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Open Poetry #10
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Still, I Died
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Still, I Died |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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A gun, in hand, his staff, the other... "Choose," he said, "which would you 'druther'?" Yet I was calm, as commonplace, I greeted death as kiss of fate. I did not give a damn--NO MORE-- I'd played that game-- been there before. "No." I said. I shook my head. I trembled, closed my eyes instead. I thought that I might keep some pride; amazed to think: "Here's how I die." I'd like to say that I was brave, and pondered not, of sins forgave. I'd like to say I did not cry... He did not shoot. But still, I died. |
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| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Wow....where did this one come from? Powerful piece from you in this little verse of yours. Superb as usual and in classic "serenity" style. Did you know that I recognized your style from a mile away. That is a good thing ya know.(nod head and say yes) Good I am glad you did. Loved it me friend of the wee hours twittle |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I am having a hard time putting this into words.... This is a wonderfully raw poem. Your soul shines in all you write. If you do not submit your writing somewhere, I'm going to come out there and whomp you girl! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
serenity, you continue to exceed expectations, did you know that? Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
excellent my friend. . . will you please submit so I can stop listening to deVine keep telling you too?  superb. . . from your soul. . . ------------------------------------------------------ That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
you've left us to believe you died by the staff? ... well written and a good second read ... |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
did this occur on Mars - or Venus? - I never cease to be amazed at the facets of the war - and how we choose to cope- (all the while dreaming of a relationship without stress) wonderful wonderful write Serenity |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Butterfly dries sweet S'en. Love you! ((hugs)) You packed a punch in this one baby...I'm still fighting for air~ |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
serenity, a picture of your mind would be an amazing thing....I love your style |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Serenity- WOW! ...and did i mention, WOW! This is such a powerful write. Pulled me in and held me all the way through...and then I had to have a second read. Thanks for sharing this. -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Mark, m'angelheart---thank you so much for the "lovelies"--serene hugs to you... PdV, So...you gonna "whomp" me now? (Watch it lady, I know "wrastlin'" moves...) winks and hugs--love ya much. Karilea---(I just love typing your name, swear if I'd have heard nine years ago would've named my daughter that) and No. Had I known there were expectations to be met, I'd have bowed out long ago....but I do so thank you for your graciousness, and for being such a gentle ray of Sunshine. Sven---Hrrmph...SUBMIT!?! Did you not READ? ROFL...thank you, gentle sven... Mark...so to speak...thanks for your kindness and glad, so glad you are back! (I'd hug ya but yer married...lol) Wils---(scratchin' me head...) Well, Mercury WAS retrograde...somethin' to think about...OH. and that "stress-free" relationship? Keep dreaming...winks and hugs. Holly---serenity sorrows. sighs, and hugs. Michael--PICTURES---STILL AFTER PICTURES!!! WHADDYA WANT? Freaking X-rays? Picture this, me hugging you...thank you, so much, you've been more than kind, and I continue to study your work..."Mary Dodd"...oh manoman Vicky--thanks to you also, luvie...I am much gratified to know that you're reading...hugs to you! |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
*wow*...glad that I came in to read this. have no words to tell how strong your message is....thank you for sharing it Charisma |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Serenity~ Understanding this one and sending applause. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I did not give a damn--NO MORE-- I'd played that game-- been there before. "No." I said. I shook my head. I trembled, closed my eyes instead. I thought that I might keep some pride; amazed to think: "Here's how I die." I'd like to say that I was brave, and pondered not, of sins forgave. I'd like to say I did not cry... He did not shoot. But still, I died. ======================== read this one lastnight ... couldnt find the words to reply ... still dont think I have the ones to express the way it effects me ... "But still, I died.".... and came back a poet of exception ... me loves you sen'...truely me |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Ouch....have been forgetting me manners of late...heh heh... Charisma...thanks for the compliment, and nice to meet you, welcome to the forum, forgive me for not saying that sooner...and I shall be checking out your work as well... Marge...I can always count on you to understand...awesome lady, you!!! JM......thank god for you! Keeper of my secrets you are, until I blab them all over the internet myself!!! I love ya much for yer great big heart, and undying loyalty. HUGS. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Serenity, this is wonderful writing Sista,very powerful, very in control and very good Excellent! loved it dear |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
serenity, Wow. I know you have seen that alot in these replies.. but it is the first thing that came to mind. Powerful powerful writing. Wonderful. ~~Tara aka rp25 :o) |
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Mona Lisa Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 100Halifax, Nova Scotia |
Wow...this is a powerful poem that convey so much in such a serious topic. Thanks for the read. I especially enjoyed the last couple of lines..."he did not shoot, but still I died." Again, these are powerful words... [This message has been edited by Mona Lisa (edited 10-06-2000).] |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Serenity - This piece transports me back to a time over twenty years ago... A very explicit time that was intensely difficult for me - I'd say you've succeeded brilliantly in your writing here.. |
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