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Passions in Poetry

Will She Come?

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X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


0 posted 06-04-2000 12:45 AM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for X Angel

all evening he waited
anxiously eyeing the clock
retracing his steps
over and over
counting the minutes
until her arrival

kneeling before a crackling fire
adding another log
he rose to check again
his preparations for tonight

the thick sheepskin rug
lay lovingly spread before the flames
waiting for her

the book
the one she longed after
in that tiny shop downtown
rested on the warm stone hearth
waiting for her

the wine
that special bottle
from a few year's ago
late fall harvest
sat open
and sweet
waiting for her

the glasses
his best crystal
sat sparkling in the firelight
waiting for her

his hand
stopped a moment
over his heart
and lovingly fingered
the prize there
hidden away in his pocket
where it lay
waiting for her

taking the ring
from it's secret place
he gazed at it
mesmerized by it's shine
by what it stood for
soon he smiled and
softly slipped it back
to it's repose
where it lay
waiting for her

seating himself back on the chair
he resumed his vigil
over the fire
over the wine
over the clock
over himself

and he sat
quiet and lost in thought
waiting for her

© Copyright 2000 Heather Walters - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 06-04-2000 12:56 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

wonderful imagery in this...
and cool presentation
perfect poem of anticipation.
great writing
take care, jm

 I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem
I'm feeling ...
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
cuz there's a little bit of something me...
In everything in you.
~MB20~

"What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly"
~Lao Tze Tao~
~Butterflies are meant to be free~

Jeffrey Carter
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 04-08-2000
Posts 2424
State of constant confusion!


2 posted 06-04-2000 01:23 AM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

What a wonderful read this was...I could feel the anticipation of it

 All my love,
Jeffrey

I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


3 posted 06-04-2000 01:27 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Sweetly beautiful! I hope she gets there soon!  
Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


4 posted 06-04-2000 01:40 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

XAngel~
I simply LOVE the way you did this one.
I anticipated every moment ...
every move he made ...
every thought he thought was mine ...
waiting for her

This is an excellent piece of poetry.
Enjoyed it immensely.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


5 posted 06-04-2000 02:07 AM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

SIGH

...there, I let it out.  I was holding my breath the whole read through!

Amazing girlie, simply amazing!


Pssst...GO BLAZERS!!!
Colin
Senior Member
since 06-05-99
Posts 612
Callington, Cornwall, England


6 posted 06-04-2000 04:27 AM       View Profile for Colin   Email Colin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Colin

Right, that's it! I'm definately going to complain to the library this time..... they've ripped the last page out again!  

I thought this was great, but I STILL wanna read the last page  

Eric.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


7 posted 06-04-2000 05:51 AM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Very well done...I enjoyed reading this..it just kept building and getting better.  James
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


8 posted 06-04-2000 06:19 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Wonderful X Angel ... I loved the style and the anticipation you built up in this poem, absolutely terrific!

Best wishes,
/Kit
X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


9 posted 06-05-2000 12:14 AM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

Janet Marie   it was supposed to have a happy ending! I dunno what happened...

Jeffrey...thanks!!

Poet DeVine....my dear, what if she's destined NEVER to arrive? Oooh have I given away too much of my sequel poem?

Marge...what you experienced is EXACTLY what I wanted the reader to do, to FEEL, to SEE, to ANTICIPATE! You made my day thanks!

Satiate   awww I hope you didn't get lightheaded or anything....like I did after the BLAZER game tonight *sigh*...anyhoo thanks hun!

Eric, wanna know my inspiration for this poem? A bookshelf full of old books, and I wanted to write a poem about them! Thanks for your kind comments!

James....thanks my intent exactamundo!  

Kit, again thanks to you too! I appreciate everyone reading this, look for a sequel soon!

~Heather
Poertree
Senior Member
since 11-05-1999
Posts 1413
UK


10 posted 06-06-2000 08:19 AM       View Profile for Poertree   Email Poertree   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poertree

heather

good job on this ..  you did indeed manage to create the feel of tension and anticipation.  As well as the more obvious device of the bolded words there was from the start a flavour of "preparation" .. everything very meticulous planned down to the last detail.  I think that this had the effect of bringing forcefully to the reader's attention the desperation with which the waiting man longs for this to be a successful evening.  Consequently we feel with him his anxiety and concern and .. yes .. anticipation ....

it all worked very very well heather ..

thanks  

philip
 
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