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Open Poetry #10
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Romy
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida

0 posted 2000-10-05 10:16 AM


*Surviving*
a day like today
my motive to delight in
good days tomorrow.


* Swindler*
His mind, a machine,
I could see the wheels turning,
fabricating lies.


*Overdue*
Delinquent I am
but no matter, you can’t take
nothing from nothing.



© Copyright 2000 Deborah L. Carter - All Rights Reserved
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
1 posted 2000-10-05 03:45 PM


Loved the first two!

One suggestion, though, I think the last one smacks just a tad of a cliche (nothing from nothing).

Corinne

angelswing
Senior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 705
United Kingdom
2 posted 2000-10-05 04:07 PM


Don't you listen to Corinne, Debbie . I think that you can be as cliche as you like as long as you do it in the right context, and you sure have done that . Loved it, and the 'nothing from nothing' phrase is one of my own favourites, I think it fits the poem beutifuly . You've got your point across hear .
L.of.L. Tom .


Don't try, do or do not, there is no try .
- Master Yoda -

Romy
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida
3 posted 2000-10-05 04:24 PM


Hi Corrine and Tom! Thanks to both of you for your comments! Corrine, I'm glad you liked the first two!  You are right, the last is sooo cliche!  But, it was alot of fun to write!  Tom, thanks for coming to my rescue! If everybody thought the same way about things, life would sure be boring!
Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
4 posted 2000-10-05 04:27 PM


yeah I agree with tom cos I've found myself may a times using them myslef Nice set of haiku BTW

Sometimes you have to let go and move on,
But never let go of the memories.


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