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Open Poetry #10
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Just off the top of my head. . .
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Just off the top of my head. . . |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA 
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You know, you think that you have it all planned It's supposed to go this way, and that way and then this way. . . but it never happens like that does it? NOPE and why is that? I mean, why does it always have to go differently? don't the fates know that I want my life to go a certain way? but NO!. . . they have decided that my life is to be this way. . . that's not what I ordered. . . I wanted it with no pickles. . . I don't like pickles by the way you know, you try to tell people these things. . .and what do they say? "Sorry man, I've got my own problems!" like their problems matter to you. . . well do they? they don't to me. . . well, okay, they do a little, you know. . . all that "the welfare of my fellow man" stuff. . . well, what about my welfare?? doesn't that count for anything? I really didn't think that it would come out this way. . . -----------------------------------------------------------------< !signature--> That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl [This message has been edited by Sven (edited 09-30-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 John Garcia - All Rights Reserved | |||
Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
I enjoy your being so honest in words, this is a wonderful poem full of wonderful expression...  Greeneyes |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
LOL, I'm always taking the pickles off of someone else's plate... good job Sven...different, and fun! Karilea When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Oh Sven is everything o'k hon?? This is so different for you but I liked the honesty in it. True our lives never go to plan no matter how hard we try, a different path is woven all the time and we just have to go with the flow...great piece my friend Tracie~ and HUGS if ya need them. Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Greeneyes, thank you. . . just trying to get it all out on paper. . . Sunshine, glad that you liked it. . . trying to stretch. . . speak for some people. . . you know. . . tracie, everything's ok my friend. . . just some random thoughts that I had. . . thanks for your concern. . .and I will always take a hug from you!  ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
sven~ loved this one! yes why doesn't it turn out the way WE want it to??? LOL. Great poem my friend. take care. amy |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
All I can say for my own life is, thank God some of the things I thought I wanted didn't turn out the way I planned. And by the way I'll take your pickles, I lovem, yum yum...lol. Nice writing my friend. Juls |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Sven, can I have the pickles, oh no it's okay really, I'm not very hungry... well maybe a little bite just from the edge, no I'm certain I don't want one of my own... perhaps another small bite from the middle... do you have anything to wash it down...no just a mouthful of yours will be fine... you are such a kind and considerate person always thinking of others... oh you noticed I left the pickle...actually, I don't like them... Here you could have them... Why are you running away and screaming. Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Alright Sven couldn't let this opportunity go by... I don't want a pickle I just wanta ride my motorcickle... ...James |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Amy, I'm still trying to figure that one out!! LOL Thanks! Juls, this is true. . . sometimes, it's better when they don't turn out like we planned. . . just doesn't seem that way at the time! And I will gladly let you have all the pickles you want!! Kethry, I just have one thing to say. . . Get your own #@^$%#@( Food!!! LOL  James, so glad that you didn't let the opportunity go by! ----------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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jinxed Member
since 2000-09-27
Posts 86 |
lol@kethry and the pickles...can i have them? lol... I have to order a cup of extra pickles on the side cause McD's idea of EXTRA pickles is .....two instead of one...lol.. great writing sven, and yep...maybe if we had an idea of the end we would do things differently...but then sometimes you get the idea that it doesn't really matter does it? |
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The Lonely Stranger Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 361Upstate, NY, USA |
Sven, I like the way you echoed the words by using the structure. The first two stanzas show lines progressing in a fashin that shows planning. Then BOOM the last line of each of those stanza's destroy the plan. then there seems chaos in the structure, as if the Gods of fate have taken over and the architect is no longer in control. then toward the end......the desired structure re-appears. And is yet again jumbled. Wonderfully clever. TLS [This message has been edited by The Lonely Stranger (edited 10-02-2000).] |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
jinxed, you can have all the pickles that you want (vile spawn of the vegetable world!!!) LOL And you're right, it doesn't really matter. . . but you know that we want it to!! Thank you. . . TLS. . . wow. . . you really saw all of that? I'm amazed. . . thank you for the compliment. . . and thank you for reading. . . ------------------------------------------------------------< !signature--> That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl [This message has been edited by Sven (edited 10-02-2000).] |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
This one really gets to the grind of whats on your mind. When things seem dark, keep that spark of hope alive my friend. Deb |
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