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Passions in Poetry

The Votes are IN (Women are not allowed to read this poem)

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LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


0 posted 06-05-2000 03:27 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for LngJhnAg

The responses say what I thought they would,
About who is good at being sickenly good,
And tis no surprise on the tally sheet
‘Deer and Parker are in a dead heat.

Whereas......

I'll thank all the ladies for their open trust,
A gentleman always, I respect their busts.
I'll only peak down their loose necklines,
When I know they aren't following my eyes.

I only brush against their tight shirts
Or touch curves hidden by their thin skirts,
When I know they think it was by chance,
That I touched them softly with my hands.

I never disrobe them with my eyes,
If they do it for me as a surprise.
(My birthday is in a month or two,
Have you their peekshures?  That will do.)

A pirate gentleman is my manly way,
Who the ladies can trust (and obey),
A devil-may-care Errol Flynn type of guy
Who always makes them glad they're alive.

Whereas......

‘Deer, you woo them with flowery verse,
Sweep them off their feet with flattering words,
While all the while you're civilized and couth.
Is THIS what they want?  You KNOW the truth!

You post your poems of love and such,
Thinking THIS is what they need so much.
You act respectful and are contrite.
Don't you know women want a pirate each night?

And.......

Parker, you've made your presence well known,
Acting sweet and innocent; but, its been shown,
Women want men who are bad and uncouth,
Not young like you, but long in the tooth.

You think women like to be told pretty things,
And swoon when you write words they can sing.
But if this was true, why don't women swoon,
When I clear my throat and then loudly croon?

I rest my case, Parker, you've misunderstood,
Girls want somebody like me, rottenly good.
They don't want to feel special and all respected,
They want to be leered at and carefully inspected.

Therefore........(in absentia, of course!)

I thank all the ladies for their confident votes,
Parker and ‘Deer, that's all she wrote.
I've again shown you all what kind of man
Has all the girlies in the palm of his hand.


What???.......  WHAT??!!!!!  The women can read this poem, too???  That's impossible!!!  I have forbidden them from reading this poetry - look at the topic title!  They did anyway???  OMG - I'm dead meat!


Errr... ahhh.... PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!!!!



© Copyright 2000 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


1 posted 06-05-2000 03:45 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Ahem!!! You ole scalawag... This is a blatant attempt to get readers for your poems. *G* You know the surest way to get the ladies to read is to tell them to not! LOL
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


2 posted 06-05-2000 03:48 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Mere pretenders to the crown
Are Sailor, Parker, and Deer
For the finest man that can be found
Is all too seldom here!
The prince of men is sweet Toerag
Wherever he may be
Though he's encumbered with this nag
Of a Number One Fan - that's me!!! *G*
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


3 posted 06-05-2000 03:59 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

I love a man who digs his own grave
your in deep now Pirate-poet--your own butt you cant save
But I always give credit where credit is due...
and for your wit and humor credit is due to you
So you think you have got us ladies all figured out
are you absolutely sure..without a doubt???

Well some of what you say is accurate and true
we women do so love to be charmed by poets like the 3 of you
Deer writes us stories of lost love, and of wisdom and grace
he knows just how to please us and put a contented smile on our face
Parker is the romantic poet who makes us swoon with such ease
and the way he flirts so sweet...well we know hes more than just a tease
Then there is this pirate...who claims his way is best
and he even confesses to peeking in our treasure chest
Well they say confession is good for the soul...
but I think this pirate is digging him self quite a deep hole
I cant wait to see wait to see what the maiden Lorelie has to say about this
me thinks she will be setting you off to sea with out a good-bye kiss
But I must be honest and tell you some things you say are right...
can you keep a secret...I have a peg leg fantasy that keeps me warm at night.
So In closing I will say I must agree...
but why must we choose... I wish to have a taste of all 3  


Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


4 posted 06-05-2000 04:06 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

rofg@I love a man who digs his own grave...
this is great....true to pirate form to be sure  
sea_of_okc
Senior Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 595
Oklahoma City, OK, USA


5 posted 06-05-2000 04:19 PM       View Profile for sea_of_okc   Email sea_of_okc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sea_of_okc

All of the aforementioned poets are fine
I too can write of love so divine
Flowery verse and sweet sentiment
My fantasies follow a different bent

So all these ladies soon shall be
Reading my verse in Adult Poetry
Then my friend, then we shall see
Just what these ladies find sexy...


Nicely done lngjhn. If you are trying to rouse the ladies u done good  
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


6 posted 06-05-2000 04:27 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Sea - thank you very much for your comments - have you noticed all the ladies who REFUSE TO OBEY the signs???  Ooooo, it makes wanna spank 'em all!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


7 posted 06-05-2000 04:34 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Ahem.  Ahem.  If a lady be I, and I is one
then reading this poem shouldn't've been done...
but I did it, and glad to have read, am I...
so now to look Long John straight in the eye...

Dear Mr. John, could it be
that you have spoken most gallantly?
For you think the ladies here
are taken in by Parker and 'Deer...

Don't you know, for the scallywag you are,
that we hold Toe and you up as shining stars?
Albeit you speak from gravelly gutter,
we hear your words clear, right through the stutter...

for if we were to walk up to you
stare you in the eye, and whisper "I too,
want a pirate each night
and tonight, you'll do..."

why behind 'Deer's skirt, and Parker's too,
you'd skitter away, you silly fool, you!

~~~~

What fun, more, more!


 Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~



[This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 06-05-2000).]
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


8 posted 06-05-2000 05:03 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

there seems to be no shortage of pirates and seamen here today
now I see a new poet flirting--
(SEA OF OKC)...and he is quite daring I must say...
I "heard" about your sultry poetic verses of sin ...
someone "told" me about them...but that forum Ive not been in  
you see Im a good girl...I always do as I should...
but sometimes its a DRAG always being good
and that is why I read this..even tho Long John said no ladies may
and then I went to adult...where everyone is making hay  
I was only in there for a minute...or was it an hour...
well either way now I need to take a long cold shower
and LongJohn says he gonna spank us ladies cause we're so bad
Well I do believe it will be the first Pirate spanking I've had  
and now I better take my spanked behind back to work
I've been sneaking in these rhymes but my boss is such a jerk
if I get caught playing in passions on the clock
all my lunch hours and breaks he will dock
But I will take my chances ...
and keep reading these witty posts of verse
I do believe Passions is now under a Pirates curse

Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


9 posted 06-05-2000 05:16 PM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

To woo a lady needs a charm divine,
After all it is she who knows the difference
Between Champagne and sparkling white wine,
A lady or many is again a matter of Providence,
LngJhnAg, the pirate thou art,
Thy efforts might pay you one day, 'tis true,
But beware! Do not throw caution to the winds for the ship is thy heart
The sailor that thou art, it will hurt if thy ship sinks into deep sea blue

Balladeer, Parker, Toerag and Sea,
Attention thou must pay to these ladies,
Passions aroused, wild winds blow free,
Causing the heart to flutter, lacking remedies,
Careful with each of thy steps thou must be,
Proceed with medicine for all love's maladies...

---------------------

I am having fun...

regards, sudhir


 Hey you, out there in the cold,
Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me?
Hey you, standing in the aisle,
With itchy feet and fading smile, can you feel me?
Hey you, don't help them to bury the light.
Don't give in without a fight.
Hey you, out there on your own,
Sitting naked by the phone, would you touch me?
Hey you, with your ear against the wall,
Waiting for someone to call out, would you touch me?
Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I'm coming home....

by Roger Waters (Pink Floyd) - The Wall


[This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 06-05-2000).]
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


10 posted 06-05-2000 05:50 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Ohhhhhhh Long John,

You seem to be forgetting JUST ONE THING,
on your finger is THERE NOT A RING???

I seem to recall the song of lorelei,
so you scallywag don't serve us up these lies!

The sea is full of bigger fish for fryin',
so don't leave the girls here a'cryin!

You can't be in the vote,
nor can you pirate this boat,
you cannot even keep it afloat,
so never more shall you gloat!

LOL - I am having fun with this, stop me if I get too carried away, aaaaaaand, I just read the responses not the poem, honest!

Corinne
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 3084


11 posted 06-05-2000 05:51 PM       View Profile for CocoBaci   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CocoBaci

This was so amusing and quite a tease ~ very nice poetry Pirate Man!
I had to peak at this one
Coco  
pandora
Member
since 07-26-99
Posts 253


12 posted 06-05-2000 06:14 PM       View Profile for pandora   Email pandora   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for pandora

ooooohhhhhh, i LOVE a bad boy pirate!

yum!

(your title said 'women' and i'm a just a LADY who's got a thing for the adventurous type... so i thought it was ok for me to read this and i'm glad i did!!)

uh... whoops... hi lorelei... ummm... just passing through... 'scuse me. *grin*
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


13 posted 06-05-2000 09:13 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

LJ leave it to you to order us not to read! LOL! Well, how many bad girls have broke the rules already ROFL!! Miss ya bud!
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


14 posted 06-05-2000 09:36 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Leave it to a pirate to be crafty! You are so transparent..ordering the ladies not to read and then trying to spank the ones who did! Oh, you evil Blueberry, er, beard! These gals ain't dumb, yanno? Some of them are gonna come over there and beat you senseless with their barnacles, I mean, bare knuckles.
  Parker and I understand that ladies appreciate being treated with dignity and kindness while you want them to walk the plank into your waterbed and now Sea of OKC is trying to lure them over to Adult. Shoulda known that a pirate and the Sea go together! Is it any wonder that irate, trap, rat, tear, rip and tripe can all be made from the word "pirate"?
     Take all the polls you want being the polecat you are. Parker and I will be the choice of discriminating damsels....and I'm working on a way to get rid of him!!!!

Janet Marie....no shortage of seamen? YOU CRACK ME UP!!!!
Lorelei54
Member
since 07-27-99
Posts 486


15 posted 06-05-2000 10:35 PM       View Profile for Lorelei54   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lorelei54

I have but two words to say to ya old sailor..."BAD BOY"

Amen to Corinne "You seem to be forgetting JUST ONE THING,
on your finger is THERE NOT A RING???

I seem to recall the song of lorelei,
so you scallywag don't serve us up these lies!"

and  to Sunshine "for if we were to walk up to you
stare you in the eye, and whisper "I too,
want a pirate each night
and tonight, you'll do..."

why behind 'Deer's skirt, and Parker's too,
you'd skitter away, you silly fool, you!"

and I too agree with Janet Marie ...if he can play...so can I!!!

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


16 posted 06-05-2000 11:09 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

Mr. Long John, you're such a stinker!  You knew full well that disobedient women such as myself would go peaking their noses here!  ROTF at you as always!  You've got the touch, Sir.  

 *Krista Knutson*

"Thought is real, physical is the illusion..." Albert from ~What Dreams May Come~


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


17 posted 06-05-2000 11:27 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

OH Long John now your in trouble
Lorelei caught you, you better run on the double
Hell hath no fury like a sea maiden scorned
I tried to tell you...you cant say you werent warned
Come with me and Corinne, Lorelei...
we'll find us some sailors off on Leave...
we'll get them drunk and give them a lusty reprieve  
Its like you said-- two can play this game
We will have such a good time ...
you'll forget all about ole whats his name LOL
We can have a beach party...
and bonfire on the sandy shore
And those two sorry pirates, we will ignore.
But they know we wont stay mad long...
how could we when they sing Lorelei's song
We will just act like it till we make them say please...
cause the best place for a drunken pirate is on their knees...


Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


18 posted 06-05-2000 11:43 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Um, excuse me??    

Has anyone noticed that the name of SVEN has been left off of this ballot??  Who among those named has his finger on the pulse of romance?

