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Passions in Poetry

Put The Toilet Seat UP!! (an ode to men)

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Junior Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 41

0 posted 06-04-2000 02:07 PM       View Profile for Jone   Email Jone   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jone

Every day we listen and hear,
To the women droan on and on in our ear.
They tell us how we are slobs, and we just don't care.
They say, "Put the toilet seat down before I pull out my hair".

But now i think, what is this here?
Is this equality we speak of so dear???
For when a man goes and sees the toilet seat down,
He just lifts it up without making a sound.

Women, instead, when discovering it up,
Make fusses and noises like they are just blowing up.
Does this make sense, who understands,
Why are things this way, when we walk up to the can?

I must say instead, it would be easier if,
Instead of the seat down, it were up instead.
For when the women walk in and see the seat up,
They can put it down, it's not like it's made of lead.

But, however, if when they walk in,
They are overjoyed to see the seat down.
You see, though, they did not realize,
The true lazyness of a man, oh no, he deserves the crown.
For when the woman sat down, instead of pleasure she felt,
Something cold and wet on the seat,
For her butt is now covered with "dribble" from when she sat down.

© Copyright 2000 Jone - All Rights Reserved
since 05-12-2000
Posts 387

1 posted 06-04-2000 02:19 PM       View Profile for MagnoliaBlue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for MagnoliaBlue

wow a poem about the seat
how neat
who cares if its up or down
just move it when you come around
it is like the old debate
about the paper and your mate
who cares if it rolls over or down
life is too short to clown around
just both venture into that little room
enter the shower together and bloom
you will discover you dont want to fight
only to make love with all your might..

Good luck with the seat at your house.
Sorry just a quickie little verse....
could have been worse.  LOL
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532

2 posted 06-04-2000 04:46 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

LOL You told them why we put the seats down that was suppose to a secret. anyway funny poem. thanks for the laugh.

"I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else"-Richey Edwards

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"Libraries gave us power
Then work came and made us free
What price now for a shallow piece of dignity"
Nicky Wire, A design for Life.

manic street preachers
"Rock 'n' roll is our epiphany
Culture, alienation, boredom and despair"
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Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA

3 posted 06-04-2000 05:19 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Isn't that why they invented the seat that AUTOMATICALLY lowers itself when it gets put up?!?!  

Great poem. . . thanks for the laugh!!!


 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

Member Elite
since 04-19-2000
Posts 2428

4 posted 06-04-2000 05:23 PM       View Profile for SpitFire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SpitFire

~Heehee,...too funny.  Thanks for the laughs.  I also enjoyed Magnolia Blue's reply.  Hey,...who cares? You know? *Peace.
Member Ascendant
since 12-26-1999
Posts 5512
Ontario, CANADA

5 posted 06-04-2000 05:53 PM       View Profile for Honeybee   Email Honeybee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Honeybee

Omigod - this is priceless.  LMAO!  Thanks for the laugh.  I loved the ending, I don't think that I'll ever nag a guy again about putting the seat down  

Take care,
Melissa Honeybee
Jana Tovey
since 05-30-2000
Posts 257

6 posted 06-04-2000 08:23 PM       View Profile for Jana Tovey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jana Tovey

I have experienced the renderings of a non-lifting toilet seat man(boys, actually).  It ain't a warm and fuzzy feeling.  Especially in the middle of the night.

Hilarious poem...a real universal topic!
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful

7 posted 06-04-2000 10:44 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

LOLOLOL....very cute, made me giggle...


 And this I say to you: why? Why? Just tell me why, so I can understand. Why?

Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961

8 posted 06-05-2000 11:32 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Yack...nothing worse than sitting down, and suddenly feeling wetness on your "should be" dry cheeks, obviously the leftovers of someone with poor aim!   Eeewww!  Nothing worse that is, except falling completely into the bowl because someone left the seat up!!!   ROFLMAO  Very cute poem!  
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