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Open Poetry #10
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An Apology to My Female Friends
| Open Poetry #10 |
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An Apology to My Female Friends |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada 
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*LOL ... So sad ... I'm pathetic, true story yesterday morning  *** An Apology to My Female Friends 'Twas minding my own business, driving merrily along, The music turned up loud, and humming to my favorite song ... Then BANG! A sound ... I start to swerve ... I swing from left to right, I almost hit another guy, amidst this awful fright! I get control, pull off the road, and survey my demise, My tire's flat and shredded up ... I give a little cry! I jump back in my vehicle, and reach to grab the phone, But cancelled it, and I forgot ... so now I'm all alone! Dilemma now, what do I do? Get out and take a walk? But on this stretch of road there is no phone booth there, I balk! So off I wander aimlessly, I'm shivering and cold, Did not expect a side trip ... so I'd left my coat at home! I come upon a woman as she's jogging down the road, And thankfully, she has a cell, and offers me her phone; Now this is nice, who do I call? I've cancelled CAA, I only have one choice in this, so call my work and say ... "Come get me, I am stranded! Please send someone to my aid!" I'm blanking here ... I'm lost and struggling, stupid me ... afraid; Profusely, I do thank the gal, and offer her some change, But she just smiles and carries on the road, along her way. My secretary from the office, comes to pick me up, She takes me to a phone booth where I call a tow ... what luck! I'm dropped off at my car to wait, I start this little verse, And half an hour later ... comes the tow truck (beats a hearse!) "Now little lady, what's the matter? Got a little flat?" "Guess you never learned to change a tire. How 'bout that?" He gets equipment ready and he opens up my trunk, But stands there stupefied and says, "Hey lady there! What's up???" "You got no spare, in this here trunk, it's empty, come and see!" I groan and shriek, go take a look ... it's empty as can be!!! "Now, less ya got a hidden spot, we got a problem here." "I'll hafta tow you down the road, cause you ain't got not spare!" He hooks me up and off we go, I'm grumbling all the while, They look it over, hum and haw, and sell me TWO more tires!!! I thank them, pay two hundred bucks, and off to work I head, It's now three hours later, as I rush to work with dread. The moment I arrive, reception laughs and sighs to me, "Your hubby called three times for you, just call him back she pleads." I call and tell my sorry tale, to which he then replies, "You HAVE a spare, it's hidden, in the back along the side!!! Now who'd have thought of that, not ME!?! I grumble deep inside, I guess I'd better smarten up ... embarrassed ... lost my pride! I will say this, I don't know much, 'bout cars I will confess ... And surely I know LESS than that ... when under steep duress! So ladies I apologize, I've re-enforced the myth ... "This" women cannot cope with cars ... I'm living proof of this!!! /Kit McCallum |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kit McCallum - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Kit~ it's ok, I forgive you.  This is one of the best I've read in a long time, great work! -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Kit, LOLOLL! You don't have to apologize to me.. I'm afraid i'm in the same boat you are..hehe. Yes it's true.. I do not how to change a flat. ~sighs~ I'm glad that you are ok All in all it could have been worse....hey.. you didn't have Firestone tires did you?  < !signature-->~~Tara aka rp25 [This message has been edited by rosepetals25 (edited 09-29-2000).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You're apologizing for being prolific? How dare you!?!? LOL...best read yet...stranded, helpless, and composing... who says we're not multitalented? HUMMM??? Karilea When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
No comment on the situation...LOL. Too many women in here anyway to get away with it.  This was one fun filled piece and I know that at the time you were pulling your hair out secretly but at least you brought it to us in such good fashion. |
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English Rose Member
since 2000-08-20
Posts 211Berkshire, England |
Oh poor Kit!!!! I am sure we all forgive you.....I probably would have been worse!! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kit--to have been through this and to be able to laugh at yourself...to my way of thinking your quite a lady...so there!! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Oh Kit....lol.... hugs and smiles... in situations like this what CAN you do but smile? K"He looked across the silky surface of the Severn... it was a famously difficult river with fierce tides..." From Jack Maggs |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Kit, All is forgiven!!! I have been there too. luckily my brother was home and helped me out. Learned how to do it myself real fast!! This was funny!!! Lone Wolf Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
