

Andrew,
I thank you for the genuflect.

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
9 posted 2000-10-10 09:45 PM


Seymour~ this is perfect!   -SEA
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2000-10-10 11:24 PM


Seymour~
You do it with pizazz ...
Whatever it is that you do.
And a rhyme-in-time is just
The perfect fit for you !

Big hugs, my friend.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
11 posted 2000-10-11 09:03 AM


Sea, Maybe 99 percent LOL Thanks.

Marge,
Love your comments and you. Sy

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
12 posted 2000-10-11 09:07 AM


Sy you do it well yuh
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