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Open Poetry #10
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CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685
USA

0 posted 2000-10-09 05:08 PM


She came to me
this morning
full of fear and mistrust....

i could see it in her eyes

agony, pain, contempt

she was overfilled...

she came to me
this morning
to say her piece

to clear her mind..
to clear her conscience...


she came to me
this morning
to see if I still loved
if i still felt...

A lonely tear on my cheek told her i did...

she smiled at the little bit of hurt she caused

she came to me
this morning
to say goodbye.



Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.



© Copyright 2000 Christopher M. Grimm - All Rights Reserved
Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

1 posted 2000-10-09 05:19 PM


Very tender..enjoyed..
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2000-10-09 05:26 PM


Sometimes it seems to me that when someone has been hurt by another in their past they are just waiting for an opportunity for someone new to care for them and they are determined that they will not care back so that they can say goodbye and hurt someone in much the same way they were hurt...
I have that feeling in a relationship I'm in right now...that she wants to take out her pain on me...to hurt me in retaliation for the one that hurt her...perhaps just my insecurities and fears...I hope so...James

CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685
USA
3 posted 2000-10-10 04:12 PM


thanks victoria...

and James...thanks for sharing......I wish you all the best.


chris

Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.



Dee
Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia
4 posted 2000-10-10 04:32 PM


Chris, so sad but so beautiful. If this is your story I feel for you.
Dee

CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685
USA
5 posted 2000-10-10 11:57 PM


Thanks Dee..


chris

Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.



Wesley the Blue
Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 426
Forest Lake, MN, USA
6 posted 2000-10-11 12:28 PM


This is sad.  Good poem though.

Keith Mullin

Even in the darkest night, someone will be there holding a candle for you.


CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685
USA
7 posted 2000-10-11 02:07 AM


thanks keith

Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.



natelan
Junior Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 34
Escondido, CA, USA
8 posted 2000-10-11 05:05 AM


*bows*
Well, heh...  The title sure is misleading...  Not that I'm disapointed, because trust me, I am not, but I began the reading expecting a lovely lil' poem about how crispy your corn flakes were, or how, by some maricle, your toast landed butter side UP.
But no, this was not about any of those things...  This short, sweet, and very intimate work of poetry, sends me a sence of disconsern in a moment of dispair.  I have been there.  The very direct approach you took in conveying your emotions, immediately sends me back to times of similar coinsidinces, which is not easily acheived by other writers.
I also, as a 'writer,' appreciate greatly, the sudden climax toward the end...  To me, atleast, it, like the basis of the poem, was completely unexpected.  The ending of this poem really 're-wrote' all that preceeds it.
*bows*


A man in a bubble is a man in trouble.

CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685
USA
9 posted 2000-10-11 10:57 PM


thanks nate....

chris

Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.



Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
10 posted 2000-10-11 11:02 PM


CMGrimm-I feel for you and I'm sorry you had to be told like this, but sometimes its better to know the truth.  Hugs friend, and please continue to write, you've written this one very well.
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