*A brief explanation: This is my favorite due to sentimental reasons, and was written about 3 years ago. It was a huge cry for help ... a prayer if you wish and is one I tend to read over and over when I need a boost.
'Tis times like this, I do reflect
As time goes swiftly by;
For never is there time enough
To sit and wonder why.
Seems yesterday, my biggest fear
Was "what to wear today",
Or fret about my volleyball,
Or friends and how we'd play.
But that was many years ago ...
So many bridges crossed;
Too many years have passed since then;
My adolescence lost.
With childhood just a memory
Of the happy times gone by;
I sit and ponder what "is now";
My future ... as it flies
Past by me at the speed of light,
It flies beyond control;
And all the while, I watch it,
As it swallows me up whole.
And yet I try to place the brakes
Upon these treads of life ...
To have it slow enough for me
To lesson all this strife.
I try the tricks to fool myself ...
I play the "45's",
From way back when I used to feel
So youthful and alive.
They take me back to simple times,
A warm and soothing feel;
And yet, I blink, and here I am,
Amidst this hectic toil.
Patiently, yet cowardice,
I ponder this alone ...
Always wanting still to please
The many ... save the one.
The more I try ... the less that I
Can understand the way,
That life's complexities betray
The simple life I crave.
What happened to the days of 'yore?
The simple days gone by;
That seemed so complex long ago,
And yet, I wonder why ...
Did God reserve his judgment
For the way I next approach
The task I have at hand before me
How I handle it or broach
The subject ... each time waiting ...
Watching every move ...
Waiting as I "drop the ball"
For then He'll disapprove?
Or is He waiting for the time
I ask Him for His help;
For when He puts me to the test ...
He pushes beyond doubt.
And in this doubt, there's time I fear
I can't continue on ...
Yet soon I'll see a shred of "light"
To tease me from beyond.
My senses leave me whirling
As I try to comprehend,
The many tests I'm given ...
The answers I can't find.
For somewhere in this hectic life,
I have to find my way;
And knowing that it's just a test
Is easier to say,
That given time enough to pass
These lessons that I learn;
Means hopefully tomorrow,
I may possibly confirm
That we are just a small part
Of this world of doubt and fear;
And each of us has moments
When we lose our hope and yet ...
There's brighter times beyond the clouds,
There's better times ahead;
Just hold on for an instant,
And the future's straight ahead.
It's waiting for me if I can
Just see beyond the clouds;
Just get beyond today and try to
Find myself again.
For now ... with all this chaos,
I am still "that little girl";
Who still believes in rainbows,
In this cold and heartless world.
So help me Lord, to pass this test
And weather out the storm;
For never have I needed
Quite the help I'm asking now.
You've been there for me, time again,
When I prayed for someone else ...
Yet now I feel so selfish,
For I'm asking for "myself".
Just help me see beyond today,
And offer me your strength;
For I am not too proud to ask ...
And know I have the faith.
For in the worst of times; You're there,
The best of times as well ...
And some day, if You hold my hand,
And get me through "this hell" ...
I'll make it to a point in life
When I look back and know ...
That though these were quite frightening times ...
We weathered out the storm.
[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 06-04-2000).]