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Open Poetry #7
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~A Portrait of Complacency~
| Open Poetry #7 |
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~A Portrait of Complacency~ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Alas...me muse is again making me beg for every line...*sigh* repost from DP ~A Portrait of Complacency~ She starts her day...the exact same way... drowsily stumbling down the hall, 2 cups of coffee, 2 antidepressants, and 2 Tylenol. Still unsure of exactly just when ... she lost complete control, not realizing the pain of the past had finally taken its toll. She consoles herself with the all too often release of her tears... but crying alone cant bring her back--from too many losses in too few years. So she sits and stares out the window ... for hours upon end... and in her journal she writes love letters ...that she will never send. There was a time when she had tasted love's sweet intensity ... but that too was taken away ... so many things seem--simply just not meant to be. She holds on to his memory, a treasured secret she will never share, She learned a long time ago...her life would never be fair. She's never been a beauty...no ones fantasy or dream-- still she was intriguing, like the butterfly tattoo on her breast, so few had ever seen. Many were drawn to her, sensing the depth of her need and desire, but this kind of love is hard to hold, and eventually they too would tire. Content to be alone, she exchanges company for creating her words of rhyme, she writes in her diary for hours, completely unaware of the passing of time. She has always had this gift ... of being able to capture in ink-her hearts many expressions. With in the journal pages lie a view into her soul and hearts true confession. Inspiration now momentarily lost, to her mind desperately needing rest... another day gone, seemingly without a trace...getting thru the night, her next test. She'll end this day...the exact same way... exhausted, she'll stumble back down the hall... 2 shots of gin, 2 sleeping pills, and 2 more Tylenol. If sleep comes she will accept it, if not she will be fine... she'll write in her journal by candle, begging inspiration for more verse and rhyme. Don't feel too sorry for her, the poetry has kept her alive and sane. She is content here inside herself...she prays that tomorrow will be the same. Janet Marie 2/25/00 This was the result of an assignment from a writing workshop I took recently. The goal was to describe an image of something very drab or void of color and scenery... to give a sense of the mundane or boring, but to include emotions. We were to use as few "colorful" or descriptive adjectives as possible. I just want to say, this is not a true reflection of me, while much of "Me" is woven in the emotions, this is not a self portrait...but I am always aware, but for the grace of God and my writing...it could be...(smile) take care, Janet Marie now where did I put that Tylenol...  < !signature--> I think I could need - this in my life I think I'm just scared - that I know too much I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling ... If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home There's an awful lot of breathing room But I can hardly move If you're gone - baby you need to come home cuz there's a little bit of something me... In everything in you. ~MB20~ "What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly" ~Lao Tze Tao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 06-07-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
JM - whew - I'm glad yu explained this poem - I was about to call out the Fire Department with their nets. Great job of showing loneliness and the longing of the heart. Incidently, your poem used a ton of color - all of it shades of gray - but color, nevertheless. |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Jan I LOVE this poem! I remember when I read it in DP and I liked it so much. I think I like it even better the second go around lol. You write some very vivid images here and bring this piece to life. Thanks for sharing it. Take care! Love ya, Amy "Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is before you can meet again. And meeting again after a moment or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends." "Fate exists but it can only take you so far, Because once you're there It's up to you to make it happen." |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Janet Marie--what an amazing portrait you have painted here...very well done! |
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amazon_lover Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491Dublin,Ireland |
Well Janet it was dull. I pray it feels better now. Sincrely A_L |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
As usual, JM, I loved it. But, then, what of your's have I not? jwesley |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
I wanna see that tatoo on your breast!  and while your at it, send me some of those love letters tucked away in your heart. JM, really enjoyed reading this piece. Such expression, that goes to depth of a person. You lady, are a writer! Thinking of you Gator-Queen! BEH |
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Alle'cram Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816Texas |
Janet Marie, I assume you received a A+; for you did a outstanding job with the criteria. Great read. Marcy |
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
Jan; You scared the.... you know what outa me. I was ready to start three novenas for ya! This is excellent as usual. The sad part is that a lot of people are this sad and unhappy. Wonderful job, I too hope you got the A+ you deserve. Love, Ellie 02 |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
no jokes, no winkey-eys today...Janet Marie---this is just awesome.... |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Janet wow, you captured the sense of routine and borement through this poem which is pretty exciting. Wonderfully written, powerful poem. she writes in her diary for hours, completely unaware of the passing of time. She has always had this gift ... of being able to capture in ink-her hearts many expressions. With in the journal pages lie a view into her soul and hearts true confession. Inspiration now momentarily lost, to her mind desperately needing rest... another day gone, seemingly without a trace...getting thru the night, her next test. ------------------------ "I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else"-Richey Edwards "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "Libraries gave us power Then work came and made us free What price now for a shallow piece of dignity" Nicky Wire, A design for Life. manic street preachers "Rock 'n' roll is our epiphany Culture, alienation, boredom and despair" "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Dazzled by your words and rattled by the feel, I feel lost, amazed by your splendid portrait... simply mesmerising... Janet, I think I should give up writing...or for trying to be good at it is not my forte anymore... A belittled me, I offer you, My utter surrender, With many regards, Sudhir. Hey you, out there in the cold, Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me? Hey you, standing in the aisle, With itchy feet and fading smile, can you feel me? Hey you, don't help them to bury the light. Don't give in without a fight. Hey you, out there on your own, Sitting naked by the phone, would you touch me? Hey you, with your ear against the wall, Waiting for someone to call out, would you touch me? Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone? Open your heart, I'm coming home.... by Roger Waters (Pink Floyd) - The Wall |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
thanks eveyone... good thing I put up the disclaimer... otherwise you would have sent the men in white coats LOL... you guys are so sweet... yes i got an A *smile* thanks for asking so i could brag  LOLhey DANNY what part of fiction dont you understand LOL LOL... is it or isnt it... (ONLY THE BUTTERFLY ICON KNOWS LOL) and dear sweet SUD...HOW DO I REPLY to such a wonderful reply.. my goodness my kind poet friend... YOU are a fine writer.... never give that up... but how sweet of you to light up my day with that reply... TY to all love ya jm |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Wow!!! Jan, I absotively, posilutely love this. It is very descriptive even without having "descriptive adjectives" All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Jan* You KNOW this is one of my fav's!! Seeing that this was not a self port. it was even more amazing to me that you could go here and capture it with such amazing insight!! S.S. this post was the beginning of our road of friendship...so this one will always be special to me By the wayYou know I prefer Vodka |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
WOW ... what an incredible journey into this soul you have portrayed ... so glad it was not a self-portrait Janet Marie. You placed yourself in her shoes and walked more than a mile with your words! Well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
stopped by again hoping to get a glimpse of that tattoo. hehehehe oh well, where's gemini? no modesty there!  A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives. |
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