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Open Poetry #10
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Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095


0 posted 2000-10-04 08:35 PM


Silence


Silence,
a siren blaring
through my head
and like a mirrorball
it spins shades
of madness that leak
through  fingers fanned,
over my
face

deep down the dusky
shadows of my mind
I see you there
highlighted
by twilight’s spotlight,
yes I see the sprinkle
of dust happening

you are beginning
to look
old


amazing that
you, would sit there
alone cross-legged
in the corner like a
ragged doll, waiting
for me to pick you up

but you see,
the silence occupies
me.


Angel of Darkness
5/10/2000


© Copyright 2000 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
1 posted 2000-10-04 08:51 PM


DA beautiful poem! Oh how I wish that silence occupied me right now!  
(you know what I mean) read this at the wrong time, will have to come back and read it again, when I'm in a different frame of mind. Sorry hon. Hugs!

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2000-10-04 09:01 PM


Maree--So much silence lately...and it is so loud...like this poem.
fool
Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 61

3 posted 2000-10-04 09:06 PM


This is a lovely piece,the fire within the words burns brightly,well done.
Moonshine
Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265
Australia
4 posted 2000-10-04 11:22 PM


Awesome poem Maree, the words create such a vivid picture within my mind. It is so hauntingly beautiful - well done.
Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
5 posted 2000-10-05 06:12 AM


maree

another pretty compelling poem .... i see where you were headed with this, but i feel it might be worth a bit more work.  Lines like:

"it spins shades
of madness that leak
through fingers fanned"

are simply terrific...



MP

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
6 posted 2000-10-05 07:11 AM


silence is so much more than just silence.

love the way you describe it

Charisma

Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
7 posted 2000-10-05 11:04 AM


There is a certain darkness about this piece....maybe your name does suit you. Interesting writing.

parker

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
8 posted 2000-10-05 11:12 AM


i would say i love this poem but i am currently keeping my silence

yuh yuh

jlocke
Member
since 2000-09-10
Posts 169
CC,TX
9 posted 2000-10-05 12:52 PM


Silence

JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA
10 posted 2000-10-05 12:59 PM


    

Brava!



Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
JP

Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so.
B. Russell

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

11 posted 2000-10-05 04:11 PM


Hey Angel, No Problem Dear, heheh I wish I could've passed some silence through the puter for ya   Thanks for readin hon  

Martie, yeah it's been kinda like that.
Thankf for reading  

Hi Fool, thank you so much for you lovely reply  

Hi J, I am glad you liked it Dear   Thanks

MP, yes you are right, It does need a bit more work   Thank you for your comment  I appreciate it hon  

Charisma, happy to be pleasin you  Thanks so much.

Interesting you should say that Haleyja  
Thank you for your lovely reply  

Walty, yuh yuh you do that!!!   Thanks hon  

jloke,   Smokin     Thank You  

JP, I'm Brava? wow,  Molto Grazie!  





serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2000-10-06 08:46 PM


Incredible imagery here, sista!  I especially loved the first stanza---a mirrorball, indeed...very strong visual, that.  Awesome.
Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
13 posted 2000-10-08 11:53 PM


and i am beginning
to feel
old


so old that i can in fact
no longer sit cross legged-
instead i lean in the corner
like a nonjointed doll
waiting for you to pick me up

but i see
your silence occupies
you






Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".



Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

14 posted 2000-10-09 05:58 AM


Girl - can I have some of what you have?
To alleviate this writer's block I'm in?
LOL

Wonderful, it's wonderful.

(One thing - don't like 'head' in the third line - now you know what I'd suggest hey? Yup - mind...lollol...  )

Hugs Mmy.

K

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
15 posted 2000-10-09 06:04 AM


Little DA~
You are positively amazing
This piece is just devine...excellent writings my friend  
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



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