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SpitFire
Member Elite

since 2000-04-19

Posts 2396

0 posted 2000-10-08 07:37 PM

Twisted Sticks of Truth

I've decided time was no escape
in all those nights of
shame filled glasses
and twisted sticks of truth,
in silences spoiled red and
silver stained youth.
It was then that the
bread was soaking when
the clock was choking and
seeds were falling slow,
when the snarls were combed and
glasses were tipped and
risks proceeded to grow.
I've swallowed the gift
and taken a sip and
breathed the breath of now,
I've put on the shoes and
untied the screams, I've wrestled
with the look and kissed my dreams.
I felt the earth in soiled fists
and drank in time of yesterday's line,
I took a walk on limbs crippled
with sin, to heights free of hate,
free of stabbing and of sting,
I've felt the blanket in the sky
and heard the mountains sing and so
I've decided not to taste last night or
look back there today, I've decided
time is no escape and breathe now,...
for just another day.

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

1 posted 2000-10-08 08:49 PM

you've got some really great lines in here SpitFire... it all flows and weeps and screams with truth... it's a GREAT piece!!!! wonderful writing!!

(i know this isn't a place for critique, so forgive me when i say that i think if you lose the last line entirely, it will be an even better piece... it's really not a necessary line, imo, and i'm only saying this because i know you are the type of poet who appreciates such input)

[This message has been edited by doreen peri (edited 10-08-2000).]

Waverly917
Member

since 2000-09-23

Posts 90
Hugo, MN

2 posted 2000-10-09 04:32 PM

I love the flow of this one. This poem really speaks the truth.

Abra

"So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key."
-Already Gone, The Eagles

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

3 posted 2000-10-09 05:57 PM

"I felt the earth in soiled fists
and drank in time of yesterday's line,
I took a walk on limbs crippled
with sin, to heights free of hate,
free of stabbing and of sting,"

Excellent piece Spitfire! Powerful writing here, loved your thoughts in this, very expressive!

Best wishes,
/Kit

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