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Passions in Poetry

Too Long

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SpitFire
Member Elite
since 04-19-2000
Posts 2428


0 posted 06-07-2000 02:32 PM       View Profile for SpitFire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for SpitFire

Too Long

angular positions falsely rest
lids burn with every wink
aches in cranium pounding
mind unable to think

draft enters brushing skin
bumps of discomfort in view
expressionless first face
not knowing what to do

clawlike nails picking
fanglike teeth grinding
hair hanging down
it continues she is finding

too long to count the days
to remember exactly how it felt
to rest her weary body
before she slowly began to melt.

© Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


1 posted 06-07-2000 02:37 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Sounds like someone's getting a   burn

Great job!



 Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 04-19-2000
Posts 2428


2 posted 06-07-2000 02:45 PM       View Profile for SpitFire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SpitFire

~Wow,...now that I reread it ...that theory so sounds like it applies.  It's actually about continuous sleepless nights,..but it's so neat to see how something you write will be interpreted by readers.  I find it interesting and fun too, to see what your writing does to others...and see what they can take from it.  Thank you Sunshine for reading....it means a lot. . Take care. *Peace.
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


3 posted 06-07-2000 03:01 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

hey, there, ya lil Spitfire (I always wanted to say that to a young lady), I thought the poem was about sleeplessness over a lost love.  I wasn't too far off, was I.  Incidently, it made me feel real weary - so I guess you nailed it.  Great job!
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


4 posted 06-07-2000 03:51 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

I'm with Lngjhn... first thought was sleeplessness... 'course it's a curse I'm forced to bear, so since I relate...
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


5 posted 06-07-2000 04:10 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Sleepnesses into a nightmare, yes?  Funny, we seem to have this in common, Spitfire!

Corinne
EagleOne
Member Elite
since 03-07-2000
Posts 2858
Between a laugh and a tear...


6 posted 06-07-2000 05:05 PM       View Profile for EagleOne   Email EagleOne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for EagleOne

I too find it interesting to see how others interprete my work, it's all a perspective thing! Great work SpitFire!

 God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Unknown


amazon_lover
Member
since 04-09-2000
Posts 491
Dublin,Ireland


7 posted 06-07-2000 05:08 PM       View Profile for amazon_lover   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for amazon_lover

Hi Spitfire
Hope you're not straining yourself very much. Take good care of health and mind.

Sincerely
A_L
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 11-15-1999
Posts 1691
Georgia, Fulton


8 posted 06-07-2000 05:39 PM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

Great peace Spitfire, and I hope you get a great suntan!

 Nathan
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 04-19-2000
Posts 2428


9 posted 06-07-2000 06:02 PM       View Profile for SpitFire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SpitFire

~LngJhn,...thanks for reading.  Lots of people have been calling me 'Lil SpitFire....it's cool...I like.   hehe.  Glad you picked up on the sleeplessness part...but sorry to make you weary.

~Christopher,...thank you for taking the time to read.  I remember you once saying how you had this very same problem...yuck huh?

~Corinne,...I know.  Right after I posted this I read and replied to yours and was just shaking my head...too wierd.  Hope you find some rest soon.  Take care.

~Eagle One,...thanks for reading.  Yeah it is interesting to see other's perspectives.  Thanks for the Great Work.

~Amazon_Lover,...thank you for the concern and the kind, kind words. Take care.  

~Nate Dogg,...It seems you and Sunshine think alike....pretty cool.  Thank you for reading.  Happy to see your interpretation.  Take care. Thanks again.

*Peace.
Irie
Senior Member
since 12-01-1999
Posts 1526
Washington State


10 posted 06-07-2000 06:29 PM       View Profile for Irie   Email Irie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irie

I've had a few of those nights myself.
In fact, just had one last night, or was it the night before?
LOL, anyway, great poem and I can relate with
this one well.


 ~Sheri
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 03-16-2000
Posts 5900
Lansing, MI USA


11 posted 06-07-2000 08:45 PM       View Profile for Lone Wolf   Email Lone Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lone Wolf

Spit Fire,

I have had some of those nights myself.  I hope you do get some rest my friend.  Can't keep going on and on without any sleep.  Good writing!!  

LW


 Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end.
--Michael W. Smith
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