Falling off the Moon's Crescent

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Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite

since 2000-08-04

Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware

0 posted 2000-10-05 03:43 PM

I just set off to walk the avenue last night
Thought poetry of you but pencil wouldn't write
Late it was and silent, the streets were bare and quiet
But deep inside my heart you made all the riot

A crescent moon hung in the indigo sky
Where I thought I could sit, and watch the stars go by
Maybe look down at treetops and homes warmly lighted
Dwell on nature's boon and not be benighted

But I saw in a window, a couple were kissing
And only could fix on what we were missing
Lost my grip so I slipped from that slice of old cheese
Then I knelt in prayer right down on my knees

"Dear God if you love us, deliver us today
Make our love whole, I'll do whatever you say"

~You have to have a dream so you can get up in the morning.

~ Billy Wilder

angelswing
Senior Member

since 2000-02-10

Posts 705
United Kingdom

1 posted 2000-10-05 04:01 PM

Truly touching, fulfiling and powerful . This one realy sent a chill up my spine . I know what that situation feels like, I seem to spend my whole life in it . Thankyou .
L.of.L. Tom .

Don't try, do or do not, there is no try .
- Master Yoda -

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

2 posted 2000-10-05 04:01 PM

Bill,
How did you get up there?
Then, how did you get down?
AS for the final couplet, only you can make it happen.
A delightful poem
Liz

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite

since 2000-08-04

Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware

3 posted 2000-10-05 04:34 PM

Tom -

I have been in similar - this has some unique properties - thank you ~S~

Liz -
"God helps those who help themselves" eh?
wish it were that simple - Thank you ~S~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

4 posted 2000-10-05 05:17 PM

I enjoyed the style of this poem.
And what did God do and what did he say?
James

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

5 posted 2000-10-05 05:49 PM

thanks for sharing, I am deeply moved.

Charisma

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite

since 2000-08-04

Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware

6 posted 2000-10-05 08:27 PM

James -

I suppose I was thinking 'sonnet' but after the first 4 lines were down and they 'felt' good to me - I was not going to shorten them

Thank you -
anyhow - I still kept the length and the resolution in the last couplet.

Charisma-
Humble thanks for your words -

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

7 posted 2000-10-05 08:57 PM

a poignant, well written piece, Wil... with a great title! enjoyed this very much

thank you!!!!

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

8 posted 2000-10-05 09:02 PM

Lovely poem! Next time, make sure your lady is under that tree and you'll fall at her feet.

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite

since 2000-08-04

Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware

9 posted 2000-10-05 11:08 PM

Doreen-

With a title like that - I feel badly I did not do more with it

- but thank you

Sharon-

Darn - why didn't I think of that?

thanks

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

10 posted 2000-10-05 11:24 PM

I've known this kind of desperation to get that love back. Very, very hard thing to do, too. Love the use of language in this, indigo is one of my favorite poetic words, too.

Corinne

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite

since 2000-08-04

Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware

11 posted 2000-10-30 05:47 PM

Corinne-
Never meant to ignore your response - I guess 'better late than never' - Things are better now - this was created at a less confident time - Thank You

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