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bird

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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


0 posted 06-08-2000 12:26 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

it resonates with flight, eyes dark jewels, the bird into the air, fast beats moving small paper wrappers. it resonates with the ache of wanting to be part of the sky. it resonates with the simple pleasure of the air. currently, this bird flies.

© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 06-08-2000 01:09 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

very cool imagery, I cant wait to hear
what inspired this...its never what I guess...trying to figure out the small paper wrappers  
later cool metaphor gator
jm/bs

 I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem
I'm feeling ...
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
cuz there's a little bit of something me...
In everything in you.
~MB20~

"What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly"
~Lao Tze Tao~
~Butterflies are meant to be free~

X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


2 posted 06-09-2000 11:32 PM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

Great idea....I think IMHO that you should embellish this and post it in Prose. It's a slower forum, but has some awesome writers!
Good job!
~Heather
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


3 posted 06-09-2000 11:52 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

YEA---what she said...
I wish for some BSQ prose too...
then i can get my fixx in two forums  
please please pretty please ...
with butterfly slippers on top *smile*

(can you tell i've had too much rasberry iced tea tonite)    
see I even gave you some candy buttons too  
later cool-mike-gator  
jm/bs
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


4 posted 06-10-2000 12:37 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

you said it, sweet, "it resonates..."

Smiles.  Me much better, now.  How 'bout you?
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


5 posted 06-10-2000 02:46 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks all for reading. My one question: why embellish -- add filler -- to something that can be said in so few words? This has a long way to travel before it's prose, and that's not its point.

And to serenity,
Doing fine. A little p'ssed about what happened at work today -- I got reprimanded for writing poetry on the clock, but it goes deeper than that. Let's not even get into it.

Mike
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


6 posted 06-10-2000 03:02 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Mike--"poetry on the clock" is ONE great theme/title/line....if ya haven't done so already, take that ball and run with it....

Luv, S'en
 
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