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seraphin
Senior Member

since 2000-09-24

Posts 1004
Michigan

0 posted 2000-09-28 02:35 PM

One Tear

One lonely tear
races with decisiveness
down my cheek
and leaping
with sorrow
off my chin
to land
on my heart.
how did it know
that was where
it hurt?

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

1 posted 2000-09-28 03:14 PM

Hi there, this is an excellant poem, it's true, and written with feelings, which is the only way really. I really enjoy this, it's got an amazing feel about it. Well done.
Marsha

inot2B
Member Elite

since 2000-09-18

Posts 2205
Arkansas

2 posted 2000-09-28 05:03 PM

Sometimes one tear says so much more than a bucketful!!

ggrn3
Member

since 2000-08-17

Posts 433
Nahunta Georgia U.S.

3 posted 2000-09-29 12:21 PM

Seraphin (((

)))
I echo both Marsha and inot2B. Excellent imagery in this one as I can see the tear racing down your face, only to jump off your cheek and onto your aching heart. One tear to help ease the pain.
I liked it very much. Short and Sweet. Can't get any better unless you write a Haiku.

Garfield

Ethan Halo
Senior Member

since 2000-04-28

Posts 793
on the roof again

4 posted 2000-09-29 12:26 PM

what an absolutely beautiful poem! the simplicity is so deceptive, for it holds such a powerhouse of emotions within the lines.
magnificent. i enjoyed this very much.

"And yesterday went by so quick it seems like it was just a day."

seraphin
Senior Member

since 2000-09-24

Posts 1004
Michigan

5 posted 2000-09-29 12:38 PM

thank you all for taking the time to read, and add such nice comments. This was an experiment in brevity, without losing depth. I wasnt sure if I pulled it off.

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

6 posted 2000-09-29 12:39 PM

I see alot of pain and saddness in your heart! Short but powerful! very unique!

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

7 posted 2000-10-04 10:53 PM

Seraphin~
Oh ....
This one certainly touches me this night.
I'm pleased to have found it.
I am relating ......
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

seraphin
Senior Member

since 2000-09-24

Posts 1004
Michigan

8 posted 2000-10-04 11:08 PM

Thank you all, again. It's a strange thing when you can take the hurt, and bring it out of the mind, and put it on paper. There is a curing effect, until you read what you have written.
Marge, I am grateful for your time in reading my words, but saddened to know you relate. I wish you well. Sandi

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