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Open Poetry #7
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Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462


0 posted 2000-06-07 01:34 PM



What is that was, shall never be,
Adrift upon, Sargasso Sea,
Fore and aft, ship's rigging bare,
Still the waves, calm winds forebear.

'Cross timbered deck, no sailor creeps,
As in night's sky, Polaris weeps,
Fog's distant bank, at eventide,
Shields yonder shore, mist, reef does hide.

Barnacled and weathered beams,
Hold back the tide, of saline dreams,
Figurehead of Goddess fair,
Cracked and faded, salted air.

Slowly drifting, thoughts unspoken,
Uncharted waters, sextant broken,
What is that was, shall never be,
Marooned upon Sargasso Sea.

© Copyright 2000 Mike - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2000-06-07 01:50 PM


This is a very relaxing, calming, albeit mysterious piece...I can hear the timbers creaking as the ship rocks...

 Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~


Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
2 posted 2000-06-07 02:09 PM


'Cross timbered deck, no sailor creeps,
As in night's sky, Polaris weeps,
Fog's distant bank, at eventide,
Shields yonder shore, mist, reef does hide.
...
Slowly drifting, thoughts unspoken,
Uncharted waters, sextant broken,
What is that was, shall never be,
Marooned upon Sargasso Sea.

-------
Marooned!!!! Plundering typhoons!!!

I can feel the slow splash of the sea water; hurting a marooned sailor here...
Excellent is the right word here, Mike...
Great show!

Regards, sudhir.


 Hey you, out there in the cold,
Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me?
Hey you, standing in the aisle,
With itchy feet and fading smile, can you feel me?
Hey you, don't help them to bury the light.
Don't give in without a fight.
Hey you, out there on your own,
Sitting naked by the phone, would you touch me?
Hey you, with your ear against the wall,
Waiting for someone to call out, would you touch me?
Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I'm coming home....

by Roger Waters (Pink Floyd) - The Wall

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
3 posted 2000-06-07 02:41 PM


arrrgghhh, Miguel me lad... ye been there, I can tell.  Good poem - I like the way you lead me into the last verse - desperate, man - depserate
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2000-06-07 05:05 PM


Hey there Mike, might there be a ghost or two on board...tis likely I think....what a wonderful mood you have created with this poem.  Bravo!
Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2000-06-07 05:06 PM


Hey there Mike, might there be a ghost or two on board...tis likely I think....what a wonderful mood you have created with this poem.  Bravo!
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2000-06-07 05:06 PM


Hey there Mike, might there be a ghost or two on board...tis likely I think....what a wonderful mood you have created with this poem.  Bravo!
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
7 posted 2000-06-07 07:15 PM


Wow oh wow, I am in awe at your ability to give your words "sound"....!!  I'm with Sunshine there, I could hear the creaking, and the water under the boat....Oh man, this is one of your best in my opinion!!  I love the whole feeling this gave me, as I love poetry of boats, the sea and all.  Fabulously written sir!  

 "Fantasies enrich our lives to the fullest, but true satisfaction comes from creating your own story in the real world! Live out your fantasies & make a storybook with beautiful pictures for the world to enjoy! -poetFemme


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
8 posted 2000-06-07 07:39 PM


It seems to me, Mike, that you selected each word with care in this piece to give each line and stanza just the right melody and flavor. A very commendable job....
Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

9 posted 2000-06-07 11:14 PM


Sunshine... thank you for the comment, twas in a wee bit of a reflective mood when I wrote the poem.  Glad you enjoyed.
Sudhir... Appreciate the gracious comment.
LngJhnAg... now why did I think you might appreciate this one...
Martie, Martie, Martie...lost in the Bermuda triangle are we? hehe  Thank you muchly my friend.
Ms. Femme... you a member of the Arkansas navy? smile...  well aware the fantastic lakes you have... truly appreciate the comments.
Balledeer...  as usual, you hit the nail on the head...  trying to set a mood, it appears that I succeeded as least a bit... thanks.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2000-06-08 07:38 AM


Mike~
This is simply marvelous.
The vividness of the imagery
fairly timbered the page.
Wonderful.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


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