No apology necessary! This was really funny and quite witty. Great write! |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Don't worry, Kit, I dont' even drive! Elizabeth Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near... hedeservesbetter@hotmail.com |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
Kit I'm afraid I'm in that boat to come to think about it , It must be a ship lol anyways I remember when it happened to me 5 am in morning thought my engine had dropped out of course here I am walking down highway a thousand miles from work, luckily got a ride from a guy that had a cellular phone, they were on their way fishing, thank goodness for fishermen. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Kit, you're obviously beautiful and talented. This was a hilarious write, you went from the sublime to the ridiculous with such style. LOL  Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Kit I haven't been through that....yet, but I can sure see you standing there totally flustered. Seems one of those days eh? My radiator almost overheated on me once, on the freeway going out to Atlanta to see my son in the hospital. By the grace of God, I made it there! Phew....I was scared then boy. I don't believe I have a jack, nor tire iron. uh oh.. You got through it, and I'm glad you weren't hurt!! Frustration no doubt, but you sure do show a sense of humor about it all! You made me laugh! To be able to laugh at it yourself shows a great mind set! <*\\\>< I know not what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Don't apologize! But I would like to know why the tow truck operator didn't know you had a spare? Usually guys know EVERYTHING about every make of a car? Hmmm Cute poem! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Thank you so much for all your replies everyone ... I'm afraid I'm off to practice the waltz, foxtrot and swing, yipeee  so wanted to thank you all together (and Sharon ... that was the FIRST quesiton my husband asked LOL) Gee, think I got taken? Oh well, live and learn. Much appreciation to ALL, /Kit |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Kit that's me, except I took the spare out because I couldn't get something in the boot. I love this poem, mutitalented, and amusing with it. Hey kid, now watch out, there's some who'll get jealous, not me, I'm just awestruck that you can write at all while waiting for the tow. Take care Marsha  |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Since Marsha gave me an opportunity to respond again, I wanted to also thank everyone individually above (ran out of time last night) ~SEA: Thank you for the "forgive you" and thanks for this lovely comment SEA, much appreciated! ~RosePetals: LOL, same as me eh? Sorry sights we are on the side of the road! Thanks, and I appreciate your concern (and nope, we checked, they weren't Firestone). Thanks! ~Sunshine: Wow, thanks for the prolific and multi-talented Karilea! I'll bet there's some strange places others have composed. Maybe that would be a great question for the Alley? Thanks again! ~Mark: 'Twas pulling my hair out to say the least, I should be bald! I only got a few verses written, but it kept me busy till the tow came! Thanks Mark! ~English Rose: LOL, Thank you for the forgive English Rose, embarrassed was my middle name that day! ~Martie: Thanks Martie, damsel in distress must have come from silly things like this. If I didn't laugh I would have cried, so at least this way it's better ($200 for nuthin' ughhh) ~Severn: LOL, Since I was feeling pretty brain-dead, I probably looked like a smiling labotomy patient, LOL ... wish I knew more about this kind of stuff ... thanks Severn! ~LoneWolf: Hey, now you're the example I need to emulate LoneWolf ... I'll have to learn a few things myself now, thanks! ~Eloise: Thank you for the witty Eloise, and the "no need" to aplogize! My embarrassment is fading with each response! ~Elizabeth: LOL, I guess that means that this is one embarrassment in life you won't have to worry about then. I cancelled my cell phone and CAA after we moved since I wasn't doing an hour of super-highway driving every morning ... think it's time to start it back up again! Thanks Elizabeth! ~Rosebud: LOL, we're in a ship and you were rescued by a fisherman! Can't get any more perfect than that Rosebud! Seriously though, it's kinda scary being stranded hoping you're not going to get a "nut" to help these days though, glad you found a good samaritan! ~Kethry: From the sublime to ridiculous ... loved that Kethry, thanks! And thank you for the "talented", that means a great deal to me, much appreciated! ~WhtDove: LOL, thanks Rebecca! I'm glad you enjoyed and it made you smile ... I've had some practice laughing at myself ... shows you how many silly things I've done! lol ~PoetdeVine: Sharon, that is the first thing my husband asked (he was really ticked). Between the tow truck driver and the 2 mechanics, hmmmm how come none of them knew where a spare was located in that kind of station wagon model? He wanted to call them and raise some heck, but I talked him out of it ... my fault afterall, I should have known better myself! ~Marsha: LOL, you too eh Marsha? Thanks for the lovely comment, and I'm sure no one would be jealous LOL ... even "I" don't like being me some days ROFL! Much appreciation to all, /Kit [This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 10-01-2000).] |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
LOL...that was the first thing that popped into my head too...you would think that the tow truck driver would know cars! Cute poem, Kit! Denise |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
I read you loud and clear! I faithfully take my car in every 3000 miles, being scared to death of something going wrong. Carry tennis shoes in the back, just in case I've got to walk! Corinne |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
ROTFLMAO... This is painfully reminiscent of.. Ode to My Jaguar I love my Jaguar.. Yes I do It's sleek and Sexy too. Plush leather in Rich charcoal out Sheer comfort's what It's all about. Brand new it's not For thirty days All problems fore The dealer pays. So when I found The battery dead They towed it just As they had said. Back on the road With that all fixed I'm driving in My XJ6. The sunroof's back Drive by the dunes With attitude And Classic tunes. This sunny day feels Good to me ~ Then "Holy Smoke"... What could that be? An old red pick-up's Driver claims "Look underneath ~ Your Jag's AFLAME"!! Pull off the road Shut off the key In zero time jumped Out to see Two fire trucks And cruisers three All there to greet .Just lil ole me.. "My Heroes, Thank you One and all" We laughed and chuckled As I called My friendly dealer And he said "Again I'll send you A flatbed." The fireman said With a cute smirk "Just fix this leak And it will work." The officer with A huge grin ~ He said "Don't you come This way again"!!! Of course the group of Them did say "Why did you trade Your Protege?" I, of course, Shall Love my Jag Forever and a day But rest assured Tomorrow morn I'm getting Triple "A"!! [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 10-02-2000).] |
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Lorelei54 Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458 |
I can relate...this happened late one night when I was coming home from work (retail at the Christmas season) and Mike was out of town. I was clueless as to what to do...luckly a man, whom looked somewhat homeless, wandered by, offered to change the tire, so I was glad to give hm the $20. I had in my pocket...but in the process, I left my headlights on...and the car battery went dead...called for a policeman with jumper cables...got the car started..only to die again at the next light. Luckly, he was still behind me..and got me going again...then followed me all but home... (Still do not know how to change a tire) We had roadside assistance...but I was clueless!!! Thanks for the memories!!! |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
I've changed several, but would rather let the guys do it,as they seem to enjoy helping us girls out in times of mechanical trouble!! This was really fun to read!! Today is a gift.... That is why they call it 'the Present'! |
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jinxed Member
since 2000-09-27
Posts 86 |
this is too cute.....one time my husband got mad at me cause the oil was low (but he was the one who took care of that you know?) and so I was determined to do it myself...had to ask the station attendant how!! rofg...too cute...lvoe your writing |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I enjoyed this! *S* My Dad refused to allow my hot little hands to touch the keys until I learned to change a tire... *S* But that's still no protection... I've had plenty of mechanics more adept at siphoning my wallet than fixing my car... Great read! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Denise: Tow truck driver AND 2 mechanics ... me thinks I got shafted I did, LOL ... thanks for enjoying Denise! ~Corinne: Thanks Corinne ... actually that's a great idea. I always used to carry a coat, blanket, boots etc. when driving the main highway for 12 years, but when we moved back to the city, I stopped all that, cancelled my CAA and ditched the cell phone, that'll teach me eh??? ~Nan: Ah Nan ... poetic perfection! Loved this, and a Jaguar no less?!? True story??? God I hope not ... flames??? Ack!!!! GREAT poem Nan, I'm glad you survived that one! ~Lorelei: Between you and Nan's Jaguar story ... I think we've proven the theory of Murphy's Law!!! ROFL ... glad it worked out OK in the end Lorelei, thanks for the fun response! ~Sunny: Glad you enjoyed Sunny! And between you and me ... I'd prefer the men help us out too, hey, I'm not proud!!! I can use all the help I can get when it comes to this, LOL! ~Jinxed: Thanks so much Jinxed! Now I will admit to checking the oil on my old car, and even once pouring it in ... but that's about the extent of my skill - now I've got a newer car and I'm lost again. It'll take me 2 years to find the dipstick again, LOL! ~Suthern: Thanks Suthern! I think I learned to change a tire in driver's ed, but wow that was years ago! And siphen the wallet is an understatement ... now I've got a spare tire, a new-old tire, 2 new tires! Much appreciation to all, /Kit |
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