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Passions in Poetry

she does all the right things

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Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


0 posted 06-05-2000 02:58 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Corazon

in her mind she is one
with the dance
she closes her eyes
as he encircles her waist
with his hands
her arms willow
and slowly she bends
turns and sways
safe in his embrace
in his acceptance
humming softly
to the music
they create
gracefully releasing
the pressures
the stress of the day

by habit
her fingers clutch the wheel
and put the turn signal
at the appropriate places
she downshifts to save wear
and tear
she does all the right things
she never exceeds
the speed limit...
on the way
home




[This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 06-05-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved
sea_of_okc
Senior Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 595
Oklahoma City, OK, USA


1 posted 06-05-2000 03:07 PM       View Profile for sea_of_okc   Email sea_of_okc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sea_of_okc

Very nice imagery. I like the break and the harsh change of mood from her serene and beautiful daydreaming to reality. Nice job!
Alle'cram
Senior Member
since 02-28-2000
Posts 1827
Texas


2 posted 06-05-2000 03:30 PM       View Profile for Alle'cram   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alle'cram

Same person, huh.. well, I liked her dancing because I like to dance; liked her routine safety habits driving, (must confess, I can not drive 55); Pretty all round perfect picture you painted.  Good job. marcy
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


3 posted 06-05-2000 03:40 PM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

elegant dancer, habituated by
life's routine ways,
beautiful dreams of love and grace,
each day, with same path pass by...

-------------------------
wonderful work Corazon,

regards, sudhir

 Hey you, out there in the cold,
Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me?
Hey you, standing in the aisle,
With itchy feet and fading smile, can you feel me?
Hey you, don't help them to bury the light.
Don't give in without a fight.
Hey you, out there on your own,
Sitting naked by the phone, would you touch me?
Hey you, with your ear against the wall,
Waiting for someone to call out, would you touch me?
Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I'm coming home....

by Roger Waters (Pink Floyd) - The Wall
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


4 posted 06-05-2000 03:51 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Yeah, right... If she is who I think she is, she puts the pedal to the medal and dares the cops to notice! *G*

The transition from dreamy to numb-minded acceptance is great... Well done!
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


5 posted 06-05-2000 03:53 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

sea, yep stark contrast...you hit it right, thanks  

alle, well, it is not always so perfect, reread the ending...(or lol, maybe its me the poet who needs to do a rewrite) thanks for the read and comments

sudhir, thank you  

suthern, I missed you   aren't you supposed to be busy *bg*...like I wouldn't trade a few minutes of your busy time for a read on my poem in a heartbeat   thanks girl...but still I guess I missed it with this one...the ending says it all....lol...I never never confessed to NOT speeding...just...not on the way home  

[This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 06-05-2000).]
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


6 posted 06-05-2000 04:14 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Sometimes doing the right things (or at least what we believe to be right in our minds) is the only thing that keeps us hanging on. It's hard to learn to do what's "right for us", but I'm learning and I really believe you are too. So take the long way home tonight and spread your wings just a bit and see how great it feels to fly  
Hugs
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


7 posted 06-05-2000 04:16 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

now how could I argue with advise that makes me smile from ear to ear, thanks hoot...am trying...you give me inspiration my friend  
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


8 posted 06-05-2000 11:58 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Madam, you may not always do the right thing but you always do the "write" thing! Every one of your poems puts me right there inside your head....a pretty nice place, really  
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


9 posted 06-06-2000 09:15 AM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

bal you have a way of commenting that makes the author feel good   thanks
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


10 posted 06-06-2000 09:29 AM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Corazon~ this really packs a punch. I enjoyed it.   -SEA
Parker
Member Elite
since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


11 posted 06-06-2000 06:37 PM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

Corazon, you are with the right dance with this one.... I wonder if maybe there isn't a little bit of a speed demon in there...  

Parker
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