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Open Poetry #10
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Internet Years
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Internet Years |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
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Onwards, I float past trees, the boughs in ferment, seethed by my southern winds, Antarctic-chilled I'm waiting soon it's a promise, not a guarantee just a hope and a hope for fusion, I'm hard to pin down, resigned to green lands, coloured absent of the blue-sky of your sight, and sighed I'm restless, there you said 'longer than dog years,' I laughed and said 'I'll make a poem of it,' now we're rivalling Milton, the lines of our time unravel, stretch across Pacific tides, these verses their own Lost Paradise, and only words only sounds and scribes, I'll let my skin announce the truth, in time, when the time is then, now we say 'not long', and 'too long' follows, for we know the wait too well to wait these weeks again |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Kamla Dear Kamla, you my friend are simply amazing!!! It's like I could hear your thoughts, loved every line but especially these...... only sounds and scribes, I'll let my skin announce the truth, in time, when the time is then, now we say 'not long', and 'too long' follows, for we know the wait too well to wait these weeks again Excellent work SB!!  |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
very nice severn! i like this a lot i like the way it talks..i feel like i witnessed the conversations first hand hugs,dg theres no such thing as a failure who keeps trying--coasting to the bottom is the only disgrace. -j popper |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
I'd like to see your skin over here in Pa. I was just thinking about you and your name popped up on the screen Aren't these internet years wonderful I loved your poem reaching out as it did You are a wonderful writer, as I've said a thousand times, so you must know it by now. And how I've missed seeing you on te screen Love you Liz |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
But the wonder of being together is well worth the wait! *S* This is great! |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Kamla - This poem is exquisitely remarkable for the longing and need to not long. You have captured so well the parting and the need to get on with life, because the stasis is not stasis, it is Hell, and it's riding right down the middle of your timeline. beautiful words, Kamla. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Kamla, wonderful as always my friend. . . I wonder, just how many "real" years are in an Internet year?? Something to think about. . . Excellent. . . -------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Kamla...Time is so relative...but your poetry is always excellent...so glad to see you sweet one!! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Wow! It's almost like you wrote this for me. I definitely know the feelings in this, 100%. A sigh K. C. |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Hi Severn.....This is a splendid write! ...chanson~ Music, tonal clear & pure, Caresses the harshest of curves. -Song of Gesture |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
This is an awesome poem Severn - well done! Just how long is an internet year? LOL It sometimes seems like forever! J. |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
"almost" yes ..lol.... but not quite - poor deluded C ... she wrote it for ME of course ... heh  P |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
*Philip and Kamla, sitting in a tree...* I'm jealous!!! |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
ok ...lol .... that's it - I can die happy now, ambition achieved: Chris jealous!!!!!!!!!! YAYYYYYYYYY!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ oh btw i meant to say before excellent poem as well....... mind you now i come to think of it Line 5 ...hummm ..not so sure i ...oh wow ..oops sorry forgot i'm in Open ....~removes fingers well away from the critique keys~ ... ok i shall just settle for a "WOW" ... SP |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Suuuuuuure Philip - Rub it in! *sulk* And K - I had a prob with line #5 too...  |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Mmy - lol...amazing hey? You silly thing you...thanks poppit...hey - and you DO get to hear my thoughts cause I screech them at you all the time...! Love ya dg - thankyou! The great irony is that I wish I could witness the conversation first hand...lol Lizzy - smiles. You know your endorsement of my writing means so much right? Thankyou very very much. And I love you too.Suthern...ah yes...it is just that waiting and I are not the best of friends (in fact - I think it has gone into hiding in the bush - I'm out for it's blood you see...lol) Thankyou. Dear Lngy - fighting something you can't fight - that's the essence of the thing. Thankyou for the beautiful - tis much appreciated! Sven - it is, it is - thanks. Martie - so nice to see you too...as always. And thankyou dear friend. C - have a sigh back hey...100% huh? Wooooow... chansondegeste - thankyou so much... Hey J - how goes it over there? Seen M lately? Thanks for stopping by! And internet years are longer than dog years you see...so makes for a looooooooong time Now...er.....yes P AND C Sigh. Yeah. Well...um. (Help someone - how do I get away from these....nutters...?) Now...about line 5...it stays. I don't particularly like it either - unfortunately it just fits SO well... and you will never find me up a tree with Philip... dangerous thing to do. K"He looked across the silky surface of the Severn... it was a famously difficult river with fierce tides..." From Jack Maggs |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Hey, Severny One, it's me...the internet guy you used to talk to and pretend was alive!! That's ok...I'll just hang around and be happy with any small glimpse of you fate allows me.....like this one |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
quote: ~looks around everywhere puzzled~ .....but ..but ..this is OPEN no nutters hereabouts suuuuuuurrrrrrely ... there must be some mistake dear ..  ~~~~~~ and C .. gawd i'm a sucker for sulks .....cuddles - didn't mean anything ... friends? - [This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 09-30-2000).] |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"we're rivalling Milton, the lines of our time unravel, stretch across Pacific tides, these verses their own Lost Paradise, and only words" I loved your thoughts in this Kamla, they flowed beautifully and smoothly. I enjoyed the "wait and anticipation" you've built into the lines, very nicely done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
woops! My response doubled up on a connection timeout Kamla ... guess I really wanted you to know how much I liked this one!  [This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 09-30-2000).] |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Severn, a great poem here,I would love to hear it spoken, but I guess I'll just have to settle for the images it created in my head. Be well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
oh yuh well worth a second trip |
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