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Passions in Poetry

~ Measuring my Emptiness ~

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Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961

0 posted 06-04-2000 03:21 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

~  Measuring my Emptiness ~

Not even realizing, how empty I'd become
Living as two strangers, yet supposedly as "one".
Funny how the weeks turn into months & then to years...
Funny how it's all a haze & I've run out of tears.

Isn't it amazing, to be blinded holding on -
To something that died long ago - love that seemed so strong?
How could I not notice all the emptiness around -
Were my own ears deaf to my cries - does blindness have no sound?

It's been a year now gasping for - each and every breath
Trying to give life to love while shivering close to death.
Living as two strangers, yet supposedly as "one"
Not even realizing just how empty I'd become.

Then it happened, someone in my life for just awhile -
Reached into my frozen heart & warmed it with his smile.
His eyes alive, his laughter rich, he breathed life into me...
Just a few days with this man -  - like sweet insanity.

Funny how with him I feel alive and I can laugh -
Funny how complete I feel, instead of only half.
Isn't it amazing how the emptiness can be -
Measured merely with his touch, I breathe again, I see...

Lying there beside him with our fingers interlaced -
I felt his breathing, heard his sleeping, a knowing on my face...
I hadn't felt that in a year - that warmth and tenderness,
So just before I turned to go, his forehead I did kiss....

"It only takes a spark - to make a fire burn"
Within this young man's arms, that's the one thing I did learn...
I know that soon he will be gone, but I'll always hold him near -
And once again, I do believe, I can reach out without fear...

** Dedicated to Chad W.
by poetFemmeFatale
June 4, 2000

[This message has been edited by poetFemmeFatale (edited 06-04-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Gennifer David - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 12-01-1999
Posts 1526
Washington State

1 posted 06-04-2000 03:34 PM       View Profile for Irie   Email Irie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irie

Have you been peeking into my life?
The first half of this poem fits my life to a "T".
I can relate to this all too well.
Now if I could only find happiness as you did!  

since 05-12-2000
Posts 387

2 posted 06-04-2000 04:02 PM       View Profile for MagnoliaBlue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for MagnoliaBlue

Oh pFF, this is wonderful...such sweet

emotion expressed here.

Yes, reach out without fear...a good lesson

learned, in love.

Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA

3 posted 06-04-2000 05:24 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

To reach without fear indeed. . . to touch that which cannot be seen. . . to show faith. . . a lesson well learned. . .

Just wonderful Gen, glad to see that all of you is now one. . .


 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

4 posted 06-04-2000 06:26 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Wonderful thoughts expressed here, Femme. Makes me curious as to who this person is and the reasons for your comments about him being gone soon. That could place him anywhere in between a traveling salesman and someone with an incurable disease, hopefully neither one of these. Or perhaps your child and the "soon" is relative to when he grows up and goes on his own. AH, sometimes I try to read too much into something and goofily miss the point completely. At least your poem did make me think and it's really excellent writing  
Senior Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 595
Oklahoma City, OK, USA

5 posted 06-04-2000 06:42 PM       View Profile for sea_of_okc   Email sea_of_okc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sea_of_okc

Arghhhhhhhh! Say it isn't so! Someone else stole your heart whilst I was away??? I am very jealous if this guy is real! As always your expressions touch me. Good to read you again, missed it.  
More personally, thinking of your response to one of my efforts in the adult forum ages ago I have posted one you might enjoy...

 Steven Seaman
To thine own self be true...

brian madden
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since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532

6 posted 06-04-2000 07:06 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

an excellent read, thanks for sharing something obviously close to your heart.

"I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else"-Richey Edwards

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"Libraries gave us power
Then work came and made us free
What price now for a shallow piece of dignity"
Nicky Wire, A design for Life.

manic street preachers
"Rock 'n' roll is our epiphany
Culture, alienation, boredom and despair"

"To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

E.E Cummings.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986

7 posted 06-04-2000 09:11 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

well ma' know i loved this one even before i read it...
perfection my dear, perfection,
written from your soul for sure.
you know i relate way too much to the first part of the poem...
and WAY too much to the second part*smile*
why do they always have to go...
*sigh*but im always grateful for the imprints
they leave behind on my heart...
find your contentment in you girl...
the rest will follow.
love ya-gen-gator

 I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem
I'm feeling ...
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
cuz there's a little bit of something me...
In everything in you.

"What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly"
~Lao Tze Tao~
~Butterflies are meant to be free~

Member Elite
since 04-19-2000
Posts 2428

8 posted 06-04-2000 09:29 PM       View Profile for SpitFire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SpitFire

~PFF, glad you felt this again.  This is such a wonderful piece of poetry.  I enjoyed this read,...I enjoyed your descriptions. Thank you for sharing it. *Peace.
Member Elite
since 03-07-2000
Posts 2858
Between a laugh and a tear...

9 posted 06-04-2000 10:14 PM       View Profile for EagleOne   Email EagleOne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for EagleOne

Wow! there is just so much in this that I relate too, wonderfull work!

 God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Unknown

Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961

10 posted 06-05-2000 11:20 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Irie - - I'm sorry you can relate.  I always wondered what makes a person stay locked into an obviously unhappy relationship...?  And then I found myself doing just that.  I heard something once, "It's better to have an old broken down, ugly sofa in the house, than to have nothing to sit on at all..."  Well, I disagree.  If the sofa's not worth sitting on, get rid of it, and stand tall while you look for that perfect piece that compliments your decor!     You get the picture.  LOL  

MagnoliaBlue - - Thank You!  How sweet it is indeed...Many lessons learned lately, but that's a good thing!  

Sven - - I am so near "whole", it scares me!!  LOL

Balladeer - - Uh...thank you for your in-depth thoughts, I think!      ROFL  For obvious reasons, I keep my life on a more discreet level now, so I don't share alot of details...however, I will say, this man is far from a traveling salesman with disease!  ROFL  He is someone who at this time, is only briefly in my life.  I think we crossed paths for a reason.  He has given me hope, and touched me in a very tender way, I had forgotten.  He makes me laugh, and holds me tight.  That's all...In my mind, he's someone I'll run into again, in the future.

Sea of OKC - - * Running * to Adult!  Hi Sea!!     So glad you're back, hopefully for awhile this time??

Brian madden - - *curtsies*  Thank you sir.  This is very close indeed.  So glad you enjoyed reading.

Janet - -  I've found myself believing lately that people come into our lives for many different reasons - most of which we'll probably never understand...To influence us one way or the other. Maybe for just inspiration, maybe to "teach" us a hard lesson, or maybe even to just breathe new life into us for awhile to keep us alive a bit longer....which is the case here.  I think you've had some of that yourself recently.  You have to see the good in everything bad that just have to girl.  

SpitFire - - Thank you!  So glad you liked it!     Thank you for reading!

EagleOne - - I hope you relate to the positive side of this, and not the emptiness...?  Unfortunately, many more know the sadness, and not the elation.  Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed!  

**  Thanks again for the replies.  We are all so lucky to be surrounded by so many wonderfully different people in our lives.  Don't be afraid to make eachother laugh and smile once in awhile.  I've always feared being close to someone, reaching out.  Now that I do, I've found so many others out there are wanting to reach too, we're all just afraid, and we've built shells around ourselves in fear.  Don't be afraid...reach out.  -pFF
Senior Member
since 10-23-1999
Posts 1187
Tulsa, OK, USA

11 posted 06-05-2000 01:33 PM       View Profile for RSEvans   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSEvans

Once again you astonish me...Chad is indeed a lucky man to be able to provide you that which you so badly needed.  We all owe him a debt of gratitude.  I hope you know that you can reach my way in times of need, sister.  Here's hoping that you life as you knew it is forever changed and will never be the same.
Senior Member
since 11-08-1999
Posts 688

12 posted 06-06-2000 01:09 AM       View Profile for First__Knight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for First__Knight

You bring so many feelings with so little words....The mark of the great in poetry PFF

 A man does not love a woman because she is beautiful...But she is beautiful because he loves her.

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