How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #7 Archive
 the rain's reign
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

the rain's reign

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


0 posted 06-03-2000 10:35 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

-the rain's reign-
rewrite of a very old poem

From the window, drops stream
And lengthen liquid shadows across the room.
Dark, transparent water across the papers I am reading.

I look at old poetry, to see where I came from.
Lots of quick fire burning itself out,
But some beauty, too.

The drops play with the words
On the page, near the window.
I smile at the water's newest, secret function.

I once wrote that rain
Crumbled temples to muddy ruin,
Left abstract art decayed in sod.
(I think I was angry at god)

I'd like to take pictures
Of these delicate shadows playing.
But I know flashcubes would ruin
The subtlety of their being.

So I'll have to be quick
And sculpt words for the rain's reign.
Refreshing; though imagined,
But there all the same.

© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 06-03-2000 11:28 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

From the window, drops stream
And lengthen liquid shadows across the room.
Dark, transparent water across the papers I am reading.

I look at old poetry, to see where I came from.
Lots of quick fire burning itself out,
But some beauty, too.
--------------------
I once wrote that rain
Crumbled temples to muddy ruin,
Left abstract art decayed in sod.
(I think I was angry at god)

I'd like to take pictures
Of these delicate shadows playing.
But I know flashcubes would ruin
The subtlety of their being.

So I'll have to be quick
And sculpt words for the rain's reign.
Refreshing; though imagined,
But there all the same.
-----------------

oh man... this one is perfect...
amazing imagery mike...
and I'm dizzy and giddy now...
what a lovely eve Im having...
almost as good as it would be if
I was sitting in one of those poetry open-  mike cafe's listening to you read these aloud...how cool would that be  
WAY COOL me thinks...
thank you for your kind reply to my poem...'tis much appreciated.
later cool-squirrel-gator
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


2 posted 06-04-2000 12:40 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Again, the imagery.....how much can I say without being redundant...liked the mood of contented aloneness here...slow detailed visuals...lovely, again, Mike...
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


3 posted 06-04-2000 12:45 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Words and poems about raindrops on the window always get to me for some strange reason. You did an excellent job with this one, Mike.

and "looking at old poetry to see where I came from"...wow! It doesn't get any truer than that.
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


4 posted 06-04-2000 08:24 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

So visual Mike, this was a wonderful verse, and I too loved the line "I look at old poetry, to see where I came from." I've been doing a bit of that lately myself ... I really enjoyed this one Mike!

Best wishes,
/Kit
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


5 posted 06-04-2000 11:16 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Mike~
This one is simply a wonderful reflection of who you are ... I like !
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


6 posted 06-04-2000 11:47 AM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Bsquirrel~ This is a great poem, it made me feel invited in and cozy.   - SEA
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


7 posted 06-04-2000 03:11 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Janet Marie,
Hey, come on out to California and you can hear me read this stuff three times a month (soon to be four). I'll be waiting!  

serenity,
I love how you worded that: "contended aloneness." That's exactly right!


Balladeer,
Glad you enjoyed. The one scary thing about immersing yourself TOO much in old poetry is you start writing that way again for a few verses, then you have to go back and fix it.  

Kit,
And best wishes to you, too. Thanks for reading.

Marge,
Glad to please a fellow member of the forest animal kingdom.  

SEA,
Thanks. I try to break down the walls between the reader and poet, even when that can be painful. Glad you enjoyed.

Mike
 
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #7 >> the rain's reign Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors