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Open Poetry #10
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2000-10-02 09:07 PM


    He wants to
    walk hand and hand
    on the shore, while I read
    poetry from the soul

    Make love under moonlit shoreline,
    while gypsy wind frolics
    in the waves, and he frolics
    with sweet taboo

    Calls me lover when
    the night winds blow
    and the skies thunder
    with the onset of rolling storms,
    his storm horizons
    sleep inside my mind,
    sleeps inside where he

    Gently speaks how emeralds
    captivate his stare,
    as the moon glows it's
    sparkle of shimmer

    Would whisper how lovely
    I look when he calls my name,
    and weaves my thoughts
    with his mind, weaves
    my thoughts with his
    hands, weaves his
    thoughts with my

    desire

© Copyright 2000 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 2000-10-02 09:13 PM


Very beautiful, Greeneyes!! Just lovely!!

Denise

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
2 posted 2000-10-02 09:13 PM


"Gently speaks how emeralds
    captivate his stare,"

That was great!  I especially love it because the beach has to be my absolute favorite place!  Great write!!

sp  


Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'it might have been.' -John Greenleaf Whittier

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-10-02 09:19 PM


Calls me lover when
    the night winds blow
    and the skies thunder
    with the onset of rolling storms,
    his storm horizons
    sleep inside my mind,
    sleeps inside where he

    Gently speaks how emeralds
    captivate his stare,
    as the moon glows it's
    sparkle of shimmer
==================
this is STUNNING!!!
what a gorgeous poem...
such sensual emotions laced with such mystical imagery ..
this is a VERY well written poem ..
its a feast for the readers senses ...
very very creative work..
your unique vocabulary choices made this gem.
excellent work green eyes...
take care
jm


There are places inside our souls -
that have never been touched.
There are places inside our hearts -
that need to be loved this much.
~jm~


Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
4 posted 2000-10-02 11:13 PM


You've done it again - I know how hard you work to craft these gems - (think it deserves a better title tho')
Tears_of_Grace
Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 50

5 posted 2000-10-02 11:25 PM


The power of the weave, a beautiful poem, you wove a fine poem yourself!
ggrn3
Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433
Nahunta Georgia U.S.
6 posted 2000-10-03 12:33 PM


Greeneyes
  You have woven the best blanket here with the finest of thread.  Great write.  I liked that way you did a 90 degree during the last verse from him weaving all of you,  to you weaving him with your desire.
Hey, I like Emeralds too. (slyishly typing this)

Garfield

rosepetals25
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076
PA
7 posted 2000-10-03 12:41 PM


Greeneyes,

    I can only say beautiful beautiful writing  

~~Tara aka rp25 :o)

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
8 posted 2000-10-04 03:46 AM


Well it is the ones that inspire us that actually weave the poem within our mind so our muse may take advantage of it.  Wonderful write.
tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
9 posted 2000-10-04 03:49 AM


Oh this is written with such beautiful imagery...well done
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
10 posted 2000-10-04 01:32 PM


grrrrrrrrrr........I had a single response for all that responded, my computers does not like me today    but for all,  please know really how much I appreciate your responses and reading....I kindly thank you  

Greeneyes

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
11 posted 2000-10-04 01:33 PM


ooooops

[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (edited 10-04-2000).]

Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2000-10-04 01:53 PM


Green Eyes--What a delightful poem..."gypsy winds frolic"..."emeralds captivate his stare"...and I loved the last stanza...beautifully done!
Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
13 posted 2000-10-04 08:33 PM


Martie

I appreciate you letting me know you enjoyed, thank you so much....

GE

fool
Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 61

14 posted 2000-10-04 09:13 PM


this has such a gentle flow to it,
I really enjoyed the feel of it.

"    Would whisper how lovely
                                                I look when he calls my name,
                                                  and weaves my thoughts
                                                   with his mind, weaves
                                                    my thoughts with his
                                                     hands, weaves his
                                                     thoughts with my "

And this last stanza is just superb.

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
15 posted 2000-10-05 02:20 PM


fool--

I am most thankful you enjoyed, and for your kind response~

GE

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
16 posted 2000-10-05 09:38 PM


I'm so glad I came in and caught this one...I too have green eyes, so it took on special meaning...

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ



Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

17 posted 2004-10-09 11:20 AM



Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
18 posted 2009-08-30 04:02 AM


Ah one I missed, and it would have been my loss.
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