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Open Poetry #10
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-10-01 06:00 AM


A new day
yet, of unaware--
fight with sorrow
this day's stare...
an octopus
of keeping time,
thesauraus--
terms of love, defined.

A blanket warm,
bereft of kiss,
words of love
without the bliss,
the silence of
something amiss,
the promise of a thing too fine...

take it, from me,
if you can,
I'll take it--
I'll be better than,
everything I was before...
TAKE IT.
Before, I ask for more...




[This message has been edited by serenity (edited 10-01-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Tears_of_Grace
Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 50

1 posted 2000-10-01 08:13 AM


I've read over this several times and each time I see a little deeper into it, actually a little deeper into me, you have a great style I'll be enjoying your work, believe me!
Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
2 posted 2000-10-01 09:13 AM



  Is there really 'a thing too fine?' I've always searched for it, but never found!
This poem, my friend, is full of meaning to be thought on, and I love the way you put it all together!~!  Nice work!!


Today is a gift....
That is why they call it
'the Present'!



Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
3 posted 2000-10-01 09:57 AM


Sigh...yes TAKE it...isnt that all we ever ask? For someone to take what we offer? You touch me with this one
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
4 posted 2000-10-01 09:58 AM


Way TOO fine as is the poet that wrote it.   Wonderful penning from you this morning my friend. Something amiss???  Did he miss???  Not this cowboy!!!
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2000-10-01 12:00 PM


A new day
yet, of unaware--
fight with sorrow
this day's stare...
an octopus
of keeping time,
thesauraus--
terms of love, defined.

A blanket warm,
bereft of kiss,
words of love
without the bliss,
the silence of
something amiss,
the promise of a thing too fine...
====================

*shaking my head* *smiling* ..
OK...it must be something in the water
there in MardiGras land ..
damn girl ... the first verse alone
knocked my metaphorical socks off!!
I LOVE this poem ..
I LOVE the way your mind works!!
I gotta get me some of that something fine  
had a taste of it ... leaves ya needing more
as in ... being baptized in it ...
which brings me back to the water there  
*feeling a humid breeze coming up from the south*
me loves ya me twin
me

Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793
on the roof again
6 posted 2000-10-01 03:20 PM


as i've said, i always have to read yours twice, but this one i took in sections.
your style is so enigmatic and magnificent! you ooze talent, i just want to say.
actually, i think i caught more than a couple of the meanings in this one. usually i only get one or two, but this time around... very well penned!

Everyone's got their demons.
We all got somethin' to atone for.

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2000-10-01 04:04 PM


thing too fine
so sublime
a heart
all mine. . .

wonderful my friend. . .  

-------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2000-10-01 10:36 PM


Much love and grats to all, I really appreciate your support....oh, is that Bartles & James?  But I truly thank you all, hope to be back soon to read your work as well...Hugs to all.
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