Who has been named "King of Romance" by those gentle ladies assembled here?

You sir, are a mere pretender to the crown!!  And I challenge thee and all those who would usurp me to a challenge of words. . . to create a poem that will melt the heart of even the most *ahem* (pardon the term ladies) "frigid" of them!!!    

The gauntlet has been thrown gentlemen. . . will you accept??

---------------------------------------------------------


 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl



[This message has been edited by Sven (edited 06-05-2000).]
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


19 posted 06-05-2000 11:47 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

What! These ladies snuck in!!!??? And here I had a quick sex change operation just to be able to read this. Shoot!!

Signed,
Bob deVine
Parker
Member Elite
since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


20 posted 06-06-2000 12:18 AM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

Sven, we don't want to know where that romancing finger's been.... please get ye back to adult, and please pick up your leather gauntlets too. How dare you call these wonderful sensual warm ladies "frigid".
Hay, looks like Balladeer is trying to sneak off with your gauntlets, well you'd better go chase him..... me thinks thats what he wants you to do..... on second thought you'd probably better run... lol



[This message has been edited by Haleyja (edited 06-06-2000).]
netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


21 posted 06-06-2000 12:22 AM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

NEVER tell me no. LOL
Great and fun poem -- enjoyed it muchly

~netswan
Parker
Member Elite
since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


22 posted 06-06-2000 12:31 AM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

Long John, Long John,
You so funny today...
You can't fool our ladies
With that carefully chosen name!

I've heard the rumors,
They've seen the pics
It ain't really that long
Now they're really, really ticked

Yes I was talking about that wooden leg
With its neon lighted battery bay
And that vibrating option you've install
Tripping on your face, when it accidentally turns on

And all those girlie's in your palm,
Gets your ticker going…
When plastic Barbie sings her song
But you ain't Ken, so she starts to bawl

And oh, disdain, disdain for lovely Lorelei
My heart goes out to her, shame all those lies
She's so sweet and warm like a summer night
A romance she needs, to forget old pirate blight

Those sweet lovely words in the Song of Lorelei
Ha, I know you stole them from good boy Balladeer
While he slept off your mangy scuttle butt rum
Thing is I sold them to him, like all his really good stuff

Of course you two know I love you both to death
Hack, hack, sorry coughed up a hair ball their
What was in that cookie Long John, tastes like chicken
Lorelei, have you checked to see where the cat is lately?
What flavor was that, err I mean breed, I'm allergic to tabby….

Well, ladies I think we need a recount here…
I'm not saying you should vote for me,
Just consider your other choices….
And I can tell you; Toe would probably want me
To protect your virtues from these scallywags…
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


23 posted 06-06-2000 02:29 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

So many men  ... so little time
which one to choose based on his rhyme
Now Sven has stepped up and thrown his hat in the ring
he is the romantic poet who makes a certain songbird sing  
Long John you've got your work cut out for you
and dont forget sweet Lorelei is still stirred up into a brew  
Parker has asked us ladies to reconsider our vote
he's such a sweetie, Id love to sail on his love boat  
but tonight Balladeer wrote me such a sweet reply post  
and it sounds like fun sailing on a pirate's ship from coast to coast  
I just dont know HOW us girls are supposed to choose...
maybe we should flip a coin...heads WE win... tails YOU lose  


[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 06-06-2000).]
Irie
Senior Member
since 12-01-1999
Posts 1526
Washington State


24 posted 06-06-2000 03:35 AM       View Profile for Irie   Email Irie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irie

OH GOODIE!
Sven has started a duel. I can't wait to see
the results of this..
If anyone accepts!  
And Btw: Great poem Sir.
Even though I wasn't supposed to read this! LOL


 ~Sheri
 
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