navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #7 » Till Stars Grow Old ....... (A Love Sonnet for Sven's Joust challenge)
Open Poetry #7
Post A Reply Post New Topic Till Stars Grow Old ....... (A Love Sonnet for Sven's Joust challenge) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON

0 posted 2000-06-09 08:45 PM


My first attempt at a Shakespearian Sonnet,
for the challenge.

Till Stars Grow Old  

Love me, today, for now I breathe and live,
And young though hardly without pain or ache;
I’ve waited, and for you this heart I give,
Who knows of morn, my breath this Earth may take?

In you the song of life is new to sing,
But know that life may run to moment's end,
And without bliss, that at your door does ring,
A sad refrain will bleed this lover's pen;

And I may leave this life a hollow'd soul,
Without your kiss of bliss upon my lips;
So dust may be this lovers final toll,
An empty heart that I would never miss;

But true to you I am till stars grow old,
To hear your vow before my blood goes cold.

James Parker Haley    ©June 9, 2000






[This message has been edited by Haleyja (edited 06-10-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 James Haley - All Rights Reserved
A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
1 posted 2000-06-09 08:51 PM


Thy poetry , dear knight will never grow old,
As long as the stories of thy heart is told,
For memories I shall behold,  
Beautiful chords thy heart has played,
instrument of love has thy hand displayed,
Into this court on knee I bow,
I am speechless with WOW!
WOW ROMEO!


[This message has been edited by A Romantic Heart (edited 06-09-2000).]

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2000-06-09 08:54 PM


Parker, what a beautiful, well done sonnet!  Bravo!
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2000-06-09 08:55 PM


Truly, I am torn now, Parker...

just how IS the winner decided?  But, I must admit, I am enjoying the feast...

"an empty heart that I would never miss..."

serenity sighs, blushing and batting eyelashes....

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
4 posted 2000-06-09 09:01 PM


How crafty you are, Parker! First you write a love sonnet that is perfect in detail and would charm the fleas off a dog and then you say it's your first one. HAH! You've obviously been practicing them for years to come up with one this good. I AM NOT FOOLED!  
Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
5 posted 2000-06-09 09:17 PM


Balladeer,
I kid you not,
this is the first..
I ever bought,
Long John he sold me all the rhymes,
and said it was your best,
from younger times...
So thank you deer for all this stuff,
I only removed the dainty fluff.  

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2000-06-09 09:18 PM


well, when your good...your REALLY good...
brown eyes is smiling...
you were right when you said special and a surprise
how many times have i nagged you about the sonnet... LOL
P-man this is exquisite...
and these are not easy to do...
ever line is perfect Bliss...
Im gonna have to buy you a new pedestal
in honor of this event *smile*
Excellent sonnet...beautiful poem
love to see a man who works so hard on his poetry     LOL
later-sweetsonnet-gator
jm

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
7 posted 2000-06-09 09:31 PM


Extremely good, well written and just flowed wonderfully
Loved it tracie~


 Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2000-06-09 09:43 PM


Parker,

Superb sonnet!!!  I am thinking you have done this before!!  Very well written and just leaves me speechless.  

LW


 Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end.
--Michael W. Smith

Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
9 posted 2000-06-09 10:02 PM


Scouts Honor, this is my very first sonnet, Honest. I didn't think it was all that good. But I must thank Denise and Nan and David2 for having so much available to me for insite, and I hope I followed the rules somewhat.

A Romantic Heart, fair Lady I kiss thy hand.  

Martie, thank you for the encouragement.

serenity, would a kiss help the fair maiden
decide... thank you.  

Balladeer, I thank you, once a fool always a fool.

Janet, which ones this time, gold inlayed pedistals....

tracie66, my thanks for liking, please put your vote in the box.

Lone Wolf, everybody thinks I've done this before, thanks for that, its a wonderful compliment.  

Parker

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
10 posted 2000-06-09 10:10 PM


Oh, bard of sonnets sung so soft,
holding maidens' hearts aloft,
doth thou see the longing there?
Ink of his pen, dear words take care,

She casts aside her fear and woe,
to be with her one and only Romeo.

Corinne


First__Knight
Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678

11 posted 2000-06-09 10:16 PM


Very well done Sir......Indeed well done

 It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.


Marina
Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario
12 posted 2000-06-09 11:24 PM


Well....you know it is OK and everything.  But I think I have to check out the other guys before I make a final decision!  So I will get back to you......if you qualify for my final round!  LOL  

Marina

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
13 posted 2000-06-10 01:33 AM


Your verse has brought a single tear
to the eye of this fair maid tonight
but I shall not proclaim you winner
for it would not be right

Miles to go before I sleep
mountains of verse my heart to keep.

good one sir!

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
14 posted 2000-06-10 01:39 AM


Brave Knight Parker,

It would seem that thou hast reached into thy mind
To see what inspiration thou couldst find
To give to this assembled hall here
Thou has written a poem that has inspired tears. . .

The Master himself would indeed be proud
To see this poem that thou hast proclaimed so loud
So, Brave Knight Paker, I do indeed this night
Proclaim you the winner of this round of the fight!!

Really good Parker, I can't say enougu about it. . . your first attempt???  RIGHT!!!!

------------------------------------------------------


 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

15 posted 2000-06-10 09:09 AM


AND THE WINNER GOES UP TO THE TOP!!!

gold plated and velvet lined pedestals P-man

later-sexy-sonnet-gator
jm

Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
16 posted 2000-06-10 01:39 PM


Corinne, your poetic response has touched my heart so, to dream of being that one and only Romeo... thank you sweet poet.  

First_Knight, I bow to you Sir. Lancelot you have honored me so. thank you good knight.

Marina, now who's stalling, be fair, don't let other bias's get in the way with your vote. Sir Knight will still smile for thee.

Poet deVine, if I have brought a tear, then I have won my battle, the joust is just prestiege, a heart is all matters.  

Sven, Sir King, you honor me so, but I fear this first attempt will just stir the field so. Thank you and yes it is my first sonnet, if you search all my poems you wont find one...honest. I fear that I may never match it again.  

Janet, so fair maid, don't get them pedistals out yet, Oh, your not talking about the competition type pedistals are ye. Oh, you turn a knight's tanned skin bright red...   

Parker



MagnoliaBlue
Member
since 2000-05-12
Posts 367

17 posted 2000-06-10 07:56 PM


OOOOHH PARKER....WHEW!!

You got my vote!!!  

Be still my heart!

Are you sure this is your first attempt?

Wonderful Sonnet!!!

MagnoliaBlue


 Pay a visit to:
http://cyberageadventures.com
You will love it!

"A poem is just an expression of my life and heart."*CJB*

~*My Skipper Jim,
I love you!
Your Lady June*~

X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon
18 posted 2000-06-11 12:25 PM


absolutely divine sir! I drop my handkerchief to thy feet in awe!

Heather

Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
19 posted 2000-06-11 02:00 AM


X Angle and Blue, thank you so much. I'm overwhelmed that it got this kind of response.

Parker

Marina
Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario
20 posted 2000-06-11 02:15 AM


I'm not the least bit surprised!  For your first attempt at a Sonnet, it was truly an obiviuos sign that you have a hidden talent for this.  I look forward to your next Sonnet, I know there will be one........sometime!  LOL    

Marina


[This message has been edited by Marina (edited 06-11-2000).]

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
21 posted 2000-06-11 03:05 AM


Well, I'd say Balladeer's comment about fleas on a dog certainly killed my mood!  This had me reeling with romantic delight, until then!  (coughing on Balladeer with a snarl!)  
Beautiful writing sir....left me breathless for sure!  You are indeed, a poetic Romeo.  This one was not so easily inscribed.  The rhyme was divine....

 "Fantasies enrich our lives to the fullest, but true satisfaction comes from creating your own story in the real world! Live out your fantasies & make a storybook with beautiful pictures for the world to enjoy! -poetFemme


Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
22 posted 2000-06-11 10:35 AM


Marina, well thanks and I may try again, who knows.

Femme, thank you so much, Balladeer's dog needed a good flee dusting anyway...lol
I'm glad you liked it.

Parker

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #7 » Till Stars Grow Old ....... (A Love Sonnet for Sven's Joust challenge)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary