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Open Poetry #10
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jinxed
Member
since 2000-09-27
Posts 86


0 posted 2000-09-29 02:43 PM


I used to put you on

we fit, us two
silk and satin pressed
against white shirt black tie
picking your shirt up
afterwards
I used to put you on
breathing the essence
of you
filling me with the
caresses from a few hours
before

we fit us two
we used to talk and laugh
and I used to put you on
my favorite comfortable shirt
you wrapped me in understanding
and acceptance

but you grew
your time for me
smaller
your claim to fame
bigger
and I didn’t grow with you
I stayed the same
and now we no longer fit, us two
uncomfortable tension pulled
and tugged
what was left of us
you sought escape
and I stayed the same

these days I sit
in the past with you
my lips almost remembering when
I used to put you on
like a smile


© Copyright 2000 jinxed - All Rights Reserved
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
1 posted 2000-09-29 03:04 PM


this is a lovely piece. the images and metaphors are very well written.... and your style seems quite familiar to me... i do think i know you, yes  ... but i may be wrong..  

i don't like the pen name, though... nope  

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2000-09-29 03:07 PM


Very nice...James
Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
3 posted 2000-09-29 03:23 PM



A bittersweet poem, beautiful and yet so sad in the end.  I know that longing and remembrance well.  Very well expressed!  

Take care,
Melissa Honeybee


The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams



seraphin
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004
Michigan
4 posted 2000-09-29 03:27 PM


I agree with Doreen. Excellent piece. Really touched home with me. In short...made me cry.
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
5 posted 2000-09-29 04:01 PM


Yanno, this could be me.  I've been put on a lot, and I was never the wiser.  Now I'm famous for being put on.  Do we know each other???  *quizzical looks*

I like this poem - great metaphor - I apologize if my light heartedness puts you off.

rosepetals25
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076
PA
6 posted 2000-09-29 04:13 PM


jinxed,

     Boy does this poem bring back some old feelings and memories.  Very well done  


             < !signature-->

~~Tara aka rp25  



[This message has been edited by rosepetals25 (edited 09-29-2000).]

jinxed
Member
since 2000-09-27
Posts 86

7 posted 2000-09-29 04:33 PM


thanks all, have one foot out the door as I type, gotta run........thanks again, am please that you like......
doreen, not sure what you mean...the nick fits just fine  

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
8 posted 2000-09-29 06:05 PM


I think we're dealing with some of the same feelings. I like this.
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
9 posted 2000-09-29 06:37 PM


Now I think you penned a little of each of us in this one.  Great read and keep the nick if it fits....
A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
10 posted 2000-09-29 06:53 PM


I can relate, after reading alot of poems on passions, seems everyone is feeling the same feelings, maybe we need a lonely hearts club..good poem!
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
11 posted 2000-09-30 08:11 AM


I like the metaphors used here, they fit so well. Sad that this happens to so many of us, I guess it must be just a part of life, but still it hurts.
Great writing, I truly relate to it.
Sandra

jinxed
Member
since 2000-09-27
Posts 86

12 posted 2000-09-30 10:58 AM


thanks so much, you guys are terrific  
i just wrote this in a few spare moments yesterday, never thought it would touch hearts ....sad that it does, but glad that you enjoyed  

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
13 posted 2000-09-30 11:32 AM


Jinxed~ touch hearts you did, I felt every word.   -SEA
jinxed
Member
since 2000-09-27
Posts 86

14 posted 2000-10-03 09:59 AM


wanted to say thanks sea, but didn't want to bring this back  ....think I waited long enough though for it to stay put  
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
15 posted 2000-10-03 10:42 AM


well - I like the poem and the poet -- but I'm with Doreen jinxed -- you have a heart!   just because there are a few espinados is no reason to throw away a rose..
jinxed
Member
since 2000-09-27
Posts 86

16 posted 2000-10-03 10:48 AM


well, am glad you like the poem...and the poet   ...but considering that on top of everything else...sigh..i had to put my dog down last night, and i have a dr's appt today and a dentist's tomorrow...i think the name will stick around for a while...but thank you for the thoughts...roses....are nice  
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