How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #7 Archive
 Synonym challenge from Sunshine- Keyword
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Synonym challenge from Sunshine- Keyword "Shine"

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


0 posted 06-06-2000 02:17 PM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Hi all,
Provoked by Karilea's (sunshine) challenge and inspired by Pink Floyd, I chose an epic 'Shine on you Crazy Diamond' to pen this piece.

Picked up the word "Shine" and sought out these synonyms:
lustre, excel, glow, polish, sheen, sparkle, radiance, flame, blaze, gloss, gleam, flash, shimmer, twinkle, flicker, light, luminosity...
Then I decided to make most of this piece of education.

Now it is up to all of you to decide and judge whether I have made the most of the words...I hope so...Suggestions are welcome...

To a better tomorrow
---------------------------

Moonlit shadows on the side street,
Distant light, a lustrous shine,
Glimpse, I took from the corner of my eye, I greet,
A sparkle from a faraway star so divine

A slight breeze, my hopes soar high,
A diamond blinks with a serene glow,
I spot the flash, from wilderness, streams of life flow,
Conjoining into a rivulet, I give out a sigh.

I chose to excel, towards polished glories that galore,
Rhyming sentiments, gracious gleam,
Success is an option, winning theme gained substance even more,
Sheen of surreal celestial beauty, it may seem.

A caper that I wished to undertake,
To get myself on a roll, for victory's sake,
Looked at a spider hanging from the neon gloss,
A rolling stone never gathered any moss.

It hurts to lose, but never does to try,
The twinkle from the star did light
A flicker in my heart, I must learn to fly,
Luminous thoughts desired to delight.

The view changed because of a passing cloud,
As I gazed uncertainly at the radiance of the ray,
Hidden, eclipsed by a mere blob, a shroud,
'Is this all that it takes to create a doubt', I say.

A breeze later took the blob away,
Insecurity that raged, in my head, disappeared,
The flame from billions light years away,
Saw a shimmering light, more hopes reappeared.

The flash from the distant star, a single ray
Now flashed in my radiant eyes,
Dark shadows that loomed gave way,
I was now ready to put a blazing flame on the ice.

Towards better days, Cheers!

--------------------




 Hey you, out there in the cold,
Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me?
Hey you, standing in the aisle,
With itchy feet and fading smile, can you feel me?
Hey you, don't help them to bury the light.
Don't give in without a fight.
Hey you, out there on your own,
Sitting naked by the phone, would you touch me?
Hey you, with your ear against the wall,
Waiting for someone to call out, would you touch me?
Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I'm coming home....

by Roger Waters (Pink Floyd) - The Wall


[This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 06-06-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


1 posted 06-06-2000 02:28 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

Well I for one think that you used those words to their fullest extent.

A slight breeze, my hopes soar high,
A diamond blinks with a serene glow,
I spot the flash, from wilderness, streams of life flow,
Conjoining into a rivulet, I give out a sigh.


The flash from the distant star, a single ray
Now flashed in my radiant eyes,
Dark shadows that loomed gave way,
I was now ready to put a blazing flame on the ice.

Beautiful magically and wonderful. loved this poem esplecially the line

I was now ready to put a blazing flame on the ice.



 ------------------------
"I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else"-Richey Edwards

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"Libraries gave us power
Then work came and made us free
What price now for a shallow piece of dignity"
Nicky Wire, A design for Life.

manic street preachers
"Rock 'n' roll is our epiphany
Culture, alienation, boredom and despair"

"To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

E.E Cummings.


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


2 posted 06-06-2000 02:35 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Oh my, you did a remarkable job with "Shine"...I will have to move over and let the real talent in...

You take a challenge, dear Sir, and meet it well!

 Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


3 posted 06-06-2000 02:41 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Sudhir--I liked very much---and wasn't it fun to do?

A flicker in my heart, Imust learn to fly,
Luminous thoughts desired to delight...

Beautiful!
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


4 posted 06-07-2000 04:46 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Brian, Karilea, Serenity
This was real fun to do...I  enjoyed myself and then thought to myself, did I wrtite this? Well thats the beauty of the challenge in itself...

Brian,
I am glad that you liked this one and thank you for reading and selecting what is also my best line from the poem.... a nice ending, I say to myself... Thanks again.

Karilea,
Thanks for your beautiful words, but me still thinks that a flash in the pan cannot replace the bright dazzling sunshine...
Thanks once again.

Serenity,
Yes this was very much fun to do, I enjoyed your poems on the challenge too. Thanks for the 'beautiful' and thanks for reading...


regards to all,
Sudhir

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


5 posted 06-07-2000 05:52 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

I must have missed this challenge somehow Sudhir, but you clearly met it well. You've incorporated all of these words so eloquently to create a lovely, flowing and picturesque verse!

Best wishes,
/Kit
Alle'cram
Senior Member
since 02-28-2000
Posts 1827
Texas


6 posted 06-07-2000 08:02 AM       View Profile for Alle'cram   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alle'cram

Superb job meeting the challenge. A work of art you have penned, kind sir. Thanks, marcy
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


7 posted 06-07-2000 12:20 PM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Kit,
Thank you for your praises, I really appreciate your words....

Marcy,
a work of art! eh? Thanks a lot...
I am glad you liked it.

Regards, sudhir.
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


8 posted 06-07-2000 12:46 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Enjoyed this much, you worked hard on this one, great job!

Corinne
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


9 posted 06-08-2000 03:56 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

I did?
Thanks Corinne, very glad that you enjoyed this...

regards, sudhir
 
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #7 >> Synonym challenge from Sunshine- Keyword Